London Transport Vigilante


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Rumours abound that a slightly unhinged man is going round on tubes and local trains in the London area with a Samurai sword and murdering people where they stand for going slowly and standing in front of ticket gates staring at their oyster card wondering what it's for.

Apparently he gets especially enraged at groups of people strolling along blocking the corridor so nobody can get past and making him miss his train. A few of these groups have been beheaded and disemboweled and he's chucked the severed heads onto the live rail and watched them sizzle.

The authorities are hushing it up to avoid a panic but keep a lookout. If you're near a group of slow moving fuckwits steer clear because this **** is going to cut them into slices and display them on a giant toast rack. If you're going slowly for any reason stand aside if you want to live.
 
The authorities are hushing it up to avoid a panic but keep a lookout. If you're near a group of slow moving fuckwits steer clear because this **** is going to cut them into slices and display them on a giant toast rack. If you're going slowly for any reason stand aside if you want to live.

:lol::lol:
 
Rumours abound that a slightly unhinged man is going round on tubes and local trains in the London area with a Samurai sword and murdering people where they stand for going slowly and standing in front of ticket gates staring at their oyster card wondering what it's for.

Apparently he gets especially enraged at groups of people strolling along blocking the corridor so nobody can get past and making him miss his train. A few of these groups have been beheaded and disemboweled and he's chucked the severed heads onto the live rail and watched them sizzle.

The authorities are hushing it up to avoid a panic but keep a lookout. If you're near a group of slow moving fuckwits steer clear because this **** is going to cut them into slices and display them on a giant toast rack. If you're going slowly for any reason stand aside if you want to live.

I know exactly what you mean. Have you got a spare sword mate. I hate school holidays
 
The London Transport Vigilante is too busy to kill transgressors on the train today, as he needs to hunt down the **** who decided to roll out Windows Vista to the whole of the UK division of his company, so he can cut his balls off and make him watch while he feeds them to ravenous pigs.
 
The London Transport Vigilante is too busy to kill transgressors on the train today, as he needs to hunt down the **** who decided to roll out Windows Vista to the whole of the UK division of his company, so he can cut his balls off and make him watch while he feeds them to ravenous pigs.
aannnddd breath
 

I know you don't like me and obviously I'm devastated by that, but to argue by implication that you think Windows Vista is a good operating system just to take a different view to mine: well, that's just disappointing.

Cockney Mackem said:
Spug,

I know you don't like me and obviously I'm devastated by that, but to argue by implication that you think Windows Vista is a good operating system just to take a different view to mine: well, that's just disappointing.

...
 
The London Transport Vigilante is too busy to kill transgressors on the train today, as he needs to hunt down the **** who decided to roll out Windows Vista to the whole of the UK division of his company, so he can cut his balls off and make him watch while he feeds them to ravenous pigs.

Don't worry, I just bought a katana last week. I was saving it for the zombie apocalypse but I'm more than happy to stand in for you ....er ... him. ;)
 
There may well be one at Central Metro too if fuckers don't learn to stand on the bastard right hand side of the escalators.
 
Once he has cleaned up the tube can you ask him to move onto airports and planes? How f***ing difficult is it to get your passport out at the right page and listen to the instructions whilst queueing for security. And if you have 12 kids and a shitload of luggage to collect dont block the f***ing aisle for 5 minutes when getting off the plane as you are going to have to wait for your luggage anyway!
 
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