Moving in together

Seaham Towny

Seaham Towny

Striker
Just curious as to what the SMB thinks of this.

I moved in with my wife around 10 weeks after starting to see each other. I have mates who lived with their parents til getting a house together and split up after a few months… some of these were 5 year relationships.

I suppose my question is, can you really know someone before living with them? And is it worth doing before embarking on something as serious as a mortgage together?
 


Seaham Towny said:
Just curious as to what the SMB thinks of this.

I moved in with my wife around 10 weeks after starting to see each other. I have mates who lived with their parents til getting a house together and split up after a few months… some of these were 5 year relationships.

I suppose my question is, can you really know someone before living with them? And is it worth doing before embarking on something as serious as a mortgage together?
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Yes. Was going out with my lass for two years before we moved in. We stayed over at each other’s often enough to have a fair idea of each other.

As far as the second question goes, @MackneyHackem may have some thoughts.
 
Similar time for me. I imagine whether or not it works heavily depends on the person’s lifestyle.

Living with their parents while they’re an adult then moving in with a lass is always going to be difficult, especially if the lass isn’t up for making their packed lunch etc.
 
I've lived with a couple of blokes over the years, thankfully never married them as it didn't work out.
If I got into a relationship now I'd probably insist on separate places until I was certain things would work.
If I met my true soulmate that I could see me wanting to spend my life with I'd be open to that, I'd just want to take it easy is all.
 
PeteFTM said:
Similar time for me. I imagine whether or not it works heavily depends on the person’s lifestyle.

Living with their parents while they’re an adult then moving in with a lass is always going to be difficult, especially if the lass isn’t up for making their packed lunch etc.
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My missus has never had to make me a packed lunch so to speak.

The lads I mention in the OP were in the main tradies, they take a packed lunch. Their lass wouldn’t make one. Is this a factor? Do we live in such a stereotypical universe that makes it so?
 
Northern Boarders said:
Get to know you're partner before living together.
Live together before settling down.
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Pretty much this.

Don't move in together straight away though. Recipe for disaster. Give it at least 6-12 months. Maybe even longer depending on how serious / casual yous are.

Also don't end up being co-dependant when moving in together, probably the worst thing you can do.
 
mcq10 said:
Live with them before committing.

you’ll both find out everything you hate about each other, get through that you’re grand 👍
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Given my personal experience I think this is the best option but have we been so indoctrinated towards home ownership that we see the ‘live with parents til you buy a house’ scenario play out too many times that the OP is inevitable?
 
Seaham Towny said:
My missus has never had to make me a packed lunch so to speak.

The lads I mention in the OP were in the main tradies, they take a packed lunch. Their lass wouldn’t make one. Is this a factor? Do we live in such a stereotypical universe that makes it so?
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I just know lads who lived with their parents a long time then struggle because they expect their lass to take over the mam duties.
 
Seaham Towny said:
Just curious as to what the SMB thinks of this.

I moved in with my wife around 10 weeks after starting to see each other. I have mates who lived with their parents til getting a house together and split up after a few months… some of these were 5 year relationships.

I suppose my question is, can you really know someone before living with them? And is it worth doing before embarking on something as serious as a mortgage together?
Click to expand...

I'd been with our lass about 3 years before moving in. She bought the house and I wasn't on the mortgage initially. The first year was great followed by some massive ups and downs. We are solid now but I'd recommend living with someone before getting a mortgage together personally.
 
Seaham Towny said:
My missus has never had to make me a packed lunch so to speak.

The lads I mention in the OP were in the main tradies, they take a packed lunch. Their lass wouldn’t make one. Is this a factor? Do we live in such a stereotypical universe that makes it so?
Click to expand...

Is "packed lunch" a euphemism? If not, I'd expect the lads in question should be able to make some sandwiches and get some Pom Bears and a Wagon Wheel out of the cupboard each day.
 

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