Suicide must be a dark place



It's shit. The pressures of modern life and the influences of social media and projection of a perfect artificial life certainly play a part in many people's experiences of mental ill health.
I think as a society we're certainly getting better at acknowledging and understanding mental health but there's much more work to be done. This place is brilliant and supportive to those that need it but we still use mental health as a slur and an insult and then wonder why people, especially men, don't seek help. Actions do speak louder than words, but words are still hugely powerful and can be massively negative or positive.

I could ramble on for hours about this but today is a self care day for me. Instead I'll leave one my own personal experiences of suicidal thoughts Trying to break the loop and urge anyone who identifies with any of the parts to reach out to someone, anyone, and be honest how you feel, people may never totally understand but they don't have any chance if they don't know. Likewise, if you're concerned about anyone ask twice how they're doing, you may never understand but if someone is feeling low or suicidal knowing someone is there to listen is a huge step forward.
My messages are always open and like others on here I'll respond to anyone who messages but there might be a delay. Please reach out to someone. A GP, a friend, family, professional or anonymous online services.

There's huge amounts of services out there to listen such as:
Samaritans: 116 123 24/7 Homepage
Campaign against living miserably: 5pm-12am 0800 58 58 58 www.thecalmzone.net. Webchat - Webchat - Campaign Against Living Miserably
Crisis Text Line | Text HOME To 741741 free, 24/7 Crisis Counseling - text to 85258

Newcastle and Gateshead NHS Crisis Team 24/7 0191 814 8899 or freephone 0800 652 2863.
Sunderland and South Tyenside NHS Crisis Team 24/7 0303 123 1145 or freephone 0800 652 2867. For Deaf service users please text 07889 036 280
www.cntw.nhs.uk

Home

Cumbria, Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust (NTW) provides mental health and disability services and support across the north of England.
www.cntw.nhs.uk www.cntw.nhs.uk
 
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rudd said:
It's shit. The pressures of modern life and the influences of social media and projection of a perfect artificial life certainly play a part in many people's experiences of mental ill health.
I think as a society we're certainly getting better at acknowledging and understanding mental health but there's much more work to be done. This place is brilliant and supportive to those that need it but we still use mental health as a slur and an insult and then wonder why people, especially men, don't seek help. Actions do speak louder than words, but words are still hugely powerful and can be massively negative or positive.

I could ramble on for hours about this but today is a self care day for me. Instead I'll leave one my own personal experiences of suicidal thoughts Trying to break the loop and urge anyone who identifies with any of the parts to reach out to someone, anyone, and be honest how you feel, people may never totally understand but they don't have any chance if they don't know. Likewise, if you're concerned about anyone ask twice how they're doing, you may never understand but if someone is feeling low or suicidal knowing someone is there to listen is a huge step forward.
My messages are always open and like others on here I'll respond to anyone who messages but there might be a delay. Please reach out to someone. A GP, a friend, family, professional or anonymous online services.

There's huge amounts of services out there to listen such as:
Samaritans: 116 123 24/7 Homepage
Campaign against living miserably: 5pm-12am 0800 58 58 58 www.thecalmzone.net. Webchat - Webchat - Campaign Against Living Miserably
Crisis Text Line | Text HOME To 741741 free, 24/7 Crisis Counseling - text to 85258

Newcastle and Gateshead NHS Crisis Team 24/7 0191 814 8899 or freephone 0800 652 2863.
Sunderland and South Tyenside NHS Crisis Team 24/7 0303 123 1145 or freephone 0800 652 2867. For Deaf service users please text 07889 036 280
www.cntw.nhs.uk

Home

Cumbria, Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust (NTW) provides mental health and disability services and support across the north of England.
www.cntw.nhs.uk www.cntw.nhs.uk
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The services stranger. What a hero! You told your story superbly... Thanks for sharing.
 
Lad from the Jarra branch did last year, you wouldn’t have known he was in a dark place, literally the life and soul of the party and great to be around. Been to a few home and away games with him and a stag do and he was superb, the type you gravitate towards, totally infectious personality.

I’m sure we have all been in dark places at some point, where it seems impossible to see what is beyond the immediate low point you are going through.

It leaves a world of shit behind, no doubt about it, and some people view it as selfish but if you are at the point where you are so low you can only see the world as a better place without you, I don’t view it as selfish at all, more an inability to see that things will be ok, if we endure and get past them.
 
rudd said:
It's shit. The pressures of modern life and the influences of social media and projection of a perfect artificial life certainly play a part in many people's experiences of mental ill health.
I think as a society we're certainly getting better at acknowledging and understanding mental health but there's much more work to be done. This place is brilliant and supportive to those that need it but we still use mental health as a slur and an insult and then wonder why people, especially men, don't seek help. Actions do speak louder than words, but words are still hugely powerful and can be massively negative or positive.

I could ramble on for hours about this but today is a self care day for me. Instead I'll leave one my own personal experiences of suicidal thoughts Trying to break the loop and urge anyone who identifies with any of the parts to reach out to someone, anyone, and be honest how you feel, people may never totally understand but they don't have any chance if they don't know. Likewise, if you're concerned about anyone ask twice how they're doing, you may never understand but if someone is feeling low or suicidal knowing someone is there to listen is a huge step forward.
My messages are always open and like others on here I'll respond to anyone who messages but there might be a delay. Please reach out to someone. A GP, a friend, family, professional or anonymous online services.

There's huge amounts of services out there to listen such as:
Samaritans: 116 123 24/7 Homepage
Campaign against living miserably: 5pm-12am 0800 58 58 58 www.thecalmzone.net. Webchat - Webchat - Campaign Against Living Miserably
Crisis Text Line | Text HOME To 741741 free, 24/7 Crisis Counseling - text to 85258

Newcastle and Gateshead NHS Crisis Team 24/7 0191 814 8899 or freephone 0800 652 2863.
Sunderland and South Tyenside NHS Crisis Team 24/7 0303 123 1145 or freephone 0800 652 2867. For Deaf service users please text 07889 036 280
www.cntw.nhs.uk

Home

Cumbria, Northumberland, Tyne and Wear NHS Foundation Trust (NTW) provides mental health and disability services and support across the north of England.
www.cntw.nhs.uk www.cntw.nhs.uk
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Very powerful account that, mate.
Brilliantly told, if anyone is struggling on here, reading that, they could find it inspirational.
 
Just seen a body lying face down in the river at about 12.30 today... Must have jumped from Alexandra Bridge, emergency services there but unfortunately it looked too late.... Horrific to see but feel for the man and his family.
 
justsafc1971 said:
Just seen a body lying face down in the river at about 12.30 today... Must have jumped from Alexandra Bridge, emergency services there but unfortunately it looked too late.... Horrific to see but feel for the man and his family.
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That's terrible, I attended a funeral in sunderland this week for someone who did similar, very sad times 😔 R. I. P for the gentleman today.
 
justsafc1971 said:
Just seen a body lying face down in the river at about 12.30 today... Must have jumped from Alexandra Bridge, emergency services there but unfortunately it looked too late.... Horrific to see but feel for the man and his family.
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It's on Sunderland Echo facebook page now. Poor thing.
 
Skandhaless said:
That's a hard one mate. Hope things got better for her .
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Aye, they did thanks. Growing up, she was in & out of hospital quite a bit - we had quite a close family, so there was always somewhere to go. My Dad did the best he could to keep me & my sister happy. About 10 years ago my Mam had some decent counselling and therapy, think it allowed her to put a few issues to rest She's been off all medication for a couple of years now, seems a lot happier
 
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Ramshanker said:
Aye, they did thanks. Growing up, she was in & out of hospital quite a bit - we had quite a close family, so there was always somewhere to go. My Dad did the best he could to keep me & my sister happy. About 10 years ago my Mam had some decent counselling and therapy, think it allowed her to put a few issues to rest She's been off all medication for a couple of years now, seems a lot happier
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Nice one mate , she's due a bit of peace by the sounds. You too.👍
 
West_Winger said:
Thanks everyone for the kind replies. I need to sort my head out I think. I was in a similar place last summer. Literally no idea why.
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One of the finest posters on here as well mate. I remember your exceptional post to likes ratio before you had to change to a new account (think I'm remembering this right?). When you make it back to striker again as you know the strikers forum offers incredible support with us being the creme de la creme ;)

Jokes aside hope you're sound mate.
 
Goat Eyes said:
The services stranger. What a hero! You told your story superbly... Thanks for sharing.
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Sad thing is, I don't know his name, just he drove a red Alfa. Tried finding the bloke on Facebook but a lot of people from a lot of places pass through service stations.
El Oso said:
Very powerful account that, mate.
Brilliantly told, if anyone is struggling on here, reading that, they could find it inspirational.
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Thanks, even when I was feeling well enough to post that you can still see the negativity in the opening paragraphs. It's been a bumpy road but I'm doing canny at the moment.
 
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rudd said:
Sad thing is, I don't know his name, just he drove a red Alfa. Tried finding the bloke on Facebook but a lot of people from a lot of places pass through service stations.
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Keep it that way. It’s somewhat better you’ll never find him.

At least you know there are good people out there that will do anything for anybody with no material gain.

That bloke can sleep with a clear conscience and that is important.

I’m sure you’ll do something equally as impressive one day if not already.
 
Goat Eyes said:
Friday is twelve months since my sister.

It was recorded as a drugs related death as the coroner couldn’t conclusively say she’d intentionally took her own life but that’s the only way I can see it.

You’re right, it’s f***ing horrific for the family, worse than people just dying. Every day I struggle with, what more could I have done, what more should I have done, what would I change if I could go back 1 year ago, 3 years ago, 5 years ago.... she was getting her life back on track as well and was beautiful young woman. Her three kids have to be the focus but fuck me it’s hard work keeping it all together all the time.

You mentioned in the OP that it was a breakdown in his relationship and custody battle. It’s a similar story time and time again. People need to start doing what’s right and not what scores them the most f***ing points.

Her last words to her kids were, see you Friday with a big smile on her face. Her last Facebook posts were full of positivity about her future.
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When they’re that low it doesn’t take much to finish it off. Even something that might seem really trivial.
Had 2 old army colleagues do it in the last 3 months. It’s frightening everyone within a small group of old army friends that still talk regularly. If there’s any silver lining it’s that we’ve all promised each other to reach out and that we won’t think they’re “gay” for being open.
 
rudd said:
Sad thing is, I don't know his name, just he drove a red Alfa. Tried finding the bloke on Facebook but a lot of people from a lot of places pass through service stations.

Thanks, even when I was feeling well enough to post that you can still see the negativity in the opening paragraphs. It's been a bumpy road but I'm doing canny at the moment.
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Hang in there mate.
I think that it shows tremendous courage to write such an incredibly personal account

I was close to someone who was diagnosed manic depressive and in bad place nearly 30 years ago.
Although not suicidal, she needed help and, she ended up in a psychiatric hospital for a week.

It was a very very stressful time, but we were really fortunate that she got that help.
It was the stress of a set of unique circumstances at the time.

She literally never slept for a week, she couldn't stop talking and saying bizarre and upsetting things, and definitely needed to be hospitalised.

She is ok now, but I wonder what could have happened if she never got that help.
 
El Oso said:
Hang in there mate.
I think that it shows tremendous courage to write such an incredibly personal account

I was close to someone who was diagnosed manic depressive and in bad place nearly 30 years ago.
Although not suicidal, she needed help and, she ended up in a psychiatric hospital for a week.

It was a very very stressful time, but we were really fortunate that she got that help.
It was the stress of a set of unique circumstances at the time.

She literally never slept for a week, she couldn't stop talking and saying bizarre and upsetting things, and definitely needed to be hospitalised.

She is ok now, but I wonder what could have happened if she never got that help.
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I'm doing well at the moment, thanks.

The initial process of getting help can be the hardest part, for a variety of reasons. Glad they are doing well. Psychiatric hospitals certainly do have their value, despite many peoples opinion of them.
The thing I struggled with afterwards was the sense of guilt, knowing that I've worked in psychiatry for a decade and had access to other professionals, psychiatrists, nurses, psychologists and other services, literally within metres of me. The biggest thing I learnt is that early acknowledgement of mental ill health is key to longer term good health. I left it too long and it took over, rational logic and reason disappeared as depression took over large parts of my thought processes. It wasn't until a casual conversation with a colleague who's also a psychiatrist where the simple message really hit home; oncologists still get cancer, dentists still get fillings, cardiologists can still have hearts attacks and psychiatrists can get depressed, but recognising symptoms early saves so much.
 

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