Stupid things you've done today

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i was only one in local not drinking tonight. The lads took the car keys from behind the bar. Ive parked it a few streets away
 
Came out of boozer tonite ...went over to my car ..pressed key fob...fcukin nowt...tried key in door ..fuckin nothing ...thought keys were mal functioning ..rang our lass to come and pick me up ...then twigged that I was standing beside a car similiar to mine ! Faaaark ,,rang her again ..luckily had not left ...wiped sweat orf brow and motored home !!
 
Frijj said:
Left a tray of ice cubes on top of the (cold) cooker which melted overnight, broke the hob and tripped the electric

Happy Mother's Day Mam, I've knacked the cooker :rolleyes:
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Stubbed 3 toes on my left foot on the wood skirting on the stairs outside the bairn's bedroom. Frigging agony and now they've seized up. Wouldn't be surprised if the little toe is broken
 
Went to run the bairn a bath, forgot the last thing used was the shower, got frigging soaked
 
I've jet cleaned the decking without incident. I often do daft stuff but not today. Therefore feeling quite pleased with myself. Sorry to be smug when you're all obviously dafties.
 
Fell asleep for three hours this afternoon, had locked the door and left the key in the lock. The reason this was stupid was our lass was on the other side of the door out in the car, and when she got home she couldn't get in for said three hours as a result of me being akip and leaving the key in the lock.

Needless to say she wasn't/isn't happy. Starting to think it would have probably been better if I had died in my sleep and hadn't woke up all.
 
Reptilia said:
Fell asleep for three hours this afternoon, had locked the door and left the key in the lock. The reason this was stupid was our lass was on the other side of the door out in the car, and when she got home she couldn't get in for said three hours as a result of me being akip and leaving the key in the lock.

Needless to say she wasn't/isn't happy. Starting to think it would have probably been better if I had died in my sleep and hadn't woke up all.
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Well there's always tonight...
 
hank williams said:
Forgot to put my molble phone clock forward
Mind was still up at daft o clock :lol:
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EURIKA !

We've been sitting here all day trying to figure out why we were last at the Sunday Market this morning, when we're normally about the first.

Mind living here in the land that time forgot, it's not the sort of thing that quickly Springs to mind. :oops:
 
Eddie Hitler said:
After my dog took a dump whilst on walkies today, i thought my hand was fully in the poo bag but my little finger touched the shite as i was picking it up.

I feel dirty :(
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I've just been for a shite and had a poke through incident! :oops:

Reptilia said:
Fell asleep for three hours this afternoon, had locked the door and left the key in the lock. The reason this was stupid was our lass was on the other side of the door out in the car, and when she got home she couldn't get in for said three hours as a result of me being akip and leaving the key in the lock.

Needless to say she wasn't/isn't happy. Starting to think it would have probably been better if I had died in my sleep and hadn't woke up all.
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Did she not think about ringing the bell or owt like?
 
Got up, staggered to kettle, noticed mug needed cleaning, filled it with boiling water, picked up sponge and shoved hand into mug. Forgot to wait for it to cool first.

I now have a lobster where my right hand used to be.
 
Roker Mick said:
Came out of boozer tonite ...went over to my car ..pressed key fob...fcukin nowt...tried key in door ..fuckin nothing ...thought keys were mal functioning ..rang our lass to come and pick me up ...then twigged that I was standing beside a car similiar to mine ! Faaaark ,,rang her again ..luckily had not left ...wiped sweat orf brow and motored home !!
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Sound a bit pissed to be driving. Or is this a woosh?

Typhoonftm said:
I've just been for a shite and had a poke through incident! :oops:
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Never understand how anyone ever does this. Is it just me who used mammoth proportions of bog roll to the point if I don't block the toilet temporarily each visit its a bit of a miracle?
 
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