Last Text Received

[myleftfoot1978]

8.30?

 

[Hair Flick]

”I’ll do it for $50”

Tidied

 

[Paddy O'Dors]

"Fuck Lyn, or not as the case may be"

 

[DisillusionedOldGit]

Next week might be easiest in terms of childcare for the NWC

 

[chunkyshanhawk53]

“Tuna mate. It’s great for losing weight”

 

[EchoMan]

Welcome to Haven! Did you know that we have a FREE Haven What's On app? Find out what's going on during your stay, park info & more. Download at haven.com/app

 

[Son of Stan]

'We are having a sex party' from @alexander.

Actually untrue - that was whatsapp. My last text was telling me a taxi was arriving, infinitely more boring.

 

[The Lonious Monk]

Actual text between me and my wife last night. Just to prove that I'm f***ing moronic on and off the board:

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[Panhead]

You make me hard

From @GordonMuchallNo1Fan

 

[GordonMuchallNo1Fan]

You make me hard

From @GordonMuchallNo1Fan

That was meant for your lass, sorry about that

 

[MackemBob]

I can pull it Sunday night so it’s ready to go on Monday.

 

[stephen cartwright]

He's dead, Susan xx

 

[glen]

A/C 9958 15Aug. You are close to using your overdraft. This is to let you know if you do use it, daily overdraft fees may apply.

 

[dangermows]

Missed call: this person/number called at 14:22 on 17th Aug but left no message.

Paul Gallagher is fat as fuck.

 

[Aituk7]

I bumped into him this morning and I telt me mate i'm working with at LCCC he's round production, he was complaining about something. Anyway 5 mins later I got that text off him

He is huge like....

 

[dangermows]

I bumped into him this morning and I telt me mate i'm working with at LCCC he's round production, he was complaining about something. Anyway 5 mins later I got that text off him

He is huge like....

He's fat as fuck

 

[Aituk7]

He's fat as fuck

He is... I couldn't believe the size of him. He proper looks like liam and Noel aswell but with an inflatable beach ball for a belly

 

[dangermows]

He is... I couldn't believe the size of him.

 

[Aituk7]

How much of a f***ing failure must he feel. He wasn't in the band... instead he became a plumber, now he's part of liams roadie crew but he's a mess. Haggered as fuck, got a knocking 4th chin on him and in reality he should be doing his best to look like Noel and shag as much fanny as he can. Instead he can't see his cock and has to hope he's aiming at the urinal. And to top it off when he finally gets the impending heart attack they won't even bother to read his will. Noel wrote don't look back in anger, liam became the voice of a generation, Paul put a u-bend in the boardwalk toilets circa 1989.

 

[dangermows]

ffs