Stay at home Dads

[Nukehasslefan]

Rubbish, if the women wants a child? Does the bloke not get a say in this. Your pillow talk must be class.

Missus-should we have a kid.
You- yes you can love.

It’s a cop out for weak minded blokes, we have treated not just women but women we love like shit for years.
The only difference between a man and woman regarding children is the woman gives birth.
If you can’t bond with your newborn enough to give everything you hold sacred up well that’s a f***ing tragedy mate.
It’s sounds like you and gilly are trying to hold on to some sort of heterosexual manliness that inhibits you from being a real bloke.

You're entitled to your views and your way of thinking. I have zero issues with your strong approach to what you believe is the right way.
I'm telling it from my side and seeing it from my side.
It's got absolutely nothing to do with treating women like garbage, either.

Let's put this into context.
When we were younger, my now wife had said she couldn't wait to have kids. She couldn't wait to be a mother and to nurture them.
I agreed we should have kids.
She embraced the stay at home mum role. She thrived on bringing those kids up in that stay at home mum role because, although the stay at home mum role sounds demeaning, she didn't exactly stay at home. She was all over the place with her mum or my sisters or out with the pram and bairns.
Basically doing all kinds of stuff she loved and in between she'd look after the house and cook great meals. Not because she felt she had to but because she wanted to.

My kids are grown up. Their ages are 30, daughter, 28, son and 18, son.
10 years difference between the two lads and all of them were planned.
I went to graft and my wife did her work and nurturing through that time.
Now here's the key.
Once the kids grew up, she took a part time job. I was self employed by this time.
Sometimes I'd get in at 5 or 6 or 6 and even later o'clock and she'd have a meal ready for me.
There's plenty of times when I was off and right now that I have meals ready for her and I also clean the house, do the gardens and all the DIY.

She gets to do what she wants outside of her work. I never stand in her way.
What does she want to do?
She doesn't drink or smoke or anything but she does love to natter and generally to my daughter and friends if they come here. She's never been one for planting herself on others but is more than happy if people visit her, which many do.

There's no mistreating and in fact we have a home that many people comment on in terms of how we all go about stuff with ease and having a good laugh and such.
This is 100% truth. This is my life.

I see women now that send their kids off to anywhere so they can go to work. I hear the old " I want a career first and then kids" mindset.
I see men bringing up kids because the mother left. It's rare but I see it.
However, I see many single mothers bringing up their kids.

My son once said to me, " dad, I'm not joking but out of all my mates, me and two others have a mam and dad at home. The rest have their mother and their dads are hardly ever seen for them."

I think we can all relate to what I'm saying...or most, anyway.
If women want to be equal or have men be equal then let's wire us all up to the national grid and zap our brains to think exactly alike...because at this moment in time we are not alike and the roles for nurturing are clear to see. It's not about what should be or it's only fair and what not. The reality is, if a woman wants a family then she self employs, because she takes on work from that point as well as the joy of her nurturing, aided by the sidecar like actions of the man in her life to balance it all out.

This is just the way it was with me and the way I see stuff.
Feel free to have your input and to have any digs you like at me. I stand by what I say regardless but I respect any other views.

 

[the boot]

Because I work during the week. It was a different matter on a Friday or Saturday night. It was my turn then.

& of course it would be ok if she woke me for a buck. Just like it was ok if the child woke me on a Friday or Saturday night.

Hang ya head in shame Fred!! But I like your honesty always have.

 

[Slow joe]

Hang ya head in shame Fred!! But I like your honesty always have.

It is a bit nuts that. Would happily be woken up for a bit sex but no chance he's being woken up to feed his hungry kid.

 

[the boot]

You're entitled to your views and your way of thinking. I have zero issues with your strong approach to what you believe is the right way.
I'm telling it from my side and seeing it from my side.
It's got absolutely nothing to do with treating women like garbage, either.

Let's put this into context.
When we were younger, my now wife had said she couldn't wait to have kids. She couldn't wait to be a mother and to nurture them.
I agreed we should have kids.
She embraced the stay at home mum role. She thrived on bringing those kids up in that stay at home mum role because, although the stay at home mum role sounds demeaning, she didn't exactly stay at home. She was all over the place with her mum or my sisters or out with the pram and bairns.
Basically doing all kinds of stuff she loved and in between she'd look after the house and cook great meals. Not because she felt she had to but because she wanted to.

My kids are grown up. Their ages are 30, daughter, 28, son and 18, son.
10 years difference between the two lads and all of them were planned.
I went to graft and my wife did her work and nurturing through that time.
Now here's the key.
Once the kids grew up, she took a part time job. I was self employed by this time.
Sometimes I'd get in at 5 or 6 or 6 and even later o'clock and she'd have a meal ready for me.
There's plenty of times when I was off and right now that I have meals ready for her and I also clean the house, do the gardens and all the DIY.

She gets to do what she wants outside of her work. I never stand in her way.
What does she want to do?
She doesn't drink or smoke or anything but she does love to natter and generally to my daughter and friends if they come here. She's never been one for planting herself on others but is more than happy if people visit her, which many do.

There's no mistreating and in fact we have a home that many people comment on in terms of how we all go about stuff with ease and having a good laugh and such.
This is 100% truth. This is my life.

I see women now that send their kids off to anywhere so they can go to work. I hear the old " I want a career first and then kids" mindset.
I see men bringing up kids because the mother left. It's rare but I see it.
However, I see many single mothers bringing up their kids.

My son once said to me, " dad, I'm not joking but out of all my mates, me and two others have a mam and dad at home. The rest have their mother and their dads are hardly ever seen for them."

I think we can all relate to what I'm saying...or most, anyway.
If women want to be equal or have men be equal then let's wire us all up to the national grid and zap our brains to think exactly alike...because at this moment in time we are not alike and the roles for nurturing are clear to see. It's not about what should be or it's only fair and what not. The reality is, if a woman wants a family then she self employs, because she takes on work from that point as well as the joy of her nurturing, aided by the sidecar like actions of the man in her life to balance it all out.

This is just the way it was with me and the way I see stuff.
Feel free to have your input and to have any digs you like at me. I stand by what I say regardless but I respect any other views.

No it wasn’t a dig but how can you judge society and women from one point of perspective? Your wife was more than happy to do all of these things in return for you to provide the money so she could do it the way she wanted which is fine it’s a shared role and if it works that’s great.
Nowadays girls leave school and get a job/career and have more ambition in life than having kids and a husband as I’m sure you’re aware. Has your daughter got ambition To work and have a career or is she looking to marry and have kids early in life. Or looking to do both? Genuine question here mate as it’s a good marker I feel.

It is a bit nuts that. Would happily be woken up for a bit sex but no chance he's being woken up to feed his hungry kid.

He’s on a wind up joe surely.
Fred’s missus
“The house is on fire fred!!!! Wake up wake up!!!! Save the bairns fred!!!”

Fred
“what day is it”

 

[Gillythedilf]

You're entitled to your views and your way of thinking. I have zero issues with your strong approach to what you believe is the right way.
I'm telling it from my side and seeing it from my side.
It's got absolutely nothing to do with treating women like garbage, either.

Let's put this into context.
When we were younger, my now wife had said she couldn't wait to have kids. She couldn't wait to be a mother and to nurture them.
I agreed we should have kids.
She embraced the stay at home mum role. She thrived on bringing those kids up in that stay at home mum role because, although the stay at home mum role sounds demeaning, she didn't exactly stay at home. She was all over the place with her mum or my sisters or out with the pram and bairns.
Basically doing all kinds of stuff she loved and in between she'd look after the house and cook great meals. Not because she felt she had to but because she wanted to.

My kids are grown up. Their ages are 30, daughter, 28, son and 18, son.
10 years difference between the two lads and all of them were planned.
I went to graft and my wife did her work and nurturing through that time.
Now here's the key.
Once the kids grew up, she took a part time job. I was self employed by this time.
Sometimes I'd get in at 5 or 6 or 6 and even later o'clock and she'd have a meal ready for me.
There's plenty of times when I was off and right now that I have meals ready for her and I also clean the house, do the gardens and all the DIY.

She gets to do what she wants outside of her work. I never stand in her way.
What does she want to do?
She doesn't drink or smoke or anything but she does love to natter and generally to my daughter and friends if they come here. She's never been one for planting herself on others but is more than happy if people visit her, which many do.

There's no mistreating and in fact we have a home that many people comment on in terms of how we all go about stuff with ease and having a good laugh and such.
This is 100% truth. This is my life.

I see women now that send their kids off to anywhere so they can go to work. I hear the old " I want a career first and then kids" mindset.
I see men bringing up kids because the mother left. It's rare but I see it.
However, I see many single mothers bringing up their kids.

My son once said to me, " dad, I'm not joking but out of all my mates, me and two others have a mam and dad at home. The rest have their mother and their dads are hardly ever seen for them."

I think we can all relate to what I'm saying...or most, anyway.
If women want to be equal or have men be equal then let's wire us all up to the national grid and zap our brains to think exactly alike...because at this moment in time we are not alike and the roles for nurturing are clear to see. It's not about what should be or it's only fair and what not. The reality is, if a woman wants a family then she self employs, because she takes on work from that point as well as the joy of her nurturing, aided by the sidecar like actions of the man in her life to balance it all out.

This is just the way it was with me and the way I see stuff.
Feel free to have your input and to have any digs you like at me. I stand by what I say regardless but I respect any other views.

Should come natural to a woman to be a mother to a new born,never mind her career etc the bairns should come first career second or don't have them .

 

[Nukehasslefan]

I agree with you about kids of today. I know the way society has almost changed in its mindset of work/children and what not.
You see I can only argue from my stance on how my mind is hard wired from the early days up until how my marriage and home panned out.
As for my kids.
My eldest son has two boys with his wife. She actually goes to work as he does. He works odd hours and also work away at times.
She took on a full time job. They have plenty of money and in fact his job alone is paying 3 to 4 times the average wage of most workers (welder).
The kids are sent to the nana's....other nana's. She lives within walking distance of their home and school's.
The grandkids are 4 and 3 and have spent the majority of their time being passed backwards and forwards from mam to nana.
We get to see them on occasion when other nana feels she can allow it.
I know I know but what can you do?
As the saying goes...a son's a son till he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter all her life.

This means the daughter's parents win the day.

I've skewed a bit off track here.
Anyway my daughter-in-law is a good mother to those kids and my son is a good father. Those kids want for nothing and are two great kids. Well behaved (mostly lol) and all seems well.

However, I regularly see the strain it has on them both because although they use making money for the future as their reasoning for both working and passing the kids off, they tend to save little.
Why?
Because their lives revolve around takeaways and expensive clothing and stress bets and what not.

The nana should really be the privileged not the surrogate for the kids.
If a woman wants a careers and no kids. Go for it.
Any woman that says they want a career first and then kids....hmmm.... how long is a career?

My daughter is trying again for a baby. When (hopefully) she succeeds, she's giving up her work to be a mother to the baby whilst her husband goes to work.
When the baby is of school age, she may want to take on part-time work again but be there for the bairn.

Kids need role models. They need two role models in my opinion.
A kid that grows up only half knowing their parents is a kid that's not been given the full benefit of parenting.

Should come natural to a woman to be a mother to a new born,never mind her career etc the bairns should come first career second or don't have them .

Absolutely.

 

[the boot]

Should come natural to a woman to be a mother to a new born,never mind her career etc the bairns should come first career second or don't have them .

I’ve deleted it. Out of order.
But away man do your bit.

 

[Mackem00]

Good read this. Batshit mental mind.

 

[the boot]

I agree with you about kids of today. I know the way society has almost changed in its mindset of work/children and what not.
You see I can only argue from my stance on how my mind is hard wired from the early days up until how my marriage and home panned out.
As for my kids.
My eldest son has two boys with his wife. She actually goes to work as he does. He works odd hours and also work away at times.
She took on a full time job. They have plenty of money and in fact his job alone is paying 3 to 4 times the average wage of most workers (welder).
The kids are sent to the nana's....other nana's. She lives within walking distance of their home and school's.
The grandkids are 4 and 3 and have spent the majority of their time being passed backwards and forwards from mam to nana.
We get to see them on occasion when other nana feels she can allow it.
I know I know but what can you do?
As the saying goes...a son's a son till he takes a wife, a daughter's a daughter all her life.

This means the daughter's parents win the day.

I've skewed a bit off track here.
Anyway my daughter-in-law is a good mother to those kids and my son is a good father. Those kids want for nothing and are two great kids. Well behaved (mostly lol) and all seems well.

However, I regularly see the strain it has on them both because although they use making money for the future as their reasoning for both working and passing the kids off, they tend to save little.
Why?
Because their lives revolve around takeaways and expensive clothing and stress bets and what not.

The nana should really be the privileged not the surrogate for the kids.
If a woman wants a careers and no kids. Go for it.
Any woman that says they want a career first and then kids....hmmm.... how long is a career?

My daughter is trying again for a baby. When (hopefully) she succeeds, she's giving up her work to be a mother to the baby whilst her husband goes to work.
When the baby is of school age, she may want to take on part-time work again but be there for the bairn.

Kids need role models. They need two role models in my opinion.
A kid that grows up only half knowing their parents is a kid that's not been given the full benefit of parenting.

Absolutely.

I agree on most of your points tbf it’s just I don’t agree with the bloke is doing enough by going to work only. You and gilly are fixated on the women’s role in all of this whilst forgetting that the little bundles of joy are your bundles of joy too. Why wouldn’t you want to bring up the kids as much as the woman in your relationships. I’d be fuming if I never played an active roll in my kids nurturing and new lives. And il be honest it sounds like you are about your grand kids. You feel you are missing out over granny #1. Wait till they kids get older and they talk about their other nana all the time it’s gonna hurt mate. Don’t let it happen.

 

[Gillythedilf]

I’ve deleted it. Out of order.
But away man do your bit.

Never seen what you put ,anyway I’m at work now so I’ll visit this thread tonight when I get in .

Chow x

Good read this. Batshit mental mind.

Topper isn’t it

 

[the boot]

Never seen what you put ,anyway I’m at work now so I’ll visit this thread tonight when I get in .

Chow x

Topper isn’t it

No worries pal. Enjoy your day.

 

[Nukehasslefan]

I agree on most of your points tbf it’s just I don’t agree with the bloke is doing enough by going to work only. You and gilly are fixated on the women’s role in all of this whilst forgetting that the little bundles of joy are your bundles of joy too. Why wouldn’t you want to bring up the kids as much as the woman in your relationships. I’d be fuming if I never played an active roll in my kids nurturing and new lives. And il be honest it sounds like you are about your grand kids. You feel you are missing out over granny #1. Wait till they kids get older and they talk about their other nana all the time it’s gonna hurt mate. Don’t let it happen.

But that's just the thing, I did get the role of aiding in bringing the kids up.
I changed nappies. I fed the bairns when they were babies.
My wife only breast fed with one and it was my 18 year old lad. He ended up with allergies. Not sure whether it was down to breast feeding though. The other's don't have allergies. Well not like him.

I've skewed off again.
Anyway, back on track.

I got my mass amount of love in for the kids but my wife done the real nurturing. It just seemed natural to her and to me.
I don't feel I missed out with my kids. Obviously not all was perfect. I worked long hours and sometimes nights and obviously missed a fair bit but I also got plenty enough to satisfy my part with them from then and to this very day, with only my eldest son not being too much a part for obvious reasons.
He still comes to me when there's issues though.

As for the nana stuff, it hurts our lass right now and she regularly hints on at coming to get them for a day or so and it's generally all agreed.
Then guess what?
There's always some excuse made as to why she can't have them.
When there's nobody to have them on odd occasions, that's when our lass gets a call.
I ended up fuming over it at first but I've learned to accept it.

Our lass accepts it now but it still guts her.
It's a strange thing when you're the son's parent. It seems the daughter of the other parents gets to call all the shots and the mother of the daughter doing likewise.
However, if my daughter has a baby I'm sure our lass will be over protective and my daughter will massively favour her mother, so it's not really that surprising how this one turned out.

I'm sure many will relate to what I'm saying here.

And also, I know you think I'm fixated on it being a woman's role but I feel it's literally geared for that by natural means.
Both roles work in their own ways. One strength to another. It's all about apportioning what and where in general in terms of man/woman/baby relationships.

Having said all that my wife's just came in and managed to put me a big full English breakfast down with a big mug of tea, which is a feat in itself but she's managed that whilst balancing a full washing machine load of washing on her shoulder. I'll eat this and then sling my gear in the sink ready for her to wash up after she's sorted out the washing. Job done. That's team work.


Ok I'm just kidding on that bit in bold.
Just injecting a little bit of warped humour into it.

 

[Mackem00]

But that's just the thing, I did get the role of aiding in bringing the kids up.
I changed nappies. I fed the bairns when they were babies.
My wife only breast fed with one and it was my 18 year old lad. He ended up with allergies. Not sure whether it was down to breast feeding though. The other's don't have allergies. Well not like him.

I've skewed off again.
Anyway, back on track.

I got my mass amount of love in for the kids but my wife done the real nurturing. It just seemed natural to her and to me.
I don't feel I missed out with my kids. Obviously not all was perfect. I worked long hours and sometimes nights and obviously missed a fair bit but I also got plenty enough to satisfy my part with them from then and to this very day, with only my eldest son not being too much a part for obvious reasons.
He still comes to me when there's issues though.

As for the nana stuff, it hurts our lass right now and she regularly hints on at coming to get them for a day or so and it's generally all agreed.
Then guess what?
There's always some excuse made as to why she can't have them.
When there's nobody to have them on odd occasions, that's when our lass gets a call.
I ended up fuming over it at first but I've learned to accept it.

Our lass accepts it now but it still guts her.
It's a strange thing when you're the son's parent. It seems the daughter of the other parents gets to call all the shots and the mother of the daughter doing likewise.
However, if my daughter has a baby I'm sure our lass will be over protective and my daughter will massively favour her mother, so it's not really that surprising how this one turned out.

I'm sure many will relate to what I'm saying here.

And also, I know you think I'm fixated on it being a woman's role but I feel it's literally geared for that by natural means.
Both roles work in their own ways. One strength to another. It's all about apportioning what and where in general in terms of man/woman/baby relationships.

Having said all that my wife's just came in and managed to put me a big full English breakfast down with a big mug of tea, which is a feat in itself but she's managed that whilst balancing a full washing machine load of washing on her shoulder. I'll eat this and then sling my gear in the sink ready for her to wash up after she's sorted out the washing. Job done. That's team work.


Ok I'm just kidding on that bit in bold.
Just injecting a little bit of warped humour into it.

Is breast feeding your 18 year old a Geordie thing? Sounds a bit weird if I'm honest.

 

[Harry Angstrom]

I reckon loads of blokes push the on the tit method as thry are lazy arses who don't want to get out of bed to do night feeds.

Apart from being much much better for the child.

 

[Nukehasslefan]

Is breast feeding your 18 year old a Geordie thing? Sounds a bit weird if I'm honest.

I asked for that.

 

[the boot]

But that's just the thing, I did get the role of aiding in bringing the kids up.
I changed nappies. I fed the bairns when they were babies.
My wife only breast fed with one and it was my 18 year old lad. He ended up with allergies. Not sure whether it was down to breast feeding though. The other's don't have allergies. Well not like him.

I've skewed off again.
Anyway, back on track.

I got my mass amount of love in for the kids but my wife done the real nurturing. It just seemed natural to her and to me.
I don't feel I missed out with my kids. Obviously not all was perfect. I worked long hours and sometimes nights and obviously missed a fair bit but I also got plenty enough to satisfy my part with them from then and to this very day, with only my eldest son not being too much a part for obvious reasons.
He still comes to me when there's issues though.

As for the nana stuff, it hurts our lass right now and she regularly hints on at coming to get them for a day or so and it's generally all agreed.
Then guess what?
There's always some excuse made as to why she can't have them.
When there's nobody to have them on odd occasions, that's when our lass gets a call.
I ended up fuming over it at first but I've learned to accept it.

Our lass accepts it now but it still guts her.
It's a strange thing when you're the son's parent. It seems the daughter of the other parents gets to call all the shots and the mother of the daughter doing likewise.
However, if my daughter has a baby I'm sure our lass will be over protective and my daughter will massively favour her mother, so it's not really that surprising how this one turned out.

I'm sure many will relate to what I'm saying here.

And also, I know you think I'm fixated on it being a woman's role but I feel it's literally geared for that by natural means.
Both roles work in their own ways. One strength to another. It's all about apportioning what and where in general in terms of man/woman/baby relationships.

Having said all that my wife's just came in and managed to put me a big full English breakfast down with a big mug of tea, which is a feat in itself but she's managed that whilst balancing a full washing machine load of washing on her shoulder. I'll eat this and then sling my gear in the sink ready for her to wash up after she's sorted out the washing. Job done. That's team work.


Ok I'm just kidding on that bit in bold.
Just injecting a little bit of warped humour into it.

Fair dos mate.
You a gilly are talking about two totally different things here mind.
Can I ask you do you show your love to your wife by wearing a wedding ring? As I know @Gillythedilf loves this symbol of togetherness.

 

[Nukehasslefan]

Fair dos mate.
You a gilly are talking about two totally different things here mind.
Can I ask you do you show your love to your wife by wearing a wedding ring? As I know @Gillythedilf loves this symbol of togetherness.

I don't wear a wedding ring. I don't wear any jewelry at all, not even a watch. I have had plenty of watches bought for me over the years but wear them for a small amount of time and put them away. They're nothing expensive but special because they were bought for me.

I don't need a wedding ring to show my love for my wife.
Many men like a wedding ring, many don't. I don't think jewelry shows love. I think genuine affection and being together and helping each other, shows love.

 

[dangermows]

Good read this. Batshit mental mind.

Gilly playing the starring role!

Apart from being much much better for the child.

Apparently so. Mind I know plenty who just went on the bottle, can't say I've noticed any difference. And if that's the approach the bloke should sometimes get up and support the mother as opposed to her getting up during the night, every night, on her one, whilst he's snoring his fat arse off.

I agree on most of your points tbf it’s just I don’t agree with the bloke is doing enough by going to work only. You and gilly are fixated on the women’s role in all of this whilst forgetting that the little bundles of joy are your bundles of joy too. Why wouldn’t you want to bring up the kids as much as the woman in your relationships. I’d be fuming if I never played an active roll in my kids nurturing and new lives. And il be honest it sounds like you are about your grand kids. You feel you are missing out over granny #1. Wait till they kids get older and they talk about their other nana all the time it’s gonna hurt mate. Don’t let it happen.

Tbf Gilly said he regrets not helping to raise his bairns. If he had he wouldn't have thought they were cyborgs!

 

[Harry Angstrom]

Apparently so. Mind I know plenty who just went on the bottle, can't say I've noticed any difference. And if that's the approach the bloke should sometimes get up and support the mother as opposed to her getting up during the night, every night, on her one, whilst he's snoring his fat arse off.

Millions of years of evolution v Proctor & Gamble.
I'd play safe. Blokes can feed the kids in the night if women express the milk.

 

[Tommasi]

Millions of years of evolution v Proctor & Gamble.
I'd play safe. Blokes can feed the kids in the night if women express the milk.

Some lasses can't express and they beat themselves up massively that they can't breast feed. When you couple it with post natal depression it can be a very bad mix. I think people need to back off with the anti bottle stuff personally.