The cancer is back. It felt like it was never really away.

foggy said:
The balloon is still floating! I can't throw it out, it would feel wrong. It's a miracle of balloonery. It's not as filled out as it was and a little bit limp but that's the way of these things I suppose...
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I'm amazed! If the balloon can last this long, then you've got no excuse I'm afraid :D
 


foggy said:
I've been to see the oncologist today. She asked me what I was expecting. I said I'm expecting to need more treatment. She told me I was correct. Is this the right way to tell somebody their cancer has returned? Is getting the answer correct supposed to help the absolute shit shovel that's just been twatted off my head? As my world came crashing down again, she added it had now spread to my liver. Our lass let out an audible gasp sigh thing. I hate hurting those closest to me. I wish I wasn't such a bother. The oncologist said it was 'a bummer'. I agreed. Then I asked her about her journey in. She had to get the train and was late. The weather was much better by now. We're all comfortable when we're talking weather. Then I signed the consent forms. Again.

So it's back to the chemo ward soon. I think some may know what that means. Attention seeking bellendery musings. No more surgery though. I don't think I could take any more. Now it's just time. In a lucky coincidence timing wise, the bairn flew up from Bristol this morning for a break at home,. I'd much rather she is up here than having to deal with the news miles from home. I can say it's ok and we'll have a hug. It took me nearly three hours to get to the airport. I don't think I've ever been so happy in a traffic jam. She's with me all day tomorrow. Well she's doing her dissertation and I'm chef. I've just had my loft done out. It's quite the place to dissert. We're having Caesar salad. I had a gout attack a month ago so went in to give blood to test uric acid levels. The nurse said I would also have a health check. I thought that was nice of them. Turns out I am also diabetic. It doesn't just rain...Anyway Caesar salad it is. And ice cream for pud. Fuck 'em.

I need painkillers. Lots of strong ones. Once I got over the operation I had a two week window, probably over Christmas luckily enough, where I was recovering nicely before the tumours and surgical scars had their way with my nerves. My nervous system is working very well. I am in no doubt about the amount of things inside me that aren't what they should be.

I feel quite relaxed. It's always better to know, no matter how bad the knowing what it is is. The graduation is 21st July so I have a target. It's always been the target but now it has a real date. Before that she turns 21 too. I may be packing my bags but they're not being weighed in just yet.

All the best.
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Your posts make me feel like laughing and crying at the same time mate, you have a wonderful heart and also way of words in such difficult and testing times for you. My fingers are always crossed for you, you can still beat this bastard. Me and the rest of SMB care for you like fuck mate!!!
 
foggy said:
I've been to see the oncologist today. She asked me what I was expecting. I said I'm expecting to need more treatment. She told me I was correct. Is this the right way to tell somebody their cancer has returned? Is getting the answer correct supposed to help the absolute shit shovel that's just been twatted off my head? As my world came crashing down again, she added it had now spread to my liver. Our lass let out an audible gasp sigh thing. I hate hurting those closest to me. I wish I wasn't such a bother. The oncologist said it was 'a bummer'. I agreed. Then I asked her about her journey in. She had to get the train and was late. The weather was much better by now. We're all comfortable when we're talking weather. Then I signed the consent forms. Again.

So it's back to the chemo ward soon. I think some may know what that means. Attention seeking bellendery musings. No more surgery though. I don't think I could take any more. Now it's just time. In a lucky coincidence timing wise, the bairn flew up from Bristol this morning for a break at home,. I'd much rather she is up here than having to deal with the news miles from home. I can say it's ok and we'll have a hug. It took me nearly three hours to get to the airport. I don't think I've ever been so happy in a traffic jam. She's with me all day tomorrow. Well she's doing her dissertation and I'm chef. I've just had my loft done out. It's quite the place to dissert. We're having Caesar salad. I had a gout attack a month ago so went in to give blood to test uric acid levels. The nurse said I would also have a health check. I thought that was nice of them. Turns out I am also diabetic. It doesn't just rain...Anyway Caesar salad it is. And ice cream for pud. Fuck 'em.

I need painkillers. Lots of strong ones. Once I got over the operation I had a two week window, probably over Christmas luckily enough, where I was recovering nicely before the tumours and surgical scars had their way with my nerves. My nervous system is working very well. I am in no doubt about the amount of things inside me that aren't what they should be.

I feel quite relaxed. It's always better to know, no matter how bad the knowing what it is is. The graduation is 21st July so I have a target. It's always been the target but now it has a real date. Before that she turns 21 too. I may be packing my bags but they're not being weighed in just yet.

All the best.
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Foggy, nowt is set in stone. 2006 I was given a terminal diagnosis. Lung cancer. Half a lung removed later and some horrific chemo and I'm still here. Since then I've been a major part of a team that won the Stirling prize for Architecture, I took over a half billion pound construction site that was failing and made it a multi award winning one, moved to Spain and I've been out all day pruning the olive trees.
Mr C they said we're sorry but ... that was almost 14 years ago to the day.
I've had cancers since, heart attacks, really serious hospital acquired pneumonias when they were about to amputate my legs.
And you have your daughters graduation coming up and thats a target.
And I know Cancer is a fuck on.
It is never, ever, brave confident morning again, and it may be your time soon, for me I've spent all this week with flu and when I check my snot rag there are flecks of blood, so I'm concerned 'IT' has come back. And it may be my time soon. But if I may say in what maybe my survivors arrogance, never f***ing give up. Surrender to the process, trust in the medical staff, but never give up.
Now when I say surrender to the process, one is powerless to alter outcomes but that doesnt mean you have to accept, or surrender, or give up.
Very best luck. Stay strong eh?
Foggy, nowt is set in stone. 2006 I was given a terminal diagnosis. Lung cancer. Half a lung removed later and some horrific chemo and I'm still here.
 
My second life said:
Foggy, nowt is set in stone. 2006 I was given a terminal diagnosis. Lung cancer. Half a lung removed later and some horrific chemo and I'm still here. Since then I've been a major part of a team that won the Stirling prize for Architecture, I took over a half billion pound construction site that was failing and made it a multi award winning one, moved to Spain and I've been out all day pruning the olive trees.
Mr C they said we're sorry but ... that was almost 14 years ago to the day.
I've had cancers since, heart attacks, really serious hospital acquired pneumonias when they were about to amputate my legs.
And you have your daughters graduation coming up and thats a target.
And I know Cancer is a fuck on.
It is never, ever, brave confident morning again, and it may be your time soon, for me I've spent all this week with flu and when I check my snot rag there are flecks of blood, so I'm concerned 'IT' has come back. And it may be my time soon. But if I may say in what maybe my survivors arrogance, never f***ing give up. Surrender to the process, trust in the medical staff, but never give up.
Now when I say surrender to the process, one is powerless to alter outcomes but that doesnt mean you have to accept, or surrender, or give up.
Very best luck. Stay strong eh?
Foggy, nowt is set in stone. 2006 I was given a terminal diagnosis. Lung cancer. Half a lung removed later and some horrific chemo and I'm still here.
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Excellent post mate!! Thank you for posting this.
 
My second life said:
Foggy, nowt is set in stone. 2006 I was given a terminal diagnosis. Lung cancer. Half a lung removed later and some horrific chemo and I'm still here. Since then I've been a major part of a team that won the Stirling prize for Architecture, I took over a half billion pound construction site that was failing and made it a multi award winning one, moved to Spain and I've been out all day pruning the olive trees.
Mr C they said we're sorry but ... that was almost 14 years ago to the day.
I've had cancers since, heart attacks, really serious hospital acquired pneumonias when they were about to amputate my legs.
And you have your daughters graduation coming up and thats a target.
And I know Cancer is a fuck on.
It is never, ever, brave confident morning again, and it may be your time soon, for me I've spent all this week with flu and when I check my snot rag there are flecks of blood, so I'm concerned 'IT' has come back. And it may be my time soon. But if I may say in what maybe my survivors arrogance, never f***ing give up. Surrender to the process, trust in the medical staff, but never give up.
Now when I say surrender to the process, one is powerless to alter outcomes but that doesnt mean you have to accept, or surrender, or give up.
Very best luck. Stay strong eh?
Foggy, nowt is set in stone. 2006 I was given a terminal diagnosis. Lung cancer. Half a lung removed later and some horrific chemo and I'm still here.
Click to expand...

Wow. Fair play sir. Your second life indeed.
 
foggy said:
I've been to see the oncologist today. She asked me what I was expecting. I said I'm expecting to need more treatment. She told me I was correct. Is this the right way to tell somebody their cancer has returned? Is getting the answer correct supposed to help the absolute shit shovel that's just been twatted off my head? As my world came crashing down again, she added it had now spread to my liver. Our lass let out an audible gasp sigh thing. I hate hurting those closest to me. I wish I wasn't such a bother. The oncologist said it was 'a bummer'. I agreed. Then I asked her about her journey in. She had to get the train and was late. The weather was much better by now. We're all comfortable when we're talking weather. Then I signed the consent forms. Again.

So it's back to the chemo ward soon. I think some may know what that means. Attention seeking bellendery musings. No more surgery though. I don't think I could take any more. Now it's just time. In a lucky coincidence timing wise, the bairn flew up from Bristol this morning for a break at home,. I'd much rather she is up here than having to deal with the news miles from home. I can say it's ok and we'll have a hug. It took me nearly three hours to get to the airport. I don't think I've ever been so happy in a traffic jam. She's with me all day tomorrow. Well she's doing her dissertation and I'm chef. I've just had my loft done out. It's quite the place to dissert. We're having Caesar salad. I had a gout attack a month ago so went in to give blood to test uric acid levels. The nurse said I would also have a health check. I thought that was nice of them. Turns out I am also diabetic. It doesn't just rain...Anyway Caesar salad it is. And ice cream for pud. Fuck 'em.

I need painkillers. Lots of strong ones. Once I got over the operation I had a two week window, probably over Christmas luckily enough, where I was recovering nicely before the tumours and surgical scars had their way with my nerves. My nervous system is working very well. I am in no doubt about the amount of things inside me that aren't what they should be.

I feel quite relaxed. It's always better to know, no matter how bad the knowing what it is is. The graduation is 21st July so I have a target. It's always been the target but now it has a real date. Before that she turns 21 too. I may be packing my bags but they're not being weighed in just yet.

All the best.
Click to expand...
That's nowt; I can't get duel controls fitted on my car for a month.

Just to give you a wry smile brother 👍 🤞
 
foggy said:
Wow. Fair play sir. Your second life indeed.
Click to expand...
Absolutely Foggy. It is a lottery, there is no sense in who gets through this, think of little Bradley and ah...
I have a mate, smashing bloke, done well for himself. He is a Reader in Clinical Psychology which roughly translated means he is a retired Professor. He has spent the last years of his career exploring something called Positive Psychology. It is how when life throws us a shit sandwich to chew on what lessons are contained. What insight it gives us , what strengths we develop. Your love for your daughter shines through your post. You keep on being there to love her as long as you can eh'? Best wishes. PM if you feel it appropriate
 
I was just wondering how you were doing today strangely enough. Awful news for you, but great that you've got your daughter home and as others have said that you have a target to work to. All the very best for that.
 

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