Silly/embarrassing things your kid have said or done.

Was standing looking at DVDs in Asda with the bairn sitting in the seat in the trolley and he started shouting look dad there's Mr Bean. Turns round to see he wasn't talking about a DVD, but was pointing straight at a bloke standing next to us who didn't seem to impressed. He did actually look like him as well 😁
 


Ever since my little girl was eating solids, she would ask for some of whatever I was eating whilst I was sat watching the TV. This was usually cheese/chorizo/pate. Occasionally I would eat pistachios - the unshelled variety. She would ask for them but I would not let her have some - due to the risk of allergies. I would have a bowl of pistachios and a second bowl to my side to place the empty shells in. She would sneak up to the side and steal a shell and then lick the salted taste from them before I could take them from her. Years later, when she was six - we were shopping in Sainsbury’s and she suddenly announced at the the top of her voice - “Daddy, do you remember when I used to suck your nuts”
 
This wasn't embarrassing as such since only my wife and I heard it, but was mortifying and hilarious in equal measure.

I was entering a Lidl car park which was 99 percent full, except for a single parent and child space directly ahead of me. However, someone was backing out of a space, blocking me from getting to it. The twat took an age to reverse out, by which point someone else had driven the whole way around the car park and secured 'my' space which I could easily have had, if he hadn't taken two minutes to reverse out!

Anyway, I am prone to swearing and gesticulating at twattish drivers, but since our 3 year old son was in the back, I managed to refrain, but just as I curbed my expletives, from the back seat I suddenly heard him scream at the top of his lungs: 'You f***ing bellend!!' The bairn was leaning fully forward in his seat, veins in his head bulging and furious looking!

Like I said, I felt partly mortified, partly proud and couldn't help pissing myself laughing 😅😁
 
Oldest son was mascot for Newcastle away at Bolton, a good few years ago, Sir Bobby Robson was manager at the time and made sure we were well looked after and the bairn got all the autographs and photographs with the players and management, Sir Bobby made a real fuss of him.
We'd just about finished in the dressing room and Sir Bobby is talking to the bairn and he asks if hes got all the pics and autographs he wanted, the bairn pipes up and says "the only one I haven't got is Shola's" to which Sir Bobby asks the dressing room to be quiet and explains to the bairn that Shola is over there and just to go over and ask him, the bairn thanked Sir Bobby and walked straight over to Titus Bramble and said "Hi Shola can I have my picture taken with you"......the dressing room couldn't stop laughing, including Ameobi and Bramble....
Nearly stopped at mascot for Newcastle ..pleased I didn't ...brilliant story
 

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