Terminal Cancer part IV

coxhoedave

Midfield
This message comes from a very weary Coxhoedave to let the good folk of the SMB that I'm still alive and kicking.
It's been about 6 weeks since I last posted but it's been a long 6 weeks both physically and mentally for me. I feel far weaker now than when I wrote my last post, it's surprising to think how much stronger I felt just those few short weeks ago.
I mentioned about hiccups being a problem. Sadly they've remained a problem that simply won't go away. The Macmillan consultant said they had around 250 different drugs to treat hiccups but they're all basically ineffective. The hiccups seem to have settled a little but they're never far away. Death by hiccups :eek: About a fortnight ago I had them bad in the small hours and I was proped up in bed in an effort for them to disappear. I was also full of morphine and in a semi conscious state.
Into the bedroom walked my late brother who died in 2002. There was no fear, only relief that he looked so good. Late 20s tanned and slim.
"Come on, time to go with me"
"OK I'm coming" was my immediate response.
In my semi conscious drugged up state I was more than happy to go to my death.
I'm atheist and not spiritualist in any sense of the word but this was so incredibly powerful. Our lass says I've called out his name in my sleep a couple of times and I'm under strict instructions not to go with him should be return :D
My cancer continues to spread and I now possess a mighty fine lump on my neck. My oncologist has recommended radiotherapy to control it so I'll be giving that a bash some time in the coming days. It my work, it may not, only time will tell.
Puking seems to be developing into a daily feature of life which is hugely frustrating because it's hard enough to get food down in the first place. Having said that I'm still over 12 stone which I'm delighted about.
Talking about keeping food and drink down my long awaited pint in the pub never happened. I did however manage a couple of glasses of wine in the Dun Cow, Durham last Friday. Bit of a disappointment really. My taste buds are knackered so the wine didn't taste too good. I enjoyed the craic but puked the wine up when I get home. We now have ourselves a teetotal Coxhoedave :eek::eek: Never thought I'd hear that.
Anyway I only wanted this to be brief and I'm full of morphine (which is probably why this post is all over the place) so I'll be off for now.
Now get out and and enjoy yourselves!
 

rocky

Striker
This message comes from a very weary Coxhoedave to let the good folk of the SMB that I'm still alive and kicking.
It's been about 6 weeks since I last posted but it's been a long 6 weeks both physically and mentally for me. I feel far weaker now than when I wrote my last post, it's surprising to think how much stronger I felt just those few short weeks ago.
I mentioned about hiccups being a problem. Sadly they've remained a problem that simply won't go away. The Macmillan consultant said they had around 250 different drugs to treat hiccups but they're all basically ineffective. The hiccups seem to have settled a little but they're never far away. Death by hiccups :eek: About a fortnight ago I had them bad in the small hours and I was proped up in bed in an effort for them to disappear. I was also full of morphine and in a semi conscious state.
Into the bedroom walked my late brother who died in 2002. There was no fear, only relief that he looked so good. Late 20s tanned and slim.
"Come on, time to go with me"
"OK I'm coming" was my immediate response.
In my semi conscious drugged up state I was more than happy to go to my death.
I'm atheist and not spiritualist in any sense of the word but this was so incredibly powerful. Our lass says I've called out his name in my sleep a couple of times and I'm under strict instructions not to go with him should be return :D
My cancer continues to spread and I now possess a mighty fine lump on my neck. My oncologist has recommended radiotherapy to control it so I'll be giving that a bash some time in the coming days. It my work, it may not, only time will tell.
Puking seems to be developing into a daily feature of life which is hugely frustrating because it's hard enough to get food down in the first place. Having said that I'm still over 12 stone which I'm delighted about.
Talking about keeping food and drink down my long awaited pint in the pub never happened. I did however manage a couple of glasses of wine in the Dun Cow, Durham last Friday. Bit of a disappointment really. My taste buds are knackered so the wine didn't taste too good. I enjoyed the craic but puked the wine up when I get home. We now have ourselves a teetotal Coxhoedave :eek::eek: Never thought I'd hear that.
Anyway I only wanted this to be brief and I'm full of morphine (which is probably why this post is all over the place) so I'll be off for now.
Now get out and and enjoy yourselves!
You sir are an absolute inspiration. Take care
 

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