Most Bizarre Phonecall Requests

[Tommasi]

My dad's just left me a voicemail, there's a seagull dead on his ex lasses flat roof and he's wondering if I know anyone who will get it off for her

Any others?

 

[chunkyshanhawk53]

Your dad wants you to help get his ex off?

It takes all sorts

 

[Rubberglove]

Tell him to get in touch with the fucker who karate chopped it in half

 

[Jon Dough]

I had some guys from sunderland come down to London to work for me,one of the guys wifes phoned him down here to phone a taxi-rank in sunderland to collect her from their house and take her down the town

 

[jjarra_mackem]

Call from marstons about an unpaid bill at address ive never lived at

 

[muggboots]

I had some guys from sunderland come down to London to work for me,one of the guys wifes phoned him down here to phone a taxi-rank in sunderland to collect her from their house and take her down the town

You were only cab instead of taxi away from a thorough reporting there lad.

 

[Space Hopper]

Some weirdo keeps phoning me and asking me if I like mayonnaise.

f***ing Hellman.

 

[Chap78]

Some reprobate from where I used to work phoned an escort agency looking for a girl who would dress as a black scorpion. f***ing Bristol dog nonce.

 

[Redandwhitedust]

Some reprobate from where I used to work phoned an escort agency looking for a girl who would dress as a black scorpion. f***ing Bristol dog nonce.

Where do you even start with that one! Surely he didnt mean this?

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I had an angry call from a bloke who was going to fill me in for harassing his girlfriend. As soon as I said I didn't know who or what he was on about, he picked up that I had a northeast accent, and apologised, as he had clearly got the wrong number.