Suicide

soapster said:
although used in a term of "committing crime" , however the word committed is not solely used in that context.

it can be used as determine a course of action such as -
pledged or bound to a certain course or policy; dedicated.
"a committed environmentalist"
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In the context of suicide it has been used historically to denote an act of crime. I know well how committed people can be to different acts or purposes but I wouldnt use it in the context that someone was committed to dying by their own hand.

Wilfy said:
Completed doesn’t sit right with me, sounds like a computer game phrase.
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It's used in the world of psychotherapy all the time.
 


DubLass said:
In the context of suicide it has been used historically to denote an act of crime. I know well how committed people can be to different acts or purposes but I wouldnt use it in the context that someone was committed to dying by their own hand.


It's used in the world of psychotherapy all the time.
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Might just be me. Suppose it’s a lot better than terms I use when talking about it though.
 
My nephew was aged 26 when he committed suicide, a massive shock for all the family.

At the inquest a few stories emerged from the coroner that he had self harmed but we never knew. What made it particularly sad was that he had many people around him who would have helped, but no-one knew what was going on in his mind.

Do I blame him? No , I just felt very sad and still do.

One massive SAFC fan known to many people jumped off the Marsden Grotto a few years back, he was the last person I would have expected to do that. Or another MLF who jumped off the Wearmouth Bridge and his body has never been found.

You can never know what's going on in someone's mind if they are intent on killing themselves.

So for all the people who want to have a pop at people that commit suicide, the only thing I could say is that you don't know their reasons. But the fact they decided to end their life must surely show they were in a very dark place to even contemplate such a thing.

RIP to all
 
DubLass said:
In the context of suicide it has been used historically to denote an act of crime. I know well how committed people can be to different acts or purposes but I wouldnt use it in the context that someone was committed to dying by their own hand.
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I am not going to fall out with you over the use of the word and it may be when we look back, that we now presume that is how the word was meant. However the use of language changes over the years and I am more than happy to be wary of using the word committed. I do sometimes think that by using less harsh words takes away from the severity of an action.

Not only suicide but other actions. say to a shoplifter- so you went into the shop to steal-no I am not a thief. or another way of saying- so you went into the shop to see what you can get- yeah, I needed money for *****

neither of us can tell what was in a persons mind prior to the final act but fair to say, a good number of suicides if not all are determined acts or by definition they would not be suicides but death by accident / misadventure etc (is that to simplistic).

how long these thoughts have been with them, we will never know and as people have pointed out even close people had no idea, but if all the jots were joined, it may be a very different story.

By the nature that people are hiding the signs shows how determined they are as some go to amazingly extreme lengths.

however I do take my hats off to you guys, who are trying to break into that cycle and I wish you every success.
 
It's neither brave nor selfish. It's a sign of mental illness, obviously. Mentally well people don't kill themselves.

If you or anyone you know are feeling suicidal please GO TO THE f***ing DOCTOR.
 
Depends how you do it too. Stepping out in front of a train leaving the driver in a terrible state for the rest of their life you could call selfish as its sorted you out but the driver and people who are left with the aftermath are worse off.
 
dangermows said:
Selfish or brave?

I've always thought it was really brave but just heard a friend of the family has done it (and left behind two little uns) and I can see why some would class it as a selfish act now.
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I was going to post, "don't know never tried it", being flippant.

But it has affected me and I have thought about doing it to be honest.

2 years ago my mate and childhood friend, Paul Bond from Midfield said he was coming over here at Christmas to visit as his mother had just passed away whom he lived with after a messy seperation, we had just got back in touch a few years earlier after about 10 years, me Army him married with kids and grandkids.

Then in December I got a message through saying he'd taken his own life, I was at work about to give the morning assembly to the whole school, I felt devistated, my first thoughts were "why didn't he contact me?", Followed by "what must he have been thinking when he put the belt around his kneck and kicked the stool away?"

We got into all sorts of trouble as kids, from dolling off to causing mayhem through Newcastle, I can't mention too much as it'll incrminate me. I still think about him and I miss him.

He was neither selfish nor brave, he was troubled without support.

RIP Bondy.
 
I'm not sure about the selfish accusation.

I assume people think their loved ones will be better off without them.

I assume their depression/mood is overwhelming and suicide is the rational way out at the time.

I could be wrong.
 
bigmarlon said:
It's neither brave nor selfish. It's a sign of mental illness, obviously. Mentally well people don't kill themselves.

If you or anyone you know are feeling suicidal please GO TO THE f***ing DOCTOR.
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Well there's a sweeping generalisation.

So people who have MND or other conditions which will basically destroy their abilities and life are "mentally ill" for wanting to choose how they die?
What's your stance on a dignified death?

We will have assisted suicide in this country in my lifetime. I guarantee it.

You wouldn't let an animal suffer, why should people?
 
Harry Angstrom said:
I'm not sure about the selfish accusation.

I assume people think their loved ones will be better off without them.

I assume their depression/mood is overwhelming and suicide is the rational way out at the time.

I could be wrong.
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This is how it was described to me by the angry mother of someone who'd attempted it when I was somewhat ignorantly saying how selfish an act it was.

I've thought differently ever since.
 
disco_kegs said:
Depends how you do it too. Stepping out in front of a train leaving the driver in a terrible state for the rest of their life you could call selfish as its sorted you out but the driver and people who are left with the aftermath are worse off.
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This is how I feel really. If you really want to do it then by all means do it but traumatising others not associated with yourself isn’t fair in my eyes. Not that it’s particularly nice for the family, friends or anyone like.

It’s a shit situation all round really. I think if maybe something like euthanasia was legalised then potentially some people may get the chance to receive the help they need that they wouldn’t get otherwise.
 
chriswallace85 said:
This is how it was described to me by the angry mother of someone who'd attempted it when I was somewhat ignorantly saying how selfish an act it was.

I've thought differently ever since.
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People who are removed from it will just see the consequences.

No rational person would top themselves if they had young kids. But at the time they could be suffering delusions etc. It is a very complicated issue.

If people get early and effective treatment the episode can be fleeting, if not they can be gone in an instant.

All suicides are tragedies.
 
disco_kegs said:
Depends how you do it too. Stepping out in front of a train leaving the driver in a terrible state for the rest of their life you could call selfish as its sorted you out but the driver and people who are left with the aftermath are worse off.
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What if he's on 2 strikes already and fancies early retirement?
 
Harry Angstrom said:
I'm not sure about the selfish accusation.

I assume people think their loved ones will be better off without them.

I assume their depression/mood is overwhelming and suicide is the rational way out at the time.

I could be wrong.
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Fair shout. Is it not selfish to expect someone not to if they are suffering badly? It's their life after all.

Harry Angstrom said:
People who are removed from it will just see the consequences.

No rational person would top themselves if they had young kids. But at the time they could be suffering delusions etc. It is a very complicated issue.

If people get early and effective treatment the episode can be fleeting, if not they can be gone in an instant.

All suicides are tragedies.
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The last sentence nails it.

WillD said:
I was going to post, "don't know never tried it", being flippant.

But it has affected me and I have thought about doing it to be honest.

2 years ago my mate and childhood friend, Paul Bond from Midfield said he was coming over here at Christmas to visit as his mother had just passed away whom he lived with after a messy seperation, we had just got back in touch a few years earlier after about 10 years, me Army him married with kids and grandkids.

Then in December I got a message through saying he'd taken his own life, I was at work about to give the morning assembly to the whole school, I felt devistated, my first thoughts were "why didn't he contact me?", Followed by "what must he have been thinking when he put the belt around his kneck and kicked the stool away?"

We got into all sorts of trouble as kids, from dolling off to causing mayhem through Newcastle, I can't mention too much as it'll incrminate me. I still think about him and I miss him.

He was neither selfish nor brave, he was troubled without support.

RIP Bondy.
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:( Good honest post marra.
 
I can see both sides of it, having lost my brother that way several years ago, and also having a couple of 'incomplete attempts' myself.

Sad is the closest though - being in a place where you actually believe the world, your kids, everyone you know, will be better off without you. You know they'll cry and make noises, but they'll move on without you dragging them back. It's trying to remember you didn't always feel like that and that you won't always. I was lucky enough to have enough awareness/guilt of the mess I'd leave/whatever to stop before taking that last step.
 

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