Little things in life that fuck you off


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Lasses in office coming in and first thing they say is they are not eating any shite today and within 10 minutes are in the f***ing biscuit jar/eating cakes/crips/chocolate for the rest of the day.

Just say fuck all and I won't give a shit.

They also decide to offer you one each time, even tho they know you are eating healthy. "oooo you are sooo good, wish I had your willpower". You f***ing could if you actually tried, fat knacker.
 
Nipping into a Tesco or Asda etc. that you've never used before and find that the layout bears no similarity to any other branch you've ever been in so you're in there f***ing ages trying to find what you want.

Having a parking space under a tree so it's constantly getting pollen and bird shit all ower it.

People who dish out grief but get a right f***ing monk on when they get some back. The lass sitting opposite me is a prime example.
 
Nipping into a Tesco or Asda etc. that you've never used before and find that the layout bears no similarity to any other branch you've ever been in so you're in there f***ing ages trying to find what you want.

Having a parking space under a tree so it's constantly getting pollen and bird shit all ower it.

People who dish out grief but get a right f***ing monk on when they get some back. The lass sitting opposite me is a prime example.

They constantly change things around. Milk, bread and such usually stays in the same place but everything else get's shifted about. It's so you pass by more things that you might by on impulse.
 
Lasses not putting the bog seat back up the lazy cows
 
Nipping into a Tesco or Asda etc. that you've never used before and find that the layout bears no similarity to any other branch you've ever been in so you're in there f***ing ages trying to find what you want.

I'm with you on this one. I work near a large Tesco and live near another so I do nearly all my shopping in the two, either on my lunch or in the evening/weekend and the layout in the 2 is totally different. :mad:
 
Lasses in office coming in and first thing they say is they are not eating any shite today and within 10 minutes are in the f***ing biscuit jar/eating cakes/crips/chocolate for the rest of the day.

Just say fuck all and I won't give a shit.

They also decide to offer you one each time, even tho they know you are eating healthy. "oooo you are sooo good, wish I had your willpower". You f***ing could if you actually tried, fat knacker.

Or when they say in Restaurants would you like to see the desert menu and lasses say "oooh I shouldn't" every single f***ing time they are asked, just either say no or yes nobody gives a fuck.

My lass said last night her Aunt had told her to tell me that she is asking after me when she got off the phone, what exactly does that fucker mean because I never heard them discussing me.
 
They constantly change things around. Milk, bread and such usually stays in the same place but everything else get's shifted about. It's so you pass by more things that you might by on impulse.

It's not the moving around of stuff as such. Most will move the odd product an aisle or 2 at most but you've still got the chiller bit, freezer bit, fruit and veg bit, pet food bit etc. that are always in the same general area of the store.

It's when I go into a different branch that's the same size and shape but the various sections seem to be laid out completely randomly compared to where they are in my local one that winds me up.
 
Emails at work to 100+ people that are riddled with spelling/grammatical errors.

Authors of said emails whose excuse is "I've not got time to polish my emails".

Appallingly laid out documents full of trailing white-space, blanks space to enforce page-breaks, inconsistent style, etc.

Colleagues who disappear for a 15-20 minute tea break when you are totally under the cosh.

People who deliberately accelerate to stop you getting into the outside lane.

That woman who works in Tesco by the Board Inn who looks like she's slept in her work clothes.

People who don't even acknowledge you when you' ve held a door for them.

People who stand chatting whilst blocking up a supermarket aisle.

People whose shit parking occupies more than one parking bay.

etc.

But you're not bitter are you?
 
Not using indicators is a big one of mine, been shouting at some prick not ten minutes ago for this. We have all passed a test I just don't understand how some people can be so incompetent at it. My temper behind the wheel is getting worse I'm going to end up having a heart attack one day.
 
Not using indicators is a big one of mine, been shouting at some prick not ten minutes ago for this. We have all passed a test I just don't understand how some people can be so incompetent at it. My temper behind the wheel is getting worse I'm going to end up having a heart attack one day.

The future of the species is doomed. If moving your finger one inch to put your blinker on as a courtesy to other drivers and possibly avoid an accident is too much trouble then we've got absolutely no chance.
 
People chewing gum and also standing in spat out gum! Disgusting :evil:
 
Self service checkouts.

People who ignore queues at the bar by shouting their order at the barman as he's halfway through serving somebody else.

People who bomb up the right hand lane till the last possible second when lanes merge then expect people to let them in.

People who wear t-shirt and body warmer combos - if it's cold enough for the body warmer, it's too cold for the bare arm.

People who wear hats indoors.

People who pay for a seated ticket at a concert when there is standing available, and then proceed to stand anyway meaning anybody behind them who paid to sit can't see a thing.

Sting.
 
Self service checkouts.

People who ignore queues at the bar by shouting their order at the barman as he's halfway through serving somebody else.

People who bomb up the right hand lane till the last possible second when lanes merge then expect people to let them in.

People who wear t-shirt and body warmer combos - if it's cold enough for the body warmer, it's too cold for the bare arm.

People who wear hats indoors.

People who pay for a seated ticket at a concert when there is standing available, and then proceed to stand anyway meaning anybody behind them who paid to sit can't see a thing.

Sting.

people who don't know how to use a f***ing merge lane!
 
Here's me thinking you took notice of the signs, found an acceptable gap in the traffic at a normal speed, and filtered in with time to spare. Maybe I'm doing it all wrong and should be horsing my car like an absolute arsehole until the bumper is about two inches off the cones in the road before bullying myself into a non-existant gap all to shave about ten seconds off my journey.
 
Here's me thinking you took notice of the signs, found an acceptable gap in the traffic at a normal speed, and filtered in with time to spare. Maybe I'm doing it all wrong and should be horsing my car like an absolute arsehole until the bumper is about two inches off the cones in the road before bullying myself into a non-existant gap all to shave about ten seconds off my journey.

If the people in the left hand lane left sufficient distance to allow a merge lane to work then there would not be a problem. It's the people that sit bumper to bumper at 5mph just to stop a merge lane from working.

Why do you think the highways people go to the extent of putting up the "USE BOTH LANES" & "MERGE IN TURN" signs? It's because most people merge far too early which causes the traffic jam.
 
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