Strangest sayings you've heard?

[becs]

Well go to the foot of our stairs!

Said by Grandma who lived in a bungalow

 

[Kennington Kid]

My dad used to say "I hate part time drinkers, people who only drink when they are thirsty" and " difference between a good haircut and a bad one is about a fortnight "

 

[Bakerlooline]

Ya’ll split your difference. Same as this

meaning you’ll hurt yourself.

Splitting your difference is a bit more specific like. Meaning you will hurt a particular part of your body that is; your “difference“ being the difference between a male and a female.

 

[Big Duke Six]

Gan me length.

 

[WildTurkey]

'Eee, man alive' when my grandad used to look out the window. No-one outside, and nothing really happening

 

[AlpineExile]

'Eee, man alive' when my grandad used to look out the window. No-one outside, and nothing really happening

Sounds like he never quite got the hang of this glass stuff softies insisted on putting in their windows and so was always just surprised to see his own reflection.

 

[Eggman]

I can't remember all but over the years i have heard

Be wary of men who have a monobrow apart from women
Funny looking good bucking
Big hands big deal
A turkey lost at sea chicadoochajaree.

I’m sure there’s help out there for you

 

[Skandhaless]

The other day I heard "It sticks to it like shit to a blanket"

Thought it was odd but I'll take his word for it

Used it in the carpet trade in the early 70's .

 

[ighty seven]

one foot in the grave, one on a banana peel

 

[Son of Stan]

'Eee, man alive' when my grandad used to look out the window. No-one outside, and nothing really happening

My Dad used to say 'Man Alive' a lot. I've started to say it recently. I'm rather worried about this.
My Mam used to say 'San fairy Ann' - to mean it doesn't matter. Corruption of the French 'Ça ne fait rien' I believe.
Friend's Grandma used to say 'He's as gay as Dick's Hatband'. I remember looking it up years ago - something to do with Richard Cromwell. Or not. I can't remember.

 

[cornish mackem]

“He’ll nivver catch a pig in a passage”
Someone with bandy legs

 

[maygo]

“It fits where it touches”
Meaning something is too tight
Never understood the meaning behind it

 

[tonyfromalnwick]

Ah'll mek ye smile on the other side ov ya fyess.

 

[black-cat]

Smack barm pea wet

 

[The Onion Bag]

Hope your kids have dogs heads

 

[Deleted member 27423]

"who do you bank with!?" ....when questioning someones sanity

 

[Dan..Dan..Dan..Dan]

Me : What's for tea Nana?
Nana : Shit with sugar on the top.

 

[Gillythedilf]

Me -“Where is me mar gone?”

Ganny-“She’s ran away with a ginger blackie”

 

[Edinburgh Black Cat]

There are two things in the world that smell like fish, one of them is fish

 

[noodles]

I’m so hungry I could eat a scabby monkey fried in shite.