Process for signing a player

In Sunderland's case:

1. Check they're shite
2. Check they're slow, immobile and have questionable attitude
3. Pay whatever the agent wants
4. Give out a lengthy contract, especially if they've got dodgy knees
5. Roll them out to the cameras holding a scarf, coupled with a story of how big they think the club is and how it's an honour to be playing for such a club
6. Try and bury it with other news when they turn out to be shite
 


Went to a Barry Fry talk in.

‘Arry wanted one of his players years back. Fry said “its going to cost you Harry he signed a 3 year deal yesterday in my office”
Harry asked “you sure about that?”.

Redknap had had the player/someone steal and destroy the contract!

Shows you how shady some of the feckers are.
 
Wayne The Punk said:
How does it work?
Is the player interviewed, or can he only speak to the club if a fee agreed?

Its blatantly obvious by the list of utter charlatans we have signed over the years that we never try to gauge a players character or temperament,even though we get told its something that they take into consideration.

See Chubby Grigg as an example, never wanted to be here.
Due to the fact we didnt have a list of options apart from him (due to our amazing scouting network), we end up signing this fucker, he never wanted to come, and we paid f***ing money for him, and not a f***ing small amount (thank fuck for our budget :) ).

For how not to buy a player, have a look at STID and take a bow Stuart Donald, a master class in fuckupwizardry
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Of course players are spoken too, Grigg isn't chubby he's just been shit since we signed him. We have signed some good players and some shit ones. We haven't signed many that have had attitude problems or caused trouble
 
In our case ‘you would be ideal for us’ perfect ! Player .. ‘I would love to play for Sunderland’ ‘how much will I be paid ?’ ..........SD ‘you want paying ?’ ‘ sorry we’ve already got some players!’
 
pwsafc said:
Of course players are spoken too, Grigg isn't chubby he's just been shit since we signed him. We have signed some good players and some shit ones. We haven't signed many that have had attitude problems or caused trouble
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:eek: In what era?
Rodwell, johnson, khazri, kone, gillibodgy or whatever, that tit with the beard, etc etc gibson etc, grigg.
 
Wayne The Punk said:
How does it work?
Is the player interviewed, or can he only speak to the club if a fee agreed?

Its blatantly obvious by the list of utter charlatans we have signed over the years that we never try to gauge a players character or temperament,even though we get told its something that they take into consideration.

See Chubby Grigg as an example, never wanted to be here.
Due to the fact we didnt have a list of options apart from him (due to our amazing scouting network), we end up signing this fucker, he never wanted to come, and we paid f***ing money for him, and not a f***ing small amount (thank fuck for our budget :) ).

For how not to buy a player, have a look at STID and take a bow Stuart Donald, a master class in fuckupwizardry
Click to expand...

Start with a Manager who knows what he wants to fit the style of play that he intends to deliver - a great start.
Budget defined by the Chairman but ultimately the player should be down to the Manager and then sanctioned by the owner. Even better if you have a scout that knows what the Manager wants and is out there recommending.
100% why we had a cracking season.

I found that scene with Stewart Donald negotiating with the Grigg signing on STID absolutely bizarre. I negotiate for a living and unfortunately Donald was having a mare. Started off by having no plan and panicking in the 11th hour.
If only they had a camera in the Wigan office it would have exposed the incompetence even further. He just exposed his bare arse to the football world.
 
Swindon On Tour said:
Start with a Manager who knows what he wants to fit the style of play that he intends to deliver - a great start.
Budget defined by the Chairman but ultimately the player should be down to the Manager and then sanctioned by the owner. Even better if you have a scout that knows what the Manager wants and is out there recommending.
100% why we had a cracking season.

I found that scene with Stewart Donald negotiating with the Grigg signing on STID absolutely bizarre. I negotiate for a living and unfortunately Donald was having a mare. Started off by having no plan and panicking in the 11th hour.
If only they had a camera in the Wigan office it would have exposed the incompetence even further. He just exposed his bare arse to the football world.
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His performance signing Grigg was pathetic. My dad (RIP Dad) would have loved to have played cards with him
 
Think it's also pretty common for some agents to refuse to deal with certain clubs who wont pay their fees etc, probably not all of them but it clearly goes on because a couple of times players move for very reasonable fees when other clubs would have almost certainly paid more, yohan cabeye to the mags for 5 million smells of an agent relationship and they bought a lot of other frenchies around that time which suggests that was the case.
 
Wayne The Punk said:
In your head, I was wondering what different clubs do, why do we fail so spectacularly at it? If thats ok? And it was you who mentioned tapping up, I wasnt interested in that, it was just how our recruitment process was compared to others
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robbied1 said:
School boy stuff this mind, players get tapped up all the time, normally through players who players know, word will get to them the manager is interested. Fergie used to use his english players to tap up players in the England squad.
The letter of the law odms that you can only speak to a player if his club agree, a fee doesnt actually have to be agreed, but normally a fee would be agreed. I'm pretty sure you know this all anyway and dont really know why you want it spelling out
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One other point that happens is that players talk.
Decent clubs and Managers attract attention. We’ve gone from a poison dressing room to the best we could ever hope for within 12 months. I know a few player contacts and a common theme that the current atmosphere between the “group” is the best they have experienced in their career.
I have put most of the credit down to one individual here.
 
SAFC:

  • Everything is based on footy manager, no better source of player stats and they can't be that far off anyway.
  • No tattoo's, anyone with a tattoo is a wrongun, unless you are Scottish and it blends in with the blue skin anyway.
  • You want to be Captain again?, sure thing! If you used to be a captain and now up for sale, you're the man for us.
  • You used to play for Chelsea/Spurs - f***ing hell must be mint as fuck, double the price if we've never heard of him cos when we eventually sell him to Barca , we'll be quids in.
  • You have a cap for Argentina/Brazil/some other doge-pot country? Quick sell some young-uns as we have to keep people happy with artificial bling.
  • DO NOT mention the metro centre is closing.
  • Get them drunk, very, very drunk.
 
Blue Bell Lad said:
I'm a shit businessman but there's no way I'd have let Wigan shaft me like that. Mind he seemed to be enjoying himself in a masochistic sort of way.
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That’s because he’s foolish. Foolish and vain enough to want everyone on the planet with a TV/computer to watch him having his transfer trousers taken down. Can you imagine how embarrassed he must be walking into other clubs boardrooms knowing that they’ve all seen and laughed at that footage? He knows they know and they know he knows. Of course he laughs it off, he’s got no other choice.
No wonder FPP invested in him. They’re like vultures circling ower a John Wayne wagon train.....except John Wayne had read the script, had some input and didn’t take parts that made him look foolish....hopefully the vultures don’t get distracted by another meal.
 
riffraff said:
That’s because he’s foolish. Foolish and vain enough to want everyone on the planet with a TV/computer to watch him having his transfer trousers taken down. Can you imagine how embarrassed he must be walking into other clubs boardrooms knowing that they’ve all seen and laughed at that footage? He knows they know and they know he knows. Of course he laughs it off, he’s got no other choice.
No wonder FPP invested in him. They’re like vultures circling ower a John Wayne wagon train.....except John Wayne had read the script, had some input and didn’t take parts that made him look foolish....hopefully the vultures don’t get distracted by another meal.
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I like that a lot. Haway The Vultures.

HTV
 
riffraff said:
That’s because he’s foolish. Foolish and vain enough to want everyone on the planet with a TV/computer to watch him having his transfer trousers taken down. Can you imagine how embarrassed he must be walking into other clubs boardrooms knowing that they’ve all seen and laughed at that footage? He knows they know and they know he knows. Of course he laughs it off, he’s got no other choice.
No wonder FPP invested in him. They’re like vultures circling ower a John Wayne wagon train.....except John Wayne had read the script, had some input and didn’t take parts that made him look foolish....hopefully the vultures don’t get distracted by another meal.
Click to expand...
This vulture is currently distracted by a bacon sandwich with brown sauce.
 
Wayne The Punk said:
Well Mr Pedantic, it didnt mention tapping up either, it was more about the character side of things, but maybe it wasnt clear enough for you
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Hardly pedantic, you asked if he could only speak to the club if a fee is agreed, I just mentioned the tapping up as clubs do this. Anyway cant be arsed with the stupid questions
 
pwsafc said:
I'm on about now under the current ownership, they have signed some shit but not many with bad attitude
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Fair enough.
I think in this level theyre less likely to play up as theyre less talented, less paid and easily replaceable.
 
We ring the agents Donald hasn’t fallen out with and ask who’s available
The Fitter said:
SAFC:

  • Everything is based on footy manager, no better source of player stats and they can't be that far off anyway.
  • No tattoo's, anyone with a tattoo is a wrongun, unless you are Scottish and it blends in with the blue skin anyway.
  • You want to be Captain again?, sure thing! If you used to be a captain and now up for sale, you're the man for us.
  • You used to play for Chelsea/Spurs - f***ing hell must be mint as fuck, double the price if we've never heard of him cos when we eventually sell him to Barca , we'll be quids in.
  • You have a cap for Argentina/Brazil/some other doge-pot country? Quick sell some young-uns as we have to keep people happy with artificial bling.
  • DO NOT mention the metro centre is closing.
  • Get them drunk, very, very drunk.
Click to expand...

We have a bizarre obsession with players that are capped at international level/have championship experience. All regardless of if they’re any good
 
Last edited by a moderator:
robbied1 said:
Hardly pedantic, you asked if he could only speak to the club if a fee is agreed, I just mentioned the tapping up as clubs do this. Anyway cant be arsed with the stupid questions
Click to expand...


Its you that started it shit for brains, I started a thread for a bit of debate, you jumped in with shit comments from the off, if you cant be arsed to answer "stupid questions" dont f***ing respond. Is that difficult? response incoming in one minute
 

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