Most creative insults

[MackemBob]

Second one is class

http://insult.dream40.org/

Rump fed stench.

 

[The Exile]

One of the lads at work knows him in real life (bairns go to the same school), supposedly a canny lad.

 

[muggboots]

@PhilSAFC once called someone on here a simpering fuckbiscuit

Best I've heard like.

Who did I call a titsling that time?

 

[Hair Flick]

I heard him say the only way Gordon Brown could win the election was if he bungee jumped from a helicopter into the open mouth of a great white shark and came back with a live Madeline Macann!!!
BRUTAL

He was right

 

[tunstall birdman]

Someone was described on here as a hoofwanking spangletwat which I thought was quite creative. Dog nonce is pretty descriptive too.

 

[Snaggletooth]

Two of the lasses who work in admin came down to the cafe at work, and i asked where cindarella was. They didnt get it though!

 

[raindog]

 

[Laeotaekhun]

One that has stuck in my mind for more than 50 years, which I think is a belter.

It was frequently used by someone (male) that I used to work with, normally under his breath.

"Snot gobbling son of a Mongolian shitpig".

 

[pillars of hercules]

Barcoded, skunk smelling, gravy stained, shop shouting, bed sheet waving, deluded horse botherer.

 

[raindog]

Once recall my Grandad telling my uncle that his wife (my auntie) was a like f'ing fanny in a potted salmon paste jar

 

[Julio_legend]

A friend of mine is a journalist and another journo from a different paper (editor, in fact) was speaking to him about a new reporter they had at their paper. The new reporter was a young, attractive blonde woman (nee pics).

He said “I’d use her shite for toothpaste”

I know it’s not exactly an insult but it just needs to be out there for all to read

 

[jayjaysafc]

A friend of mine is a journalist and another journo from a different paper (editor, in fact) was speaking to him about a new reporter they had at their paper. The new reporter was a young, attractive blonde woman (nee pics).

He said “I’d use her shite for toothpaste”

I know it’s not exactly an insult but it just needs to be out there for all to read

One of Chubby's innit?

 

[Notorious Decka]

"She's got a fanny like an empty headlock"

Saw that one written about Katie Price and thought it was quite amusing.

 

[Keawyeds]

"She's got a fanny like an empty headlock"

Saw that one written about Katie Price and thought it was quite amusing.

That's rather good.

I enjoyed someone calling the bloke from Westlife a "Wet Quilt" the other day

 

[Dagzd1973]

One of Chubby's innit?

Yup.

 

[Teed]

salutes troops in a way that makes Benny Hill look like Stalin​

That had me decked that.

 

[toxic tracksuit]

Our elderly neighbours (late 70s?) are the perfect happy couple when you meet them in the street. Always smartly dressed, him in his 3 piece suit, her with blue rinse and shopping trolley. However they have some right barnys behind closed doors. Best I heard was him "You're not worth a wank woman." followed by her "ahhh you've got nowt to wank with, unless it's a goat's".

 

[yorkyexile]

One that has stuck in my mind for more than 50 years, which I think is a belter.

It was frequently used by someone (male) that I used to work with, normally under his breath.

"Snot gobbling son of a Mongolian shitpig".

Quite often got called a snot gobbling mongolian misfuck during my my apprenticeship.

 

[Scotty 1978]

Heard this before, “hew put them teeth away, before somebody trips over them

 

[heston]

I used to have a cutting from the paper with the top ten insults from around the world. My favourite was an Iranian one which translated as "May a fart be on your beard."