Little things in life that fuck you off


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Microwave meal plastic covers.

When you try to peel the fuckers back (especially from the Co-op) they never work. Always rip, or just simply tear around the outside. Burn ya fingers off getting into them properly :evil:
 
When you're trying to chill, and the missus is either nagging you to fix something, or just harping on about bloody shoes, ornaments, or curtains and stuff. Just leave us in me cave to forget about the tedium of real life for a bit, man woman man!

When you've waited in for a delivery or a visitor, and they are taking piss-takingly long - so you go for a shit.....and the door knocks...
 
Trying to secretly sneak a couple of crackers and some cheese after your lass has gone to bed, and getting the bloody crockery out making a hell of a lot more noise than usual!!:evil::evil:
 
When you're about to have a pint/can after work and someone will say something like 'Having another one, ey?' like they think you shouldn't be drinking on a school night. Completely ruins the pint.

People who hold their phone like they're in 'The Apprentice'.

This stupid 'sand shoe, no socks and elasticated jeans with super thin t-shirt that looks like it's been pulled out of all recognition' fashion.
 
when ya decide to have a quick tug owa her from corry and theres nowt to spaff into apart from a crisp packet. the salt and vinegar flavouring stings ya bell end! :evil:
 
Lads who use cubiles to get a piss and leave it all ower the toilet seat

Lads who use cubicles to get a piss in the first place (what are they hiding??)

People who used the word "obviously" all the time, when clearly what they are on about is not! I always ask them why it's obvious.
 
Lads who use cubicles to get a piss in the first place (what are they hiding??)
People who used the word "obviously" all the time, when clearly what they are on about is not! I always ask them why it's obvious.

sniff and small cocks

having to work till 5:30 every day even a Friday.
 
Cabbies who think that by just sitting in their taxi you have somehow said: "Yes, I'm really tired because I've just travelled 300 miles, but do please starting moaning about every last thing in life that annoys you, even if that is a list some four hundred items long and it does make you sound like you regularly dig shallow graves in woodland."

People who eat food in shops.

People who talk on their mobiles when they're being served in shops.

People who can't walk IN A STRAIGHT f***ing LINE.

People who get to the top of an escalator, and stop to look around.

People who don't indicate. People who do indicate, but do it wrong. People who do indicate, do it right, but drive a car that annoys me (anything from a Multipla to a Subaru), have a fat exhaust, have anything to do with 'princess' on their car, or have their name in letters on the back.

People who stink of deodorant spray. People who stink of sweat.

Women who think that sucking in their cheeks as if someone's just vacuumed out their insides somehow makes them look sexy. Men who call women 'females'.

Headphones that spend every moment plotting in your pocket about how to tangle when you're not looking.

People who think they are right.

Pleather. Litter. Spines. People who don't know when to shut up. Hangnails. The new bog roll dispensers at work that are like tiny anuses that shit bits of paper at you if you are lucky and they are not constipated. Celebrity magazines. Lifestyle articles in newspapers. Snots that you think will be cornflake snots but turn out disappointing. Religious people knocking at the door on Saturday morning, and looking like they have escaped from the cast of Freaks. People who gossip about celebrities like they know them. Really? Divorced? Never! Who are the fuck are these people again?

Novelty tee-shirts. Is it really beer o'clock? Are you really 'champion pussy eater' or are you just a very overweight man who looks like he interferes with children?
 
Having to enter cryptic characters strings every time I want to do something on the internet these days, to prove I'm human.
 
Trying to secretly sneak a couple of crackers and some cheese after your lass has gone to bed, and getting the bloody crockery out making a hell of a lot more noise than usual!!:evil::evil:

Men that allow their lasses to tell them what they can do and when they can do it.
 
People who are on the dole and have never done a days work in their life who appear to have better lives than people who do work.
 
Lads who use cubicles to get a piss in the first place (what are they hiding??)

People who used the word "obviously" all the time, when clearly what they are on about is not! I always ask them why it's obvious.

What if you want to clean your bell end and not get piss on you clean kecks?
What if you don't want splash back from the trough to get all over your clean strides?


(OK OK what if you've just got a little tadger, or it's cold outside and he's sleeping?:oops:)
 
Cabbies who think that by just sitting in their taxi you have somehow said: "Yes, I'm really tired because I've just travelled 300 miles, but do please starting moaning about every last thing in life that annoys you, even if that is a list some four hundred items long and it does make you sound like you regularly dig shallow graves in woodland."

People who eat food in shops.

People who talk on their mobiles when they're being served in shops.

People who can't walk IN A STRAIGHT f***ing LINE.

People who get to the top of an escalator, and stop to look around.

People who don't indicate. People who do indicate, but do it wrong. People who do indicate, do it right, but drive a car that annoys me (anything from a Multipla to a Subaru), have a fat exhaust, have anything to do with 'princess' on their car, or have their name in letters on the back.

People who stink of deodorant spray. People who stink of sweat.

Women who think that sucking in their cheeks as if someone's just vacuumed out their insides somehow makes them look sexy. Men who call women 'females'.

Headphones that spend every moment plotting in your pocket about how to tangle when you're not looking.

People who think they are right.

Pleather. Litter. Spines. People who don't know when to shut up. Hangnails. The new bog roll dispensers at work that are like tiny anuses that shit bits of paper at you if you are lucky and they are not constipated. Celebrity magazines. Lifestyle articles in newspapers. Snots that you think will be cornflake snots but turn out disappointing. Religious people knocking at the door on Saturday morning, and looking like they have escaped from the cast of Freaks. People who gossip about celebrities like they know them. Really? Divorced? Never! Who are the fuck are these people again?

Novelty tee-shirts. Is it really beer o'clock? Are you really 'champion pussy eater' or are you just a very overweight man who looks like he interferes with children?

Post of the Year.
 
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