Toys that were crap....

My sister in law bought her daughter a kite.
We went to the beach, and after a lot of fucking about trying to get it to go, we did. Dead proud of ourselves as it hung there in the air.

Gave the kid the string. She held it then said "What do we do with it now?"

I looked at the sister-in-law blankly. Kid crashed the kite. We went and had ice cream. What a waste of time.

Yoyos as well.... shite
 
Loom Bands.

The bairn never made anything decent with them but they infiltrated the house. No matter how many times I cleaned up, they kept randomly appearing on the floor.

Also a Barbie glitter hairdryer which had the same effect with a very fine glitter. The dogs were sparkly and once I opened my sarnies at work and they had glitter on them.
 

Barnacle Boy

Striker
My sister in law bought her daughter a kite.
We went to the beach, and after a lot of fucking about trying to get it to go, we did. Dead proud of ourselves as it hung there in the air.

Gave the kid the string. She held it then said "What do we do with it now?"

I looked at the sister-in-law blankly. Kid crashed the kite. We went and had ice cream. What a waste of time.

Yoyos as well.... shite
YoYos were class man ya heathen
 
Bat and ball, usually kept for camping, hitting a sponge tennis ball backwards and forwards to each other in the wind, which usually diverts its course,with a heavy plastic tennis racket. Are we supposed to keep it up in the air which is impossible for more than 3-4 hits or do we let it bounce like in actual tennis...no we cant because the shit sponge ball doesnt bounce.
 
These used to piss me off...





The fuckin' proton gun was the wrong way round, with that daft stream emitting from the wrong end. This meant ya had to bite the stupid stream off, and put the gun on the ghostbuster's arm the opposite way round, which inevitably meant ya broke the little plastic arm straps as they weren't designed to go on that way.

Kenner obviously took us kids for mugs.
 
My sister in law bought her daughter a kite.
We went to the beach, and after a lot of fucking about trying to get it to go, we did. Dead proud of ourselves as it hung there in the air.

Gave the kid the string. She held it then said "What do we do with it now?"

I looked at the sister-in-law blankly. Kid crashed the kite. We went and had ice cream. What a waste of time.

Yoyos as well.... shite
That wasn't the kite, it was the useless kid.

Kites were mint. I might get one for my mate's kids.
Battling Tops
Fuck off, they were brilliant.
 
These used to piss me off...





The fuckin' proton gun was the wrong way round, with that daft stream emitting from the wrong end. This meant ya had to bite the stupid stream off, and put the gun on the ghostbuster's arm the opposite way round, which inevitably meant ya broke the little plastic arm straps as they weren't designed to go on that way.

Kenner obviously took us kids for mugs.
Good to see the word "Zany" making an appearance. Not sure I'd want zany Ghostbusting gear though. Id rather have "effective" "deadly" or "High tech".
 
The Terminator 2 Bio-Flesh Regenerator.



Seemed a canny idea on the face of it - what kid doesn't like the idea of customising Terminator flesh wounds, emulating the arm scene in Dyson's gaff etc.

Trouble was, it anly fit the supplied endoskeletons, neither of which had any movable parts. And on top of that, the stuff ya made the flesh with was messy as fuck, which of course got ya step mother in a reet fuckin twist if ya ever dared to mix a batch up. Pretty sure the flesh injection system was pretty fucking naff anarl.
 
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