Strange people you meet on holiday

  • Thread starter Deleted member 30853
  • Start date
foolzy said:
In Tenerife a couple of year back, got talking to a couple round the pool. Every day they'd wander over and chat, one day the woman just snapped with her fella in front of everyone.

They were strange as fuck, wanted to swap numbers so they could 'keep in touch after holiday'. Ever understood that, why would anyone swap numbers with some f***ing stranger that in reality you are never going to contact again?
Click to expand...

Nowt so funny as folk, especially in TF.
Met a fella who wanted me to buck his wife, but I didn’t fancy it.
Turned out he wasn’t up to it and my mate who had already serviced her twice, explained that the fella simply wanted to keep his Mrs happy by arranging much the same thing every year on holiday.
 


foolzy said:
In Tenerife a couple of year back, got talking to a couple round the pool. Every day they'd wander over and chat, one day the woman just snapped with her fella in front of everyone.

They were strange as fuck, wanted to swap numbers so they could 'keep in touch after holiday'. Ever understood that, why would anyone swap numbers with some f***ing stranger that in reality you are never going to contact again?
Click to expand...

When I finish a trip, bar a few e-mails to exchange a few photos I or other people failed to get, that's it. It's a case of move on and never the twain shall met again. Why would I want to maintain contact with people who have no influence on or input into my life?

The King of Um said:
Being pedantic, that's not a menage à trois, that's just a gay woman having an affair.

When I was eighteen I hitchhiked to Paris with my then girlfriend. We got picked up outside Calais by a British driver of a refrigerated medical supplies lorry who said he could take us part way, until he turned off onto his route to Italy. We had the usual round of tall stories from him, been in the services but didn't like to talk about it, that kind of thing. At some point on the autoroute, he turned off it and onto country roads because he said it was a 'short cut'. While we drove, he was telling us about how he was mugged the last time he was in Milan, lifted the cover of the box next to his seat, and showed us the massive fuck-off knife in there. Won't happen again, he said.

At this point we're in the middle of f***ing nowhere, with an odd man who owned a big knife. I did that thing where you start thinking about what you could use for a weapon.

And then after a little while, we turned back onto the autoroute, he drove us right out of his way to the outskirts of Paris, and then bought us breakfast before saying goodbye and heading off on his way. I felt a bit bad for having decided he was a serial killer.
Click to expand...

Class!!!

As regards my lesbians in China, I think one of them was "open" in her attitude to relationships. Sex and love to her had nothing to do with each other. If she fancied a woman away from her partner, she would try to shag them.

What the fuck would you call that? Polyamourous might be the modern term or swinger. It was a strange set-up.
 
Last edited by a moderator:
The woman I had a few days romance with, who somehow got hold of my home number and was ringing it at all hours for a good few weeks, usually pissed up, and even told the missus I had knocked her up. Canny lass her.
 
We didn't meet them as such, but there was a 'fighting couple' in Marrakesh with us who were frequently hilarious to watch. Mid sixties maybe, we were sat at the pool the first day when we heard 'YOU'VE DONE NOTHING BUT COMPLAIN FOR THE LAST FOUR DAYS' from round the corner and these two appear, faces like unmade beds. We'd caught them mid-day, when the early morning cease fire was fraying at the edges after lunch with wine. They'd get steadily more drunk through the day - I saw the bloke at dinner once and he was leaning at an impossible angle for a man of his shape, it was like watching Michael Jackson do that thing in the Smooth Criminal video. We never saw him say anything but maybe he couldn't get a word in amongst the constant haranguing. After a few days I felt like David Attenborough, observing the fighting couple in their natural habitat.
The absolute crippler though was one night when she was slumped over a table with a full drink in front of her. The husband rolled in, sat opposite her for a bit, presumably making sure she was asleep, then snaffled her drink in the manner of Indiana Jones with the idol, or Renton with the briefcase in Begbie's arms, and fucked off.

The next morning they'd be strolling about holding hands like love's young dream. Until the first drink, I assume.
 
Dagzd1973 said:
I was once followed around for a week by a gay hotel staff member that'd taken a shine to me on holiday. He was a really nice chap tbf, good with kids, friendly, just kept following me around the fkn weirdo. He'd come out to the pool, spot me lounging in my Ben Sherman shirt and bermuda shorts, then make a nonchalant beeline for me. My family would be sitting there whispering "look, here he comes" whilst laughing their tits off at me, twats. It got pretty uncomfortable by the end of the week, but still, he was canny and I gave him £50 as we left as a tip for being so good with the bairns all week.

Some of my family kept in touch with him on facey after we got home and he ended up getting drafted into the turkish army. He always asked how I was doing...
Click to expand...
That screams hush money.
I suppose you were on holiday.
 
OOOSH YEAH said:
Been on a couple of package holidays. Both times you’d see couples come down to sit on sunbeds all day. The bloke in a football top to attract like minded souls.

When another bloke in a football top comes down and goes to the bar the other one is over like a shot. It’s like watching embarrassed kids wanting to make mates on holiday.
Click to expand...
Which top did you have on?
 
SydneyFan said:
That screams hush money.
I suppose you were on holiday.
Click to expand...
:lol: You're not the first to suggest a sneaky holiday nosh had taken place.

Tbh, he was just great with the kids and we appreciated what he'd done for the week. He'd kept an eye on our lot above and beyond what his wages were paying for. Out of all the hotel reps he was the only one that would have a bit craic with the bairns and entertain them for 10 minutes. He was a nice lad, I just didn't enjoy being constantly flirted with by a gay lad.
 
We stayed in hotel in Limassol a few years ago as our daughter was working there and there was a very eccentric couple staying there that everyone laughed at. He would dress in a full Scottish outfit with kilt every night and push his mother in a wheelchair who was dressed like a Queen and wore a crown.
In the restaurant he would feed her nd everyone give them a wide berth. During the day he would push her round the pool singing musicals at the top of his voice, and he had a good voice.
I told our lass I had met crazier people than this on the SMB and was going to chat to him.
So I talked to him. He was crazy in an intelligent way. They lived in North London. His father who he worshipped had died five years previously. He owned five bedroomed villa in Limassol which needed a new roof etc and he was having his eyes taken out trying to get it repaired.
We invited them to dine with us. It wasnt nice TBH. His mother couldn't eat properly but he was being ridiculed so we made a stand. They dined with us every night.
Our daughter who had lived there for eight years introduced him to legit builders and his villa was restored. He cried when we left. He can't thank us enough. We are in touch but only by e mail. He is truly strange, worth a mint mind.
 
Malta last July, met a Scottish couple from Aberdeen, could understand her fine, but couldn't understand a word he said.

Anyway, one night towards end of week she had asked me about the girl I'd been taking out (barmaid from hotel), told her it was going canny, she asked if we could double date. Arranged it for next night and went for some scran at an italian. Food was amazing, drinks were flowing, but the problem was language barrier - lady I was with is Bulgarian but speaks English. She had trouble understanding me because if accent so I had to slow my speech right down. She couldn't understand the Scottish couple at all so I was translating a lot. Scottish lady found this funny that I had ended up a translator for 2 types of English - "foreign English" and "Scottish English".

Night went quite well considering, and we ended up at a club where we had a bit dance and shots and whatever else. Left there and made our way to hotel. Got to reception and before getting in the lift, the first time I could understand the Scottish chap he asked clear as day, 'why don't we swap for the night'.

Myself and lady friend (no) laughed, as did his lass. Before it became quite apparent he was serious....

His lass went f***ing MENTAL. Screaming and shouting at him, kicking up a right fuss. Security couldn't hold her and she decked one of them. Grabbed a vase and smashed it over his head, claret everywhere.

They both ended up arrested, but the bad side of it was, my lady friend lost her job after hotel interviewed her about the incident and sacked her for 'unauthorised guest relations'.

Said Scottish couple added me on FB week later. Messaged me to tell me it happens all the time and he likes to swing. She doesn't. God knows why. He's ugly as fuck and she was stunning.
 
peachbum said:
Lions can be gay then.
Click to expand...
The picture was taken from the Independent. Apparently, 8% of couplings male lions engage in are with other males. The photo was taken in the Masai Mara.

Apparently, one Kenyan official said that male lions engaging in gay sex must be copying human male homosexuals and should receive therapy as they should not be engaging in it.

I would love to see how therapy would be given to a hungry male lion. :lol:
 
Last edited by a moderator:

Back
Top