Discussion in 'SMB' started by Junior Birdman, Nov 6, 2018.
I can imagine. I've heard things about those coffee shops.
FFS ..... the dorty hewer! We use Osterley station to park up and train it into London whenever we go there, will have to be careful which seat we sit at now.
Having seen some of the bodies littering streets, it's quite alarming that people would want to to this.
Or bad that people would want to give someone something that would render them basically dead
Chance would be a fine thing.
Back when I used to get the train to work, there was once a bloke with the 4 seats around a table to himself , casually flicking through a porn mag as if it was a newspaper.
On a stag night in Shields a few years ago, the "stag" was dying for a shit in between pubs. We were telling him to stop being so daft and wait until the next pub but he said he was desperate. He nipped down a back lane, dropped his kegs and got onto his haunches. He was couched down in mid-curl when the double doors to the bingo suddenly burst open and all the old biddies spilled out into the lane around him.
Another time me and a mate were standing over the road from Chambers one Sunday night having just been in said establishment. The queue to get in was huge and the bouncers were making those queuing wait ages. One young lass at the front of the queue was screaming at the bouncer to let her in as she was dying for a piss. He told her to wait her turn but she said she couldn't. She got on her haunches at his feet, hoisted her kilt and pulled her knickers to one side and started having this huge, huge piss which seemed to last for ages. She looked like a lovely little garden water feature.
That has to be the bingo in the Denmark Centre? If so, I know exactly where your mate will have been
Dunno marra. It was a canny few years ago
It will have been I reckon mate. Talk about getting caught with your pants down!
Reminds me of years ago when I was a delivery driver for a while. On a dark night I was absolutely busting for a piss, forehead starting sweating the lot.
Pulled up to the house I was delivering at, saw it was pitch black in the lane at it's side, so grabbed the parcel and bolted for the wall at the side. As soon as I started pissing and feeling huge relief, a bus pulls up and about 8 people piled off about 10ft away from me to walk down the lane. A couple appeared on the opposite side and wall light was triggered and lit up the lane. I just stood facing the wall, terrified to turn around.
When they all walked past me, I turned and saw the couple going into the house I was delivering to. Fuck were they getting their parcel that day, straight back to the van and away as quick as possible.
During the night on a crossing on a main shopping street someone had somehow managed to curl out a huge walnut whip turn right on top of a tall bollard where people waited to cross. They must have been so tall or assisted to deposit it that high Was causing some constination to people waiting to cross the road
If that was Tunstall Road it was a mate of mine. Yes, he is statuesque.
It was actually Ashington main road and I think I know who it was also very tall. Unless your mate travels to commit such atrocities
He's not that keen.
Once sat in Costa in Aberdeen train station waiting by myself and bored out of my tits. It was pretty quiet and a woman sits a few tables away. A little bit later I just happened to look up exactly at the same time she did a comedy left/right check and sneaked the cup and saucer into her bag. Just as she thought she’d got away with it she saw me looking, called me a feckin arsehole, got up and left.
Classic offence is the best defence manoeuvre.
I’d have stood up and shouted thief.
Not me but a colleague sneezed and a massive greenie flew out and landed on this old posh French ladies arm. She noticed about 5 mins later, assumed it was hers and did a quick shuftie before sucking it off her sleeve.
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