Tough situation, need advice



Like lots of others on here, I moved away when I was young - 17 in my case. No regrets and I’ve never been back to live since. I’m now 51 and live in Australia.
To the op is it the area or family?
 
safcrhys said:
I moved away from the north east 5 years ago when I was 21 to be with my mrs in the Midlands, I realise now that I was just a kid and I never really thought it through properly. My GF was battling leukaemia at the time and I felt like I had to be there for her and look after her so I moved in with her and her mam and dad. It’s a big house and we don’t tread on each other’s toes, plenty of space etc...

Thankfully these days my mrs is in good health however we still live with her mam and dad although we have started to save a substantial amount of money for a deposit on our own house.

The problem is since Xmas I’ve become really homesick. Every time I return to the north east to see my parents etc... it breaks my heart to leave again. I’ve queried whether my GF will move up with me but she has categorically stated that she will not even entertain the idea.

So I’m kind of stuck in limbo, I’m quite miserable tbf. I count down the days until I’m able to go back home to see my family. I’ve started to think about giving my GF an ultimatum - you can either move up with me or I’ll go by myself. Of course this would break both our hearts.

Anyone ever been in a similar situation?
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Only live once mate, might as well make the most of it and be happy.
 
I moved from Sunderland when I was 18 down to London, hated it made some coin, met a lass from Somerset and got married.
Put a deposit down on an apartment in the Riviera primarily as a retirement gaff and to get on the propert ladder.
Three years ago we both quit our jobs down south and moved to Sunderland, our lass (on internet somewhere ;)) moved up to our property once we binned the tennant off.
I never gave her one thought if she wanted to come here or if she didn’t like it, happily she loves it here.
 
bryc1 said:
I was ripped away from the north east to the Midlands when my daughter was born. My then wife gave me an ultimatum i ether move cos she wanted to be near her mam and dad or she would go without me. I felt compelled to go cos of the responsibility of having a bairn. We wernt together much longer but i stayed down here for my daughter that was 15 years ago. I was homesick for about 2 years.
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One of my Sheff United mates split from his ex wife when she gave him an ultimatum that if he went to Exeter away to watch the Blades, she wouldn't be there when he came back.

He said he would have binned Sheff United if they told him he couldn't go with women so wasn't accepting that from her.
 
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You need to work out whether you value the relationship enough for you to stay there and if there is any prospect of things looking up for you where you are currently. If not, you should strongly consider moving and tell the missus. If she isn't prepared to go then you will have to consider ending things. At the end of the day you have to think of your own happiness and if she won't even consider the possibility of moving (if you are that down about the situation) then that's not really a balanced relationship and do you want to be a part of that?
 
safcrhys said:
I moved away from the north east 5 years ago when I was 21 to be with my mrs in the Midlands, I realise now that I was just a kid and I never really thought it through properly. My GF was battling leukaemia at the time and I felt like I had to be there for her and look after her so I moved in with her and her mam and dad. It’s a big house and we don’t tread on each other’s toes, plenty of space etc...

Thankfully these days my mrs is in good health however we still live with her mam and dad although we have started to save a substantial amount of money for a deposit on our own house.

The problem is since Xmas I’ve become really homesick. Every time I return to the north east to see my parents etc... it breaks my heart to leave again. I’ve queried whether my GF will move up with me but she has categorically stated that she will not even entertain the idea.

So I’m kind of stuck in limbo, I’m quite miserable tbf. I count down the days until I’m able to go back home to see my family. I’ve started to think about giving my GF an ultimatum - you can either move up with me or I’ll go by myself. Of course this would break both our hearts.

Anyone ever been in a similar situation?
Click to expand...

Don't even think about moving back to the ne, I left 38 years ago met a local lass and it was the best thing I ever did.
Stay where you are and get your own place. Remember the ne is only a couple of hours away and you can get your fix anytime.
Family and friends will understand and as you have been away 5 years already, in my mind it would be a big mistake.
My thoughts completely but only you can make such a big decision
 
safcrhys said:
I moved away from the north east 5 years ago when I was 21 to be with my mrs in the Midlands, I realise now that I was just a kid and I never really thought it through properly. My GF was battling leukaemia at the time and I felt like I had to be there for her and look after her so I moved in with her and her mam and dad. It’s a big house and we don’t tread on each other’s toes, plenty of space etc...

Thankfully these days my mrs is in good health however we still live with her mam and dad although we have started to save a substantial amount of money for a deposit on our own house.

The problem is since Xmas I’ve become really homesick. Every time I return to the north east to see my parents etc... it breaks my heart to leave again. I’ve queried whether my GF will move up with me but she has categorically stated that she will not even entertain the idea.

So I’m kind of stuck in limbo, I’m quite miserable tbf. I count down the days until I’m able to go back home to see my family. I’ve started to think about giving my GF an ultimatum - you can either move up with me or I’ll go by myself. Of course this would break both our hearts.

Anyone ever been in a similar situation?
Click to expand...

This sounds awful, but if you give her an ultimatum then she’ll have to entertain the thought, have you told her how you feel about it? And how down you are?
 
Cannot help but wonder if you will leave, come home and then after a few months think 'what the fuck was I thinking'. Coming back for a few days here and there is totally different from living here. Is it not similar to going on break/holiday, you get to see the good bits but living there in the hum drum of life is totally different.
 

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