The Super spoilery Star Wars : The Last Jedi spoilers thread *don't even put your mouse over it*

Discussion in 'SMB' started by The Exile, Dec 14, 2017.

  1. Discopants91

    Discopants91 Striker


    I haven't got time to devote meself full time to the old racism though.
  2. errant

    errant Striker

    Nailed it...

    If there were a group of you, you’d be a great one...
  3. I've mentioned this on here before. Richard Chew, Paul Hirsch and Marcia Lucas did a fantastic re-edit of the film. They were using every last frame even after the call to cut to try and fix the pacing of the shots, to the point where they were using the wipes to cover things straying into the corner of the frame. Chew came up with the idea of rolling the last few frames of the sand people attack to make it look like he is waiving it. One of the biggest problems with the prequels is that they are edited so badly. For some reason they gave the sound engineer genius Ben Burtt a lead editor role on all of the films. I personally think that 'Attack of the Clones' could have possibly been saved in the edit (or made moderately less bad) if they had got rid of most of the dialog and restructured the sequences that focused on the environment to just slow it down and space it out a bit, and if they managed to change the narrative to make Anakin a bit more power hungry and sneaky and just more likely to find the dark side appealing.

    That film would have also been a lot better if Uncle Owen had been shown to have a much closer relationship with Anakin, and if they had actually been blood relatives, as had been implied in the original films. Also, if they wanted a plot twist, forget the romance with Padme and just have Anakin turn up, get her randy and shag her senseless. Have her wake up in the morning saying something"wow your force todger is an orgasm machine" (better dialog than some of the utter shite in that film) and have her generally limping around like Charlie Chaplin for a few scenes. Then she starts to regret it as she thinks that Anakin in a nob end. Then she finds out that she is pregnant and she is in a complete panic and starts to hide from Anakin as he is getting out of control. Then Obi Wan and Yoda decide to keep her in hiding but to take Luke away so that if Vader realizes that either one exists, if finds either one of them, he will not likely realise that there was two and the other will be safe. Then you get a scene where she has to decide which one will stay with her, and you can even have the final prequel ending with Padme and Leia living with each other until she is about 4, and being "sad and distant" and then maybe Leia waking up and she has been evacutated and something has happened to Padme and that is the last she sees of her. Sad film end, sad John Williams music, 4 year old Luke Skywalker in the desert, scrunched up face looking at the horizon, taahh-dah! Dahhh dahhh, diddly dooooo dahhh, diddllly dooooh dahhhh, diddly dah!!!

    There you go, I have fixed the prequel trilogy.

    Also, with the Game of Thrones blokes looking like they are going to get a Star Wars trilogy (there are a lot of trilogies building up...) maybe we are finally going to see Jabba the Hut bumming the rancor monster, or the C3PO/R2D2/BB8 love triangle, or Luke Skywalker consummating his relationship with Princess Leia.
    Last edited: Feb 7, 2018
  4. crombie88

    crombie88 Full Back

    The more I see the last Jedi the less I like it same with rogue one I would rather watch the prequels than either of them

    The force awakens ages badly as well but it is still a fun Star Wars film and definitely the best of Disney films
    PTR likes this.
  5. errant

    errant Striker

    if this does come to pass, there will be a lot of single sci-fi geeky men, happily fwapping away behind their keyboards before setting away a petition to have them two remake the last jedi...
  6. I suspect it will end up being some sort of early days of the Jedi thing, 'Game of Thrones in Space'. But I would think that there will probably be no bumming or any sort of shagging of any kind.
  7. The article you linked to is shockingly bad and the point you make is not supported by it. They contacted one moderator of a Facebook group, asked his opinion, and derived from that everyone they deem to be' alt-right' is claiming to be responsible for the backlash against 'The Last Jedi.' What kind of argument is that? Is really substance for an article. It is really just for people like you to lap up so they can draw some traffic to their site. It seems pretty desperate by the Huffington Post to me.

    There is no need to have any particular political outlook to hate that film. I showed you a few links with females, some of who identified as feminist, absolutely slating the last Jedi. I have seen very little praise for the film and it is only a small minority such as yourself and usual deluded journalists in the mass media that seem to be determined to contrive that the only reason anyone would not like it is because of their political position. The film is clearly tainted by political dogma, but you do not need to be opposed to that dogma to think that it has ruined the film. It is a woeful excuse for a film, and I predict that it's reputation will only get worse as time goes on. It is very much a product of its time, yet it was stale before it even came out.
  8. Mate, before you go picking holes in the way other people construct their arguments, I want you to think about how you argued that a film has a SOCIAL JUSTICE WARRIOR AGENDA because two characters are separated, and an extremist vegan agenda because a character who's a hermit has to milk an animal for some of his food and drink. OK? You might want to find yourself a safe place and speak to someone.
  9. Just to reiterate, the article is pathetic and you did not seem to have any point in bringing it up. You are blantantly just trying to find someway to make the reality fit the way you want it to be, so you are going through great unrealistic bounds to try and claim that the public reviews were manipulated even though there really is no evidence for that, and asking one moderator of a Facebook group is pure comedy 'evidence'. You are not even trying to defend the point when I challenge you on it, you just respond by questioning something else we already know we disagree on.

    But... no, I think it has a social justice warrior agenda for many reasons:

    Because every woman is portrayed as unrealistically faultless yet every man is shown to be stupid or a coward, and any reputation built up they built up previous films is destroyed (Luke Skywalker and Poe being prime examples). The women spend all of the film giving each other knowing looks every time the man bumbles through.

    Because when Poe challenges the female authority figure they try to make him out to an arrogant know-it-all in the face of his reasonable questioning. That subplot is all about men keeping their face shut and not asking questions of a woman, even when you think she is dropping a major bollock. You have no fucking right to ask, you are a man. They wrote fucking office politics into a Star Wars film. All the women rip the shit out of Poe all the way through the film. It would have been much more fitting if they strapped him up in a gimp mask for the duration of the film, because he spends most of the film stuck on that ship with a vice on his balls anyway. Did you find that plot entertaining? I thought it was absolute dog splat.

    Because in the middle of a space chase (which in itself has questionable logic) they contrive a ridiculous subplout where Finn and the pointless Rose Tico slip out of the side door to travel to a planet of evil capitalists to pick up a 'codebreaker', with the slaves, and treating animals badly and where they go on the most over-the-top anti-capitalist journey ever, and where they get arrested for parking on double yellow lines, and then free animals. The only reason that plot was in there was to serve a political agenda. It is so bad. If they did it well I would praise it for those qualities, but they even did the propaganda badly.

    Because they created a character called Rose Tico that offers nothing but to be contrary to anything logical and put it down to 'men being silly'. You require a social justice mentality to be able to resolve that woman flying through the sky to knock Finn out of the way of that gun. And when he says "What the fuck did you do that for?" she just says "Oh you silly billy man, you don't know what you are doing! I saved you!!!! LOL!!!!!" Of course, he is a man, he is not clever enough to sacrifice himself. Go on, explain that bit of plot to me. I feel so sorry for that actress because they have ruined her career with that shitty film. She can't act anyway, but nobody is going to want put money into anything she is in. It is the worst treatment of an actor in a Star Wars film since Jake Lloyd.

    Short of C3P0 kicking off because he is not happy with Poe ignoring his choice of pronouns or Admiral Ackbar coming out as trans-species and giving bass to mouth to Chewbacca I can't see how it could get much more SJW. The film is absolutely dripping with SJW agenda, and you are entitled to bury your head in the sand, but the vast weight of opinion, even from some SJW's is that the film is saturated with that dogma.

    But it is absolutely hilarious seeing people like yourself and the Huff Post coming up with more and more ridiculous reasons to think that the terrible reviews the film got in the public domain are not real. The reality is that the people reviewing films in the print media tend to come from a very narrow subset of the population, and they are in the club where you are either SJW or you don't rock the boat. Particularly in the US and Canada, but to a great degree in the UK, if you challenge these SJW notions, your career will be hurt. But the general public are sick of that bollocks, and they have put the film to the sword. And it is an absolute dog shit film, on a par with the likes of Jaws 4.
    Last edited: Feb 12, 2018
  10. And, you know, because Luke milked something.

    You have lost the plot.
  11. offmenut

    offmenut Winger

    I liked it
  12. DaveH

    DaveH Striker

    Sssh, you will get a 2000 word essay on why you should not have ;)
    offmenut likes this.
  13. Discopants91

    Discopants91 Striker

    Tenner says you go and see the next one.
  14. I might possibly see the Solo one, purely because the original directors are talented, but I am not sure if I want to watch a film that has been interfered with so much by Kasdan and Kennedy. There is absolutely no chance I will see the next one in the main series, unless the public domain reviews are exceptional. I was bored to tears throughout most of the film. I thought I was bored through most of Rogue One, but 'The Last Jedi' was one of the most boring films I have ever seen. And I happily sit through the Toho Godzilla films, the likes of Jaws 4, art films, cheap skin flicks, and countless other prints I have assessed for archiving. If the plot is terrible I always seem to find something in the cinematography, or the soundtrack or an individual acting performance to interest me. But with 'The Last Jedi' there is nothing. It is an anti-film.
  15. The Exile

    The Exile Striker

    Saw it again recently - Genesis Reborn - Star Wars Robot Chicken ;) - and Hamill remains fantastic in it.
  16. You still have not come up with a single point that support the argument that the reviews of that terrible film were hijacked by 'alt-rights'. Go and look at the Rotten Tomato reviews: Star Wars: The Last Jedi - Movie Reviews - Rotten Tomatoes
    Critical reviews are in the clear majority, and actually very few of them make observations on the political tone. They are mainly qualitative criticisms of the plot and characterizations. If it was all a big plot by the 'alt-right' to take down a film that they saw as a political statement, why would there still be negative reviews still piling in daily that make little comment on the politics of it nearly two months since the film has been released?
  17. offmenut

    offmenut Winger

    Great movie hijacked by the alt-right
  18. Discopants91

    Discopants91 Striker

    I'll be here to claim my tenner next year.
  19. If you love the films, that is great for you, I am glad that someone got something out of them. But they are terrible. I can enjoy a lot of terrible films too. I can sit through the Toho Godzilla and Mothra films and enjoy them, and they are awful, awful films. I can enjoy some of the later talkie Buster Keaton films where he is sometimes visibly drunk on the set. I find something to enjoy in them. I watch the worst of the Carry On films over and over again. I usually find something in the editing, or the cinematography or the music or something that is entertaining or interest. It is quite something for me to find absolutely nothing redeeming in a film. Pretty much the only thing I thought was not bad was Adrian Edmundson's performance.

    Even though I thought the plot for 'The Force Awakens' was weak, there were a lot of threads set up in that film that were either completely ignored or just cut dead in 'The Last Jedi'. You would have thought that after they killed off Darth Maul about three films before his time they might have realised keeping Snoke around, or maybe developing and giving some substance to the threads they started about him in the earlier films before they killed him, might have made sense.

    There is a girl on Youtube named Jenny Nicholson who made a video a few month before the film came out where she took some piss takey guesses at big reveals in 'The Last Jedi'. Keeping in mind that she really want just taking the piss, but doing in the way that Star Wars fans have expected to be let down, she actually got a few things completely right. One of her guesses was that Snoke was not going to be a giant after all, but that he would not be normal sized, they would make him about seven foot tall. She also predicted that there would be "an evil BB8, because it would make a good toy". And they did make an evil BB8, but they cut it from the film, but they did make the toy. She made a load more predictions right before the film came out, and got a lot right:

    They should hire her to be a script doctor on the next film. She has some good ideas (like Rey making a lightsabre out of scrap - there's an aspect of Rey that was completely dropped from this film, she is not a scavenger in the slightest in 'The Last Jedi').

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