Silly/embarrassing things your kid have said or done.

We got on the bus and while I was paying, the youngest son went and sat in the 'special' seats up the front. I went and sat in the normal seats and called him to come. He wanted to know why he couldn't sit where he was. "Those seats are for elderly and disabled people" I told him.


"Well, YOU'RE elderly!" he said at top volume.

I could hear all the rest of the bus tittering behind me.
 


Back in the 80’s we were on holiday in Wales atSaundersfoot beach. My 5 year old son wanted a digital watch so we got him one at a nearby shop, a black one with a car picture on the front.
Back at the hotel that night we found he had got water in it and the display was all over the place. I took it to bits, dried it out and reassembled it but to no avail as the display was still goosed.
Next day back at the beach we returned to the shop where I explained to the shopkeeper that the watch was faulty or the battery was going. No problem he would exchange it but only had a blue one with a car on it. My son was a bit unsure about it so I put it on his wrist and said it was as good as the black one.
“Yes dad it is” he said “and I won’t go in the sea with this one”.
Sharp exit.
 
Ludwig said:
Several years ago when I was working for a merchandising company I was working in a Tesco ( in the midlands)very close to the check outs , a young woman with a toddler sitting in the trolley was having her groceries scanned the toda little girl was very excited about her mums new car as she shouted out “ my mummy’s got a big red vulva “ the young lady was horrified and started trying to explain she had Just got a new Volvo which was red :oops::lol:
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:lol:
 
Packed pub to meet family and friends about 20 plus waiting.
Me as usual last one there so my son (about 5 at the time) comes running up to me with everyone watching and punches me square in the nuts.
Me totally pretending "that didn't hurt"!
 
Some nice @_dhotya on here

Junior Birdman said:
Apparently when I was a bairn my older sister took me out for the day. We were on the bus and a large lady was in front of us. I pointed and loudly said "Why's that lady so fat?"

Everyone heard.
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Surely your kid knows not to say stuff like that in ear shot?

I’d like to think my kids knew what they couldnt openly say in public from a young age.

Although my one did quietly say when a Sikh went past (not loudly at all) “that man has a breadbun on his head”. He’d know not to say it in earshot of the bloke mind?
 
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VXi said:
Packed pub to meet family and friends about 20 plus waiting.
Me as usual last one there so my son (about 5 at the time) comes running up to me with everyone watching and punches me square in the nuts.
Me totally pretending "that didn't hurt"!
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Our neighbour’s kid gans on like that. I’ve been saying for ages he’s a future serial killer. I’d sleep with one eye open if I were you.
We’re invited over there tonight coz it’s his birthday. Can’t wait to see what the combination of him and a sugary birthday cake filled with E numbers results in.
 
Shouting "it's the Dark Destroyer" at a black man who got in the same lift as us, to be fair, the bairn loved The Chase, and he was only 3.
Just this weekend we were in a caravan down blackpool, the neighbours (Black family) pull up and park, the bairn leans out of the caravan window and points shouting "Black Skys", skys sounded like guys.. (weather was hoying down)
There's a theme here
 
1st my two oldest, 3 &5 at the time in Sainsbury's Silksworth both grabbed two huge cucumbers, one random woman "Is that your spaceship"
"No, its my big Charlie" he replied.

2nd in the queue for the Bank one Saturday morning we were standing behind a huge woman and my oldest said, " Dad, that woman stinks"
I said, " No son it's from outside"
He sniffed and said " No dad, its her, she really does stink"
 
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Mackem DJ said:
Some nice @_dhotya on here


Surely your kid knows not to say stuff like that in ear shot?

I’d like to think my kids knew what they couldnt openly say in public from a young age.

Although my one did quietly say when a Sikh went past (not loudly at all) “that man has a breadbun on his head”. He’d know not to say it in earshot of the bloke mind?
Click to expand...
Read it again. It was me who said it when I was a kid.
 
We were out getting out food shopping once, our son was sat in the trolley, when at the top of his voice he yelled "I f***ing LOVE TESCO'S".

Loads of people heard. I've never been so embarrassed. I immediately told him off and explained it's "Tesco" and not "Tesco's".
 
We were in blockbusters video years ago looking for advd to rent when the bairn who was only about maybes 5 year old ran upto us in the middle of a shop with a dvd he wanted to rent shouting 'dad, dad download this'

Another time we went to the cinema to see spongebob movie and the bairn said to the women at the till, 'we tried to watch it at home but it was a crap copy'

Lately my 4 year old has been telling people 'dad has poorly peanuts', Ive just had a vasectomy.
😂
 
Years ago when my daughter was about 4 (she's coming up 31) my wife had a provvy loan on. This time around she didn't have the money to pay the provvy man, so she got the bairn to hide in the cupboard in the back room until he'd gone just in case he started looking through windows.
The next week the man comes round again and this time our lass answers the door with the bairn.
He said: " I came last week but there was nobody home" and the bairn piped up with " we were at home, we were hiding in the cupboard, weren't we mam."
Our lass said she wanted the world to swallow her up. :lol:
 
It wasn’t either of my own kids, it was me.

Back when I was about 5 or 6, my mum was waiting for a delivery. Sod’s law struck and she was in the toilet when the delivery came. I was told to answer the door and tell him she would be down in a second.

“She won’t be long, she’s just in the toilet doing a poo!”
 

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