"No satellite signal"

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I know but Medway hasn't even got a digital signal and won't have before the changeover. It's f***ing ridiculous :neutral:

Not really Kent though is it? Not echt Kent, not le vrai Kent, more sort of a bit of Essex that's wandered over the river.
 
Both our Sky digiboxes are telling us we have no satellite signal. All connections are fine, all the on-screen checks that Sky tell you to do have been done. Sky are going to send an engineer on Wednesday :roll:, but we know that the SMB can do better and tell us how to fix this so we can have telly this long weekend. The fact that both boxes are on the blink indicates it's a dish problem. The dish looks fine: it's still there, it's still pointing the same way as the neighbours', and there's nothing untoward like a loose cable or a bloody big bird sitting on it.

So oh wise SMB, what is our problem and how do we fix it?


Switch on and off for five minutes as recommended by Sky. If the error repeats, chech that your scart and hdmi leads are plugged in properly (they might not be loose, just not pushed in properly - had this a couple of times and they can work loose if you're moving things around from time to time). If there's more problems, ring the Sky technical help line (and prepare to queue - at least Scottish and not Indian).

Been through this a few times. If problems are frequent, then the box may be close to replacement, also a good chance to upgrade if you want.
 
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Both our Sky digiboxes are telling us we have no satellite signal. All connections are fine, all the on-screen checks that Sky tell you to do have been done. Sky are going to send an engineer on Wednesday :roll:, but we know that the SMB can do better and tell us how to fix this so we can have telly this long weekend. The fact that both boxes are on the blink indicates it's a dish problem. The dish looks fine: it's still there, it's still pointing the same way as the neighbours', and there's nothing untoward like a loose cable or a bloody big bird sitting on it.

So oh wise SMB, what is our problem and how do we fix it?

your dish has proberbly moved slightly. using the remote,
press services, and from the drop down menu, select,
system setup, next drop down menu select signal test,
and there should see two grey bars, one on signal strength and one on signal
quality, they should be at least two thirds across,
if not get a ladder and ajust the dish until until the grey bars are 2 thirds across, and bobs your uncle.
 
Both our Sky digiboxes are telling us we have no satellite signal. All connections are fine, all the on-screen checks that Sky tell you to do have been done. Sky are going to send an engineer on Wednesday :roll:, but we know that the SMB can do better and tell us how to fix this so we can have telly this long weekend. The fact that both boxes are on the blink indicates it's a dish problem. The dish looks fine: it's still there, it's still pointing the same way as the neighbours', and there's nothing untoward like a loose cable or a bloody big bird sitting on it.

So oh wise SMB, what is our problem and how do we fix it?

Chances are that it's the LNB alignment on the actual dish.

You could try wiggling it, the dish that is, not anything else ;)
 
Chances are that it's the LNB alignment on the actual dish.

You could try wiggling it, the dish that is, not anything else ;)

I like the idea of wiggling it.... you can't break it any more than it is already... Make Mr P wiggle it anyway :lol:

Sat'da Kitchen was a bit shite - I went and cleaned the kitchen windows in the boring bits
 
Have you considered that it might be the satellite in space that has moved? You can phone NASA and ask them to move it back.;)
When I worked at T-Mobile we used to get people phoning up complaining about their signal then saying "Can you not move the satellite?". I found it easier to say yes rather than explaining how mobiles worked. They always thought the signal was better after I'd done it.
I reckon people who work in Call Centres in Doxford Park should definitely be given the power to move satellites.
 
I reckon people who work in Call Centres in Doxford Park should definitely be given the power to move satellites.

Having seen the way people who work in call centres in Doxford Park manage to fuck up parking their cars, I think them moving satellites would be hilarious...:lol:
 
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