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becs
Guest
Thanks all. I'm struggling today and it means a lot knowing people are holding my hand xx
Latest on me dad, apologies if it’s boring but it’s the most important thing
- Thread starter janey
- Start date
You have days like that with one thing and another by the time I got home from work on Friday I was on my knees.
But tomorrow is another day and you will bounce back xxx
D
Deleted member 634
Guest
Lost my Dad on April 27th this year. We had been told on the 20th April he had weeks left because of his cancer. It was his 79th birthday on the 21st April and I wrote down everything in his birthday card, how i loved him and how much he had inspired me.They've assessed my Dad and he's too poorly to have it operated on. He had a stroke three years ago while recovering from heart surgery after a heart attack. That left him severely disabled. He's paralysed all down the left side and he couldn't sit up, his mouth was dropped so his speech was slurred and he dribbled when he ate and he didn't always make sense mentally. Fast forward three years and he's made massive improvements. His mouth is pretty much normal now so his speech is clear and he can manage to eat well. Mentally he's sound and you can sit and have a conversation with him and it's like there's nothing wrong with him. He's managed to strengthen his back and hip so he can sit up in a chair/wheelchair and he can do assisted transfers now. If you stand in front of him and hold his torso, he can sort of hug you and bounce his bum between the wheelchair and bed/chair. Generally his quality of life is decent and they get out and about to various old folks groups, meals out with friends, they come to stuff the bairn is in at school etc.
They've said if they operate, there is a very strong possibility that he'll either not recover from it or have another stroke and end up back how he was three years ago or in an even worse state. We've talked about it and decided it's too greater risk and we'd rather see his days out with him being with us and doing things he wants to do rather than him being confused and stuck in a hospital bed not knowing what is going on.
They've assessed him and his heart, lungs and kidneys are all showing signs of failure. They'll do as much as they can to keep him comfortable but it's just a matter of waiting for the inevitable. Nobody can tell how long this will take - could be next week, next month, next year - who knows!
I'm absolutely gutted. I love him so much. He's like a best mate and we have class conversations about footy and stuff and we're always getting into trouble for winding my Mam up. It's so hard this
Being a bloke I obviously couldn't tell him face to face!
He read the card, smiled and called me a daft shite and then grabbed my hand. I lost him six days later but I'm glad he knew how I felt
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becs
Guest
Awww that's so moving. I'm pleased you got the chance to tell him and he would have been happy knowing all of that xx
raindog
Winger
They've assessed my Dad and he's too poorly to have it operated on. He had a stroke three years ago while recovering from heart surgery after a heart attack. That left him severely disabled. He's paralysed all down the left side and he couldn't sit up, his mouth was dropped so his speech was slurred and he dribbled when he ate and he didn't always make sense mentally. Fast forward three years and he's made massive improvements. His mouth is pretty much normal now so his speech is clear and he can manage to eat well. Mentally he's sound and you can sit and have a conversation with him and it's like there's nothing wrong with him. He's managed to strengthen his back and hip so he can sit up in a chair/wheelchair and he can do assisted transfers now. If you stand in front of him and hold his torso, he can sort of hug you and bounce his bum between the wheelchair and bed/chair. Generally his quality of life is decent and they get out and about to various old folks groups, meals out with friends, they come to stuff the bairn is in at school etc.
They've said if they operate, there is a very strong possibility that he'll either not recover from it or have another stroke and end up back how he was three years ago or in an even worse state. We've talked about it and decided it's too greater risk and we'd rather see his days out with him being with us and doing things he wants to do rather than him being confused and stuck in a hospital bed not knowing what is going on.
They've assessed him and his heart, lungs and kidneys are all showing signs of failure. They'll do as much as they can to keep him comfortable but it's just a matter of waiting for the inevitable. Nobody can tell how long this will take - could be next week, next month, next year - who knows!
I'm absolutely gutted. I love him so much. He's like a best mate and we have class conversations about footy and stuff and we're always getting into trouble for winding my Mam up. It's so hard this
Pheeew I really dont know what to say.
I can plainly see the dilemma you had to face with advice from those various teams of his Consultants who are in charge of his care. I really can see how you come to your decision and support you that this was the right descision. i.e have the quality time with him forever how long this lasts.
I can only advise is that you must also take care of yourself and your family. The stress you are going through is awful and relentless, but do find time for your own "Me time" it does help you recharge them batteries that keep you going.
I really hope you make this a special family Christmas time and that it continues well into the new year.
Stay strong.
And him being a bloke too probably kept a lot of his feelings inside the same as you. I'd image your dad left this world with the comfort of doing he did a good grand job.
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becs
Guest
Thanks. I've got two days left at work and them I'm off work until the 3rd Jan. Going to spend plenty of time with him. He wants to see Tim Peake's space shuttle which is currently at NRM Shildon, so that's something we're going to do between Christmas and New Year. He's always been keen on astronomy and dragged me out of bed countless times as a child to look at stuff in the sky.
Skandhaless
Striker
Well done mate, rest assured he will have known anyway but the pride in having a son that could tell him will have been the cherry on top.
yorkyexile
Striker
Nowt I can add to what everyone else has said Becs but thoughts are with you as alwaysThey've assessed my Dad and he's too poorly to have it operated on. He had a stroke three years ago while recovering from heart surgery after a heart attack. That left him severely disabled. He's paralysed all down the left side and he couldn't sit up, his mouth was dropped so his speech was slurred and he dribbled when he ate and he didn't always make sense mentally. Fast forward three years and he's made massive improvements. His mouth is pretty much normal now so his speech is clear and he can manage to eat well. Mentally he's sound and you can sit and have a conversation with him and it's like there's nothing wrong with him. He's managed to strengthen his back and hip so he can sit up in a chair/wheelchair and he can do assisted transfers now. If you stand in front of him and hold his torso, he can sort of hug you and bounce his bum between the wheelchair and bed/chair. Generally his quality of life is decent and they get out and about to various old folks groups, meals out with friends, they come to stuff the bairn is in at school etc.
They've said if they operate, there is a very strong possibility that he'll either not recover from it or have another stroke and end up back how he was three years ago or in an even worse state. We've talked about it and decided it's too greater risk and we'd rather see his days out with him being with us and doing things he wants to do rather than him being confused and stuck in a hospital bed not knowing what is going on.
They've assessed him and his heart, lungs and kidneys are all showing signs of failure. They'll do as much as they can to keep him comfortable but it's just a matter of waiting for the inevitable. Nobody can tell how long this will take - could be next week, next month, next year - who knows!
I'm absolutely gutted. I love him so much. He's like a best mate and we have class conversations about footy and stuff and we're always getting into trouble for winding my Mam up. It's so hard this
look out piano
Striker
Awww thank you xxx
Daffy
Striker
Well done mate
You would have regretted not doing that - life’s too short for holding back
sorry for your loss mate.
i lost my dad when i was 17 and never told him i loved him. it sort of grated on me and still does tbh that i never had the balls to say it. we've never been a family that gave each other hugs and kisses, it wasn't done.
when my mam had to go into a home because of her dementia i was sat talking rubbish to her one night and asked her to stand up for me, i gave her a hug and told her i loved her. i wasn't sure if she heard or was taking notice but later on when i was leaving she said i know you do son. broke my heart when she died and still does if i'm honest but at least she's free from pain.
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becs
Guest
Thanks all. Been round there tonight as it's my Mam's birthday.
He seemed quite cheerful and he's had a good reminisce about all sorts of things including Len Shackleton and Bobby Gurney, learning to swim in Dawdon pit pool, accidentally setting a sand hole on Copt Hill on fire and the perils of sliding tackles in the winter when the snow goes up your shorts
He seemed quite cheerful and he's had a good reminisce about all sorts of things including Len Shackleton and Bobby Gurney, learning to swim in Dawdon pit pool, accidentally setting a sand hole on Copt Hill on fire and the perils of sliding tackles in the winter when the snow goes up your shorts
raindog
Winger
I its important to be able to process you own thoughts and emotions otherwise you' ll come out of the other end a wreck yourself. Its the last thing a dad would want. Reflection is crucial take out what you did well and what was fun... memories etc as these are the things you want remember the most.
dom
Striker
Keeping my fingers crossed for him and your family ‘becs’Thanks all. Been round there tonight as it's my Mam's birthday.
He seemed quite cheerful and he's had a good reminisce about all sorts of things including Len Shackleton and Bobby Gurney, learning to swim in Dawdon pit pool, accidentally setting a sand hole on Copt Hill on fire and the perils of sliding tackles in the winter when the snow goes up your shorts
raindog
Winger
Thanks all. Been round there tonight as it's my Mam's birthday.
He seemed quite cheerful and he's had a good reminisce about all sorts of things including Len Shackleton and Bobby Gurney, learning to swim in Dawdon pit pool, accidentally setting a sand hole on Copt Hill on fire and the perils of sliding tackles in the winter when the snow goes up your shorts
Put stuff like this in a dairy if you keep one. I keep a diary with all the good stuff becs. I that's an order
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becs
Guest
Put stuff like this in a dairy if you keep one. I keep a diary with all the good stuff becs. I that's an order
It's stupid things really. One day when I was a bairn, were at his parents and my Grandpa had taken the seat pad off a dining chair as it needed fixing. Our dog came running into the dining room, jumped on the chair and went straight through it. We were in fits of giggles remembering the look on the dogs face. It's daft things like that that I love so much.
D
Deleted member 27423
Guest
Beast wishes x
