Random and odd tales...

Keith S30S

Inside right
Staff member
It's Xmas, many of us are off work so why not. Possibly end up in the Pasnip but I'll start as I don't think I've told this story before...

Half a dozen or so years ago they were opening a memorial wall at the Burden Road side of Mowbray Park. It was for local lads and lasses who had died in the service of their country out of conflict. My uncle Colin died in a submarine explosion in 1955 and had his name on the wall so me, my Dad (his brother) and Mam attended the opening, in the disabled seats as my Mam is in a chair.

After a few minutes this bloke, mid fifties or early sixties with typical forces moustache, dressed in a beret, green blazer with medals, with a pronounced limp and walking stick sat next to me. Mid service he leant across and whispered, if any little toerags vandalise this memorial they should be hung! I said, I sure they won't, they'll show respect. He replied, I hope so but I'm not so sure and they should be hung if they do damage it. The service ended, we left in my Dad's car and I was telling them the tale laughing at what this old boy had said and pretty much forgot about it.

A couple of days later I was out for a lad at works 50th birthday and we went into Greens around last orders. I commented to the lads that I was about the youngest in there, very much a grab a granny night. I went to walk towards the bogs and opposite the bar there was this old bloke in a flowery shirt standing on either a chair or a table vigerously fist pumping and dancing. Then I recognised his very distinctive moustache. No sign of his limp or walking stick :)

I thought that blazer seemed a bit thick, I wonder if it was from a charity shop, along with the medals...
 


My friend's Mam, for some unknown reason, decided that it would be lovely if when they all got up on Christmas morning, Santa was still there to help them unwrap their presents. She contacted some agency who supply Santas and arranged for a Santa to call on Christmas morning.

Unfortunately the agency she rang suppy Santa strippergrams. A black lad turned up on Christmas morning, still drunk and disheveled from stripping all night, missing his beard and expecting to strip again. He was most amused at being ushered into the sitting room and expected to open presents with small children.

In December, she always changes her Facebook picture to her as a little girl with the drunk beardless Santa. It's like a weird tradition making us giggle every year reading the story again.
 
I can't help thinking here of the story of the two empty seats in St. James's Park in and otherwise full section of the ground.

A bloke and his son turned up first game after Christmas. It turned out his wife had bought season tickets for them and decided it would be a lovely surprise to keep them back as a Christmas present.

She apparently never realised her gaff as the bloke and his son decided not to tell her that her gesture had meant they missed half the season and not spoil her Chrismas. As far as I know, she still thinks it was a great idea and a lovely Christmas Day surprise.
 
I can't help thinking here of the story of the two empty seats in St. James's Park in and otherwise full section of the ground.

A bloke and his son turned up first game after Christmas. It turned out his wife had bought season tickets for them and decided it would be a lovely surprise to keep them back as a Christmas present.

She apparently never realised her gaff as the bloke and his son decided not to tell her that her gesture had meant they missed half the season and not spoil her Chrismas. As far as I know, she still thinks it was a great idea and a lovely Christmas Day surprise.
Thick mag bint ! :D
 
Thick mag bint ! :D

But in her ignorance, she might have hit on a marketing ploy football clubs could use for empty seats.

Christmas to Christmas season tickets. It might not work where grounds are sell outs though.

The other thing is she could have thought it through and just bought half-season tickets for them both. That said, if she got the above wrong the what hope is there of any common sense.
 
But in her ignorance, she might have hit on a marketing ploy football clubs could use for empty seats.

Christmas to Christmas season tickets. It might not work where grounds are sell outs though.

The other thing is she could have thought it through and just bought half-season tickets for them both though.
Well I have heard some dopey ideas on here but you win the Christmas cracker :D
 
My friend's Mam, for some unknown reason, decided that it would be lovely if when they all got up on Christmas morning, Santa was still there to help them unwrap their presents. She contacted some agency who supply Santas and arranged for a Santa to call on Christmas morning.

Unfortunately the agency she rang suppy Santa strippergrams. A black lad turned up on Christmas morning, still drunk and disheveled from stripping all night, missing his beard and expecting to strip again. He was most amused at being ushered into the sitting room and expected to open presents with small children.

In December, she always changes her Facebook picture to her as a little girl with the drunk beardless Santa. It's like a weird tradition making us giggle every year reading the story again.

:lol::lol:
 
My missus (noooooo) when she was younger worked in a Peterlee clothing factory.
A couple of months ago she strangely had a dream that included an older woman that also worked there but she hadn't seen since she left about 35 years previously.
They were not mates so she could not think of any reason why the other woman should be recalled in a dream.
The following day I dropped her off at Peterlee Asda to do the weekly shop and my missus thought that if she was to see the woman it would be eerie.
Anyway eventually she filled her trolley and headed to the till.
Nearly finished and just about to pay she turned as the next customer started to unload her stuff and yes it was the woman in her dream.
I returned, parked up and helped her to load the shopping into the boot.
In the car she was telling me the tale when the other women appeared again and started to unload her shopping into the car I had parked next to!
 

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