PTSD help (possibly)

Overall I am in a far better place than three years ago, though I still have tough periods. I learned that they pass though, which has been vital. I used to just feel helpless and trapped so anything now is a big improvement and I think I have more good than bad days

I am having to unlearn a lot of black and white / all or nothing thinking. The notion of happiness is one of those things I used to think you either always are or always are not and despaired at not being. Whereas now it seems to me like it's on a wave of ups and downs and that is ok.

How are you finding things?

Really good to hear marra. Hopefully that improvement continues as gradually or rapidly as is suitable and you end up in a place beyond your wildest optimism 👍

I'm good ta, I've never suffered PTSD afaik, a few things have been pretty formative and not in a good way but overall I think I've come through things fairly unscarred for which I'm very grateful and always in awe of people who manage to get through incredible hardship
 


You're a character that clearly revels in being bombastic and faux-mystic. Speaks volumes.

You've offered no practical help, just waffle and nonsense wrapped up in waffle, that's why we'll never be friends.

People on the depression thread offer practical advice and experience, not bombastic waffle.
The last sentence in the opening post is a crucial part of healing from trauma. It could at least get people thinking, though it needs more information - it's not something that is advisable without other actions and support in my opinion.
 
It's great you got help as it's very hard to get NHS help. I went through 3 times. Counseling, CBT and CAT. It's hard to get anything higher level than CBT as it's cheap and clears waiting lists. I am fortunate in that I can afford private therapy and found a therapist first time who is fantastic.

I got CBT but it didn't work. We didn't really talk about the trauma that happened during domestic violence or anything about my past. He just seemed keen on finding problems in the present and working out solutions to fix them.

The most random one was I'd had to fill in a diary every hour for a week writing down what I was doing. I usually have a sit down late afternoon before cooking our tea. This is important as I went through the "I won't let this illness win" phase and burnt myself out several times by doing too much. It took me a very long time to accept I have a chronic illness and I have to work with my body and not feel guilty for having rest time.

Then he was talking about my crohns and asking how I cope with juggling work, housework etc. In the course of that conversation, I said that I need rest times during the day and I told him I prioritise housework into three categories. Things that are essential like cleaning the kitchen benches and the bathroom. If they don't get done it's putting our health at risk from germs so I always make an effort and keep on top of that. Next category is things that I can let slide for a few days. If I don't hoover or dust for a few days until I feel better, it's not the end of the world. Then things that can be left as they're not harming anyone, like cleaning the windows or washing dog mud prints off the hall walls.

For some reason, he became fixated with the windows. He told me that I should utilise the sitting down time and my homework was to clean one window per day every afternoon, so by the next call, I should have done most of the windows in my house. He just wouldn't accept that the windows are not bothering me at all and I need that rest time.

I'm still not really sure why having clean windows would help with trauma caused from abuse in the past either 🤷‍♀️

The CBT ended abruptly as he suddenly decided I was better and discharged me.

I don't feel learned anything from it. I still get triggered by things that cause memories of the abuse which causes me to spiral into negative thoughts, and I'm still wary of getting into a relationship with another man, so I'm no further forward really.
 
I got CBT but it didn't work. We didn't really talk about the trauma that happened during domestic violence or anything about my past. He just seemed keen on finding problems in the present and working out solutions to fix them.

The most random one was I'd had to fill in a diary every hour for a week writing down what I was doing. I usually have a sit down late afternoon before cooking our tea. This is important as I went through the "I won't let this illness win" phase and burnt myself out several times by doing too much. It took me a very long time to accept I have a chronic illness and I have to work with my body and not feel guilty for having rest time.

Then he was talking about my crohns and asking how I cope with juggling work, housework etc. In the course of that conversation, I said that I need rest times during the day and I told him I prioritise housework into three categories. Things that are essential like cleaning the kitchen benches and the bathroom. If they don't get done it's putting our health at risk from germs so I always make an effort and keep on top of that. Next category is things that I can let slide for a few days. If I don't hoover or dust for a few days until I feel better, it's not the end of the world. Then things that can be left as they're not harming anyone, like cleaning the windows or washing dog mud prints off the hall walls.

For some reason, he became fixated with the windows. He told me that I should utilise the sitting down time and my homework was to clean one window per day every afternoon, so by the next call, I should have done most of the windows in my house. He just wouldn't accept that the windows are not bothering me at all and I need that rest time.

I'm still not really sure why having clean windows would help with trauma caused from abuse in the past either 🤷‍♀️

The CBT ended abruptly as he suddenly decided I was better and discharged me.

I don't feel learned anything from it. I still get triggered by things that cause memories of the abuse which causes me to spiral into negative thoughts, and I'm still wary of getting into a relationship with another man, so I'm no further forward really.

It's always frustrating to hear when people have bad experiences with counselling as it should be a life changing process (in a good way!) but there's so many different forms of therapy and mainly better or worse practisers of it, as well as just on a personal level people you click with or don't that it's kind of a lottery really.

I suppose it's the same every time you interact with anyone in a professional or personal setting, but it seems especially cruel when someone has been brave enough to be vulnerable about their needs and be confronted with a really bad example of counselling... And go through the whole process of it multiple times in the hope of getting some worthwhile help eventually
 
Everyone's different like but avoidance is rarely the best long term solution. But everyone's limits of how much and how quickly they can accept and process pain/grief/etc is different and it's a balancing act getting that right
Agree ,so no 1 step fix
 
@becs I'm sorry you went through that and the service you received was totally unhelpful for you. If you are in a place to seek help again, maybe you could ask at the outset for a referral to a trauma informed professional.

There are a number of books that are good for trauma. Complex PTSD by Pete Walker is one of them and it really helped me understand myself and trauma responses.
 
@becs I'm sorry you went through that and the service you received was totally unhelpful for you. If you are in a place to seek help again, maybe you could ask at the outset for a referral to a trauma informed professional.

There are a number of books that are good for trauma. Complex PTSD by Pete Walker is one of them and it really helped me understand myself and trauma responses.

I specifically asked for trauma help but the man said he felt I didn't need it 🤷‍♀️

I'll look for that book. Thank you xx
 
I got CBT but it didn't work. We didn't really talk about the trauma that happened during domestic violence or anything about my past. He just seemed keen on finding problems in the present and working out solutions to fix them.

The most random one was I'd had to fill in a diary every hour for a week writing down what I was doing. I usually have a sit down late afternoon before cooking our tea. This is important as I went through the "I won't let this illness win" phase and burnt myself out several times by doing too much. It took me a very long time to accept I have a chronic illness and I have to work with my body and not feel guilty for having rest time.

Then he was talking about my crohns and asking how I cope with juggling work, housework etc. In the course of that conversation, I said that I need rest times during the day and I told him I prioritise housework into three categories. Things that are essential like cleaning the kitchen benches and the bathroom. If they don't get done it's putting our health at risk from germs so I always make an effort and keep on top of that. Next category is things that I can let slide for a few days. If I don't hoover or dust for a few days until I feel better, it's not the end of the world. Then things that can be left as they're not harming anyone, like cleaning the windows or washing dog mud prints off the hall walls.

For some reason, he became fixated with the windows. He told me that I should utilise the sitting down time and my homework was to clean one window per day every afternoon, so by the next call, I should have done most of the windows in my house. He just wouldn't accept that the windows are not bothering me at all and I need that rest time.

I'm still not really sure why having clean windows would help with trauma caused from abuse in the past either 🤷‍♀️

The CBT ended abruptly as he suddenly decided I was better and discharged me.

I don't feel learned anything from it. I still get triggered by things that cause memories of the abuse which causes me to spiral into negative thoughts, and I'm still wary of getting into a relationship with another man, so I'm no further forward really.

I had two courses of CBT, the second was far better than the first, as I really clicked with the person, they then went on to do some EMDR sessions which have been absolutely life changing, if not hard work at the time.
 
I specifically asked for trauma help but the man said he felt I didn't need it 🤷‍♀️

I'll look for that book. Thank you xx
Was this at the GP stage, or the original assessment? I would maybe ask at the GP stage as it cuts out going to people unprepared for your needs.
I had two courses of CBT, the second was far better than the first, as I really clicked with the person, they then went on to do some EMDR sessions which have been absolutely life changing, if not hard work at the time.
EMDR is in my mind to try one day. Do you need many sessions?
 
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Was this at the GP stage, or the original assessment? I would maybe ask at the GP stage as it cuts out going to people unprepared for your needs.

GP referred me to the provider. I had an initial chat with a lady for about an hour who said it was PTSD and put me on a waiting list. Got an appointment for treatment and gave the man a brief outline of where I was and what I wanted to achieve. He decided I didn't need PTSD to cope with past trauma and that I needed CBT to cope with everyday stuff instead. I felt like the man took over and decided my treatment for me and then he decided I was well again when I'm not.
 
I had an emergency tracheostomy 2 years ago in a hospital corridor while i was conscious. It affected me terribly after, those 30 mins they worked on me before they gave me drugs to knock me out I'll never forget.

I ended up in a coma for a week then life support for another two weeks. The worst part of the ordeal was when i regained consciousness they would inject me with morphine which gave me horrendous nightmares for about 6 to 8 hrs... the worst dreams / visions i have ever experienced in my life. Then they would come and do it again even tho i was saying no more, please stop.

I received counselling for a year after and it helped me a lot. I have learned not to dwell on these horrible events though it does enter my mind from time to time.

I hope you recover and get the help you need.
 
GP referred me to the provider. I had an initial chat with a lady for about an hour who said it was PTSD and put me on a waiting list. Got an appointment for treatment and gave the man a brief outline of where I was and what I wanted to achieve. He decided I didn't need PTSD to cope with past trauma and that I needed CBT to cope with everyday stuff instead. I felt like the man took over and decided my treatment for me and then he decided I was well again when I'm not.
That's an absolutely awful way to deal with somebody who has reached out for help. Totally shocking.
 
I have CPTSD and it’s awful. I also get bad depression and social anxiety. Baffled how I can’t get a lass 🤣
Could bea blessing in disguise. Looking at my history, there is a lot of time where I wished I'd stayed single and worked on myself before getting in to relationships. It took a three week period where I finished my marriage before I got help.

I had fearsome social anxiety that just seemed to correct as I got older. I could barely join a conversation in a pub with people I knew when I first moved to the Northeast.
 
PTSD has many causes...one horrific incident or multiple events, whatever it's guise the sufferiing is the same. It can rid you of all emotion, a numb state where you search in vain for a good memory. For me it's multiple incidents over many years, and as forgiving as I am, I could never close the door, but few days ago after being floored all day by a single memory, I saw a way to deal with it, or should I say, live with it.

Let's say you suffer from PTSD through bullying at school, work, family etc. The random memories that visit you are nails...they push against your skin, you cry, you bleed, and when it's all over, you wait for the wound to heal. Now let all the memories in, live with them, for now they are a bed of nails...lay on it, you will feel only a slight discomfort, and in time you will sleep soundly with your memories.

Peace & Love (hopefully)
As long as you are careful about how you get on and off the bed and how long you stay on it.
Avoidance is a massive part of PTSD as it prevents processing but you have to be careful about sending your amygdala through the roof all over again , nothing good will come of that
 
As long as you are careful about how you get on and off the bed and how long you stay on it.
Avoidance is a massive part of PTSD as it prevents processing but you have to be careful about sending your amygdala through the roof all over again , nothing good will come of that
Wise words...we can all be hjacked.
 

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