PISTON
Striker
You couldn't kick your way out of a paper bag on such a thread and you certainly need specsavers to boot...
I haven't read it all the way through but i imagine you've got your hands full at the moment defending Ellis. It could become a full time job for you if things get any worse. You might need extra staff.
Anyway, if you need any help I'm over on my critically acclaimed Grey Day thread watching the little Jimmy Hill dancing man. It's a good thread, starts off a little melancholy but soon erupts into a fiesta of true happiness.