Open message for Roger and or Pabs>>>

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duff said:
Nope, it's

'Your gorgeous, timeless lovliness is so smashing, I want to wander through it naked, unashamed of the spots on my bottom.'
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I like your version better than Cockney Mackems.

Does that betray my feminine side ? I normally keep it locked up in case the bitch gets hold of my credit card.
 
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Read the first 6 pages and thought fuck me how long does this go on for..........:eek: 83 more pages no f***ing wonder it's a parsnip. I'll be dead by the time I read all that shite.
 
SydneyFan said:
Read the first 6 pages and thought fuck me how long does this go on for..........:eek: 83 more pages no f***ing wonder it's a parsnip. I'll be dead by the time I read all that shite.
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I read all 89 pages of this thread and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

Wow, I see branding opportunities - can we turn this thread into an LLC, got a shit hot media agency behind us and create a global superbrand here?
 
SydneyFan said:
Read the first 6 pages and thought fuck me how long does this go on for..........:eek: 83 more pages no f***ing wonder it's a parsnip. I'll be dead by the time I read all that shite.
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The first six pages was merely the opening stanza of an epic poem, which involves a number of themes:

  • How crap SMB has become
  • How crap the posts about "how bad SMB has become" have become
  • How LeicesterMackem's posts generally have deteriorated
  • The "Clique"
  • The Zany Crew, and whether it is the same people
  • White dog shit
  • Prog rock and guitar solos
  • Whether transexuals can experience sexual arousal
  • Around this point, God posted for the first time
  • Launching shaved beavers into space using catapults guided by psychic Beagles
  • The creation of the "Zany Clique"
  • Anticipation of arrival of the Beast
  • The Summomning of the Devil
  • Wincey Willis
  • The Devil fields questions from posters
  • False prophets and backscuttling the Devil
  • God Returns briefly
  • The shape of the nation
  • Agreement in principle to meet for alcohol and food
  • The parsnipping of the thread by Roger
  • Outrage and philosophican musings on the true nature of the Parsnip
  • Despite parsnipping the post, Roger continues to post to it
  • The true nature of gipsys
  • The Six Million Dollar Man - the real story (and discourse on bionic pissflaps)
  • Crews and Cliques - brief reprise
  • Kumquats and cumshots
  • satanism, playing records backwords, NWOBHM,Terry Christian and invokation of the Wytchfinder General
  • St Bernard Dogs - their contribution to the evils of the universe
  • Stotty Cakes - ham and peace pudding or fiull English
  • duff stalking Cockney Mackem
  • cannibalism, Schumacher and chickens

The thread is long, but it covers a lot of ground.
 
Bollocks, I thought it was all about asylum sekkers - I'm always missing subtext me.

Anyway, I've had a few meetings with cutting edge hepcat ad execs and we've decided the radical way to go forward with the Superbrand - which shall henceforth be known as The Thread(TM) - is through oh-so-ironic 70s-sty;e slogan shirts, to launch The Thread (TM) through a word of mouth guerilla marketing campaign.

The 3 initial designs are:

Diss me quick, post on me slowly

(Giant finger pointing left) I'm with Cockney

Better Thread (TM) than dead
 
duff said:
I read all 89 pages of this thread and all I got was this lousy T-shirt.

Wow, I see branding opportunities - can we turn this thread into an LLC, got a shit hot media agency behind us and create a global superbrand here?
Click to expand...

I went on the internet, summoned the devil, found out the truth about white dogshit, had cybersex with a load of strange people, had a facial kumquat and launched a beaver with a shaven beaver into space, and all I got was this lousy t-shirt. And chlamydia.
 
duff said:
Bollocks, I thought it was all about asylum sekkers - I'm always missing subtext me.

Anyway, I've had a few meetings with cutting edge hepcat ad execs and we've decided the radical way to go forward with the Superbrand - which shall henceforth be known as The Thread(TM) - is through oh-so-ironic 70s-sty;e slogan shirts, to launch The Thread (TM) through a word of mouth guerilla marketing campaign.

The 3 initial designs are:

Diss me quick, post on me slowly

(Giant finger pointing left) I'm with Cockney

Better Thread (TM) than dead
Click to expand...
I'm sure Cockney Mackem would prefer a viral marketing campaign. So he can share that chlamydia around a bit.

Other slogans

"The first rule of The Thread (TM) is ........"

"Stotty and Full English. The choice of a new generation"

"I'm boiling my piss with LeicesterMackem"

"The Thread (TM). Because it is better you know the Devil....."

"I whitened my dogturd with ..... The Thread (TM)"

"Better Thread than Dead. The Thread (TM) never dies."

"Pissflaps (TM)"
 
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jaxaxe said:
The first six pages was merely the opening stanza of an epic poem, which involves a number of themes:


  • How crap SMB has become
  • How crap the posts about "how bad SMB has become" have become
  • How LeicesterMackem's posts generally have deteriorated
  • The "Clique"
  • The Zany Crew, and whether it is the same people
  • White dog shit
  • Prog rock and guitar solos
  • Whether transexuals can experience sexual arousal
  • Around this point, God posted for the first time
  • Launching shaved beavers into space using catapults guided by psychic Beagles
  • The creation of the "Zany Clique"
  • Anticipation of arrival of the Beast
  • The Summomning of the Devil
  • Wincey Willis
  • The Devil fields questions from posters
  • False prophets and backscuttling the Devil
  • God Returns briefly
  • The shape of the nation
  • Agreement in principle to meet for alcohol and food
  • The parsnipping of the thread by Roger
  • Outrage and philosophican musings on the true nature of the Parsnip
  • Despite parsnipping the post, Roger continues to post to it
  • The true nature of gipsys
  • The Six Million Dollar Man - the real story (and discourse on bionic pissflaps)
  • Crews and Cliques - brief reprise
  • Kumquats and cumshots
  • satanism, playing records backwords, NWOBHM,Terry Christian and invokation of the Wytchfinder General
  • St Bernard Dogs - their contribution to the evils of the universe
  • Stotty Cakes - ham and peace pudding or fiull English
  • duff stalking Cockney Mackem
  • cannibalism, Schumacher and chickens
The thread is long, but it covers a lot of ground.
Click to expand...


Classic jaxaxe , cheers :)
 
Emergency people are right heroes like, putting their life on the line so we escape fore/still have life/see low life scum put away/saved at sea/open the pubs. True heroes, none of the Anal Shemailer is a hero shit...


Anyways, Just to update you on the Stotty Cake situation - had a ham and pease pud one about 10 mins ago, must say it was rather nice. However, I shall be sticking with the new generation choice of Full English...
 
total_recall said:
Emergency people are right heroes like, putting their life on the line so we escape fore/still have life/see low life scum put away/saved at sea/open the pubs. True heroes, none of the Anal Shemailer is a hero shit...


Anyways, Just to update you on the Stotty Cake situation - had a ham and pease pud one about 10 mins ago, must say it was rather nice. However, I shall be sticking with the new generation choice of Full English...
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You have broadened your culinary horizons, while taking in a traditional north East favourite.

Well done. You should be aware that the ham and pease pudding stottie is a healthier choice than the full English. Unless, of course, you coat it in chocolate, deepfry it or both.

Regarding the emergency services, we will see what happens at post 999. I would be surprised if anyone dissed them, unlike God and the Devil, who both appeared earlier.
 
jaxaxe said:
By my calculations, we should be at 1000 posts by this time next week !

Do we anticipate any visits from emergency services on post 999 ?
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Oh yes.

And that's not a Thread (TM), that's a promise.

Latest brand news is we are forming a band to be the yoof face of the brand. I think we should be called Right Said Thread (TM).
 
jaxaxe said:
You have broadened your culinary horizons, while taking in a traditional north East favourite.

Well done. You should be aware that the ham and pease pudding stottie is a healthier choice than the full English. Unless, of course, you coat it in chocolate, deepfry it or both.

Regarding the emergency services, we will see what happens at post 999. I would be surprised if anyone dissed them, unlike God and the Devil, who both appeared earlier.
Click to expand...

Indeed I have tasted the apparent North Eastern fave and whilst I am saying I won't try it again, I would much prefer an Full English.

Dip it in Chocolate??? And ruin the best bread in the world??? are you insane!!!

God doesn't exist yi knar
 
duff said:
Oh yes.

And that's not a Thread (TM), that's a promise.

Latest brand news is we are forming a band to be the yoof face of the brand. I think we should be called Right Said Thread (TM).
Click to expand...
Points to add to the campaign.

The Thread (TM) is officially number 1 AND number 2 in the most read threads in the Parsnip. It provides over 50% of the Parsnip's views.

The Thread (TM) is officially number 1 AND number 3 in the most posted to threads in the Parsnip. It provides over 50% of the Parsnip's posts.

So, sing after me:

I’ve paid my dues -
Time after time -
I’ve done my sentence
But committed no crime -
And bad mistakes
I’ve made a few
I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face -
But I’ve come through

We are the champions - my friends
And we’ll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
’cause we are the champions - of the world -

I’ve taken my bows
And my curtain calls -
You brought me fame and fortuen and everything that goes with it -
I thank you all -

But it’s been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise -
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race -
And I ain’t gonna lose -

We are the champions - my friends
And we’ll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
’cause we are the champions - of the world -
 
jaxaxe said:
Points to add to the campaign.

The Thread (TM) is officially number 1 AND number 2 in the most read threads in the Parsnip. It provides over 50% of the Parsnip's views.

The Thread (TM) is officially number 1 AND number 3 in the most posted to threads in the Parsnip. It provides over 50% of the Parsnip's posts.

So, sing after me:

I’ve paid my dues -
Time after time -
I’ve done my sentence
But committed no crime -
And bad mistakes
I’ve made a few
I’ve had my share of sand kicked in my face -
But I’ve come through

We are the champions - my friends
And we’ll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
’cause we are the champions - of the world -

I’ve taken my bows
And my curtain calls -
You brought me fame and fortuen and everything that goes with it -
I thank you all -

But it’s been no bed of roses
No pleasure cruise -
I consider it a challenge before the whole human race -
And I ain’t gonna lose -

We are the champions - my friends
And we’ll keep on fighting - till the end -
We are the champions -
We are the champions
No time for losers
’cause we are the champions - of the world -
Click to expand...

Whats also amazing is the amount of randomness that DOESNT come from the zany krew in the Thread (TM) (am I allowed to do that yet?)
 
total_recall said:
Indeed I have tasted the apparent North Eastern fave and whilst I am saying I won't try it again, I would much prefer an Full English.

Dip it in Chocolate??? And ruin the best bread in the world??? are you insane!!!

God doesn't exist yi knar
Click to expand...
1) I agree about dipping stotties in chocolate. f***ing obscene waste.

2) God does exist. We know this because he/she hides dinosaur bones for duff to find.
 
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