Pub Bog Doors



What used to be Ruperts Club in Shields is under ground level, and apparently also under main sewer level. I don't know how the bogs there got the foul water up to the sewer, maybe a pump with a one-way trap or something, but every now and the the drains would "burp" and a load of sewage would flow backwards into the bogs. Imagine being sat curling one off when that happened! :eek::eek::lol::lol:
 
What A Waster said:
Beehive bogs are dreadful. Had a crap in there as well. You can smell them from that far end of the bar the stench oozing out turning your beer flat. They used to be alright in about 2001 like.

Ricks next door and the old george aren't up to much either.

Special mention for The Star on westgate road, which often has no toilet doors or toilet seats.
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‘Best’ ones in the Old George at least last time I was in are the ones on the ground floor and to the left. Top floor ones weren’t great and once there’s more than two people in the bogs it’s packed so you have an audience waiting.

Top floor Unions Rooms toilets are decent but they don’t beat upstairs in The Isis in Sunderland. They aren’t even cubicles they’re individual walled in rooms, all that’s missing is a shower and it would be like having your own bathroom.
 
About 20 years ago I had the shits in Marmaris, Turkey and the next day was on a long coach ride to Ephesus, still with said trots. About 90 mins into the journey we pulled into a service station and I legged it to the bogs ahead of everyone. Ran into the one and only trap and there it was, just a hole in the ground.

With some careful manoeuvring so as not to shit in my shorts that I'd dropped round my ankles, I deposited what can only be described as a large chicken curry style turd - and missed the hole. It lay there, like my insides had come away, not wanting to slide into the abyss. I looked under the bog door to see a forest of legs as the rest of my fellow travellers queued up to make their own contribution to the Turkish sewer system. Panicking, I noticed a 6" hose connected to a small tap by the bog wall and spent another 5 minutes trying to squirt my crappage down the hole, alas only succeeding in scuttling it across my Reeboks.

I sheepishly exited the trap and spent another 90 minutes on the bus praying my bowels would last long enough to reach the next luxury Turkish latrine on our journey. The road to hell.
 
DJP said:
About 20 years ago I had the shits in Marmaris, Turkey and the next day was on a long coach ride to Ephesus, still with said trots. About 90 mins into the journey we pulled into a service station and I legged it to the bogs ahead of everyone. Ran into the one and only trap and there it was, just a hole in the ground.

With some careful manoeuvring so as not to shit in my shorts that I'd dropped round my ankles, I deposited what can only be described as a large chicken curry style turd - and missed the hole. It lay there, like my insides had come away, not wanting to slide into the abyss. I looked under the bog door to see a forest of legs as the rest of my fellow travellers queued up to make their own contribution to the Turkish sewer system. Panicking, I noticed a 6" hose connected to a small tap by the bog wall and spent another 5 minutes trying to squirt my crappage down the hole, alas only succeeding in scuttling it across my Reeboks.

I sheepishly exited the trap and spent another 90 minutes on the bus praying my bowels would last long enough to reach the next luxury Turkish latrine on our journey. The road to hell.
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The old Turkish Bidet :D
 
Needed a shite when i was on the lash in Sunderland, was in Innfusion, decided to hop on the bus home, had a shit and back to town all within 15 minutes. :cool:
 
Telt this tale before.

I was about 17 n ill off the drink from the Wesley, Hartlepool.

Having a shite in the brewery trap on the saturday morning, hoping to expel my demons before the match.

Was somehow intrigued by a window opened with a brick wall behind. Wiped my arse n stuck my head out the window. About half an inch from my face were a pair of white y fronts hanging on a nail, chocca with shit.

Took a few more pints for that hangover to feck off!
 
muggboots said:
Bucking him roughly?
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Nah.

Was standing having a piss at the urinal when a lass came in and started banging on the door of one of the traps. I finished up and asked her what's wrong. She said her friend was in the trap and he'd fallen asleep. She wanted to borrow a ten pence piece to open the lock to let him out. I didn't have one but suggested I could open the door by precision kicking it just hard enough to shake the bolt free.

Needless to say, I applied a little too much kicking force as the hinges of the door gave way. The rest happened in slow motion: the door slipped down, the bolt popped out of the jamb and then the whole door sailed down towards the toilet where the lad was sat asleep. When I heard the horrible howl and groan from the lad, I remembered that you usually find a coat hook on the back of the door. The girls started screaming and tried to lift the door off him. Ever the gentleman, I made a sharp exit, back to the bar to finish my pint.

After that, I left the pub to find this lad sitting on the pavement outside with a towel wrapped round his head and the girl saying "It's OK, the ambulance is coming".
 
MackemBob said:
Nah.

Was standing having a piss at the urinal when a lass came in and started banging on the door of one of the traps. I finished up and asked her what's wrong. She said her friend was in the trap and he'd fallen asleep. She wanted to borrow a ten pence piece to open the lock to let him out. I didn't have one but suggested I could open the door by precision kicking it just hard enough to shake the bolt free.

Needless to say, I applied a little too much kicking force as the hinges of the door gave way. The rest happened in slow motion: the door slipped down, the bolt popped out of the jamb and then the whole door sailed down towards the toilet where the lad was sat asleep. When I heard the horrible howl and groan from the lad, I remembered that you usually find a coat hook on the back of the door. The girls started screaming and tried to lift the door off him. Ever the gentleman, I made a sharp exit, back to the bar to finish my pint.

After that, I left the pub to find this lad sitting on the pavement outside with a towel wrapped round his head and the girl saying "It's OK, the ambulance is coming".
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:lol:
 
What A Waster said:
Anybody who's ever used pills or a bit sniff know that inevitably you'll need to go to the toilet to drop one as the gear kicks in.
So really when you've gotta go, you just have to play the hand you're dealt.





This is correct.
Stink of damp foist/blocked drains, always condensation on the tiles, the smell is awful, and they'r not clean at all. I've had the pleasure of popping in there several times.
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First bump always clears me out. It's got to the point though that the anticipation makes me shit, I don't even need a blast :lol:
 

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