Life changing event


Fred

Winger
So almost 3 years ago now, my Brother passed away aged only 39 after a brain aneurysm. Shit for everyone involved at the time but unfortunately shit events happen every day and we just have to crack on.

However when he was about 21, he was living down London and ended up having a son with a woman much older than him. I won't go into detail but things happened and they ended up splitting up and for whatever reason that was beyond my control, my brother never got to see his son again. Whether that was because of him or because of her, I have no idea but I choose not to delve into that myself.

This led to a few days ago where my Mam, unknown to me, somehow managed to get in touch with my Brothers ex, but they had a massive falling out and she has refused to talk to my Mam full stop. This has led to her getting in touch with me and my other brother instead and saying she has just explained to her son about what has happened with my brother. This has also now spiralled into me giving my phone number to her and patiently waiting for a text from my nephew that I haven't seen or heard from since he was 2 weeks old.

This is literally everything I have ever wished for regards to my nephew. A chance to be a part of his life.

Even if he chooses not to, I now at least know he is happy and safe and currently at university, so he's doing well for himself.

I know that this might mean some awkward and uncomfortable conversations and a huge amount of honesty on my part as to why everything has happened the way it has, to the best of my knowledge. Hopefully I can give the lad the answers he needs and hopefully some closure.

I don't know whether I am over the moon and excited or dreading trying to explain his Dad to him. Just feel like I have been hit for 6, but in a really good way.
 
So almost 3 years ago now, my Brother passed away aged only 39 after a brain aneurysm. Shit for everyone involved at the time but unfortunately shit events happen every day and we just have to crack on.

However when he was about 21, he was living down London and ended up having a son with a woman much older than him. I won't go into detail but things happened and they ended up splitting up and for whatever reason that was beyond my control, my brother never got to see his son again. Whether that was because of him or because of her, I have no idea but I choose not to delve into that myself.

This led to a few days ago where my Mam, unknown to me, somehow managed to get in touch with my Brothers ex, but they had a massive falling out and she has refused to talk to my Mam full stop. This has led to her getting in touch with me and my other brother instead and saying she has just explained to her son about what has happened with my brother. This has also now spiralled into me giving my phone number to her and patiently waiting for a text from my nephew that I haven't seen or heard from since he was 2 weeks old.

This is literally everything I have ever wished for regards to my nephew. A chance to be a part of his life.

Even if he chooses not to, I now at least know he is happy and safe and currently at university, so he's doing well for himself.

I know that this might mean some awkward and uncomfortable conversations and a huge amount of honesty on my part as to why everything has happened the way it has, to the best of my knowledge. Hopefully I can give the lad the answers he needs and hopefully some closure.

I don't know whether I am over the moon and excited or dreading trying to explain his Dad to him. Just feel like I have been hit for 6, but in a really good way.
You can’t make excuses mate. All you can do is build on the future. Once you go back overs the boy will always feel let down. Good luck
 
Your nephews wishes are paramount...you are a virtual stranger with a close blood tie, but we are all related and it's somewhat dangerous to think there will be a better connection because someone is what we call "family" The whole human race is our family, and there are no genetic rules to say who will gel with who.

Good luck my friend.

ps. I am closer to my adopted daughter than I am to my other children.
 
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Your nephews wishes are paramount...you are a virtual stranger with a close blood tie, but we are all related and it's somewhat dangerous to think there will be a better connection because someone is what we call "family" The whole human race is our family, and there are no genetic rules to say who will gel with who.

Good luck my friend.

ps. I am closer to my adopted daughter than I am to my other children.
Yeah I know his wishes are infinitely more important than mine.

Right now though it's a bit like supporting the lads.

It's the hope I can't stand.
 
So almost 3 years ago now, my Brother passed away aged only 39 after a brain aneurysm. Shit for everyone involved at the time but unfortunately shit events happen every day and we just have to crack on.

However when he was about 21, he was living down London and ended up having a son with a woman much older than him. I won't go into detail but things happened and they ended up splitting up and for whatever reason that was beyond my control, my brother never got to see his son again. Whether that was because of him or because of her, I have no idea but I choose not to delve into that myself.

This led to a few days ago where my Mam, unknown to me, somehow managed to get in touch with my Brothers ex, but they had a massive falling out and she has refused to talk to my Mam full stop. This has led to her getting in touch with me and my other brother instead and saying she has just explained to her son about what has happened with my brother. This has also now spiralled into me giving my phone number to her and patiently waiting for a text from my nephew that I haven't seen or heard from since he was 2 weeks old.

This is literally everything I have ever wished for regards to my nephew. A chance to be a part of his life.

Even if he chooses not to, I now at least know he is happy and safe and currently at university, so he's doing well for himself.

I know that this might mean some awkward and uncomfortable conversations and a huge amount of honesty on my part as to why everything has happened the way it has, to the best of my knowledge. Hopefully I can give the lad the answers he needs and hopefully some closure.

I don't know whether I am over the moon and excited or dreading trying to explain his Dad to him. Just feel like I have been hit for 6, but in a really good way.
I get it, when me mam died, back in 2020, it changed the whole world, for our family.
 
Yeah I know his wishes are infinitely more important than mine.

Right now though it's a bit like supporting the lads.

It's the hope I can't stand.
Being dutiful has been my downfall in life, so I've learned the hard way. All we can do is hope to be needed.
 
That's lovely that you've made contact again. I hope you hear from him soon and you get to meet him. Sounds like a decent kid if he's managed to get into university.
 
That's lovely that you've made contact again. I hope you hear from him soon and you get to meet him. Sounds like a decent kid if he's managed to get into university.
My son got into university...he's an arsehole 🤣

Some just slip through.
 
And now to put my emotions into overdrive, my Grandma passed away last night when I'm all the way down near Liverpool.

This all obviously isn't just about me, but as a family right now this is just so much to take in.

Right now my head is just all over the place. I hate it when people announce their departures because it's normally when they've done something stupid, but I think I'm going to go off here for a little while to try and clear my head and be around family. Speak to you guys soon!
 
And now to put my emotions into overdrive, my Grandma passed away last night when I'm all the way down near Liverpool.

This all obviously isn't just about me, but as a family right now this is just so much to take in.

Right now my head is just all over the place. I hate it when people announce their departures because it's normally when they've done something stupid, but I think I'm going to go off here for a little while to try and clear my head and be around family. Speak to you guys soon!
Take it easy Fred and look after yourself. See you soon.
 

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