Jumper on the bridge

Definitely was the case with our eldest lad - threatened to kill himself many times, usually when he was coming down from a three- or four-day cocaine bender.

We tried to get him to get help but he preferred listening to his arsehole mates. He's now estranged from us, the rest of his family, his ex-girlfriend and their daughter.

After about the fifth occurrence, we simply got fed up of cashing in Bonds, selling cars, clearing our savings accounts, and taking out loans to pay of the debts he had accrued to loan sharks, payday lenders, logbook lenders and drug dealers. His own mother actually asked him to leave the house and not return until his life was in order.

He still owes us, and his last remaining Grandparent, thousands of pounds and we have about as much chance of seeing that repaid as we do of ever seeing our granddaughter and the new one that is on the way by a different girlfriend (whose name we only found about from a swiftly-deleted post on his brother's Facebook page which also contained a photograph of a pregnancy scan).

A whole life wasted because of the increased availabilty of the likes of cocaine, and his inability to resist taking it to excess.
A tale I’m sure that is replicated in innumerable families up and down the country. You and your wife have my deepest sympathies.
I once did a perfunctory drugs course through my employer and the only thing that stuck was the fact that drugs enhance a mood whether it’s a good mood or a bad one.
 


Definitely was the case with our eldest lad - threatened to kill himself many times, usually when he was coming down from a three- or four-day cocaine bender.

We tried to get him to get help but he preferred listening to his arsehole mates. He's now estranged from us, the rest of his family, his ex-girlfriend and their daughter.

After about the fifth occurrence, we simply got fed up of cashing in Bonds, selling cars, clearing our savings accounts, and taking out loans to pay of the debts he had accrued to loan sharks, payday lenders, logbook lenders and drug dealers. His own mother actually asked him to leave the house and not return until his life was in order.

He still owes us, and his last remaining Grandparent, thousands of pounds and we have about as much chance of seeing that repaid as we do of ever seeing our granddaughter and the new one that is on the way by a different girlfriend (whose name we only found about from a swiftly-deleted post on his brother's Facebook page which also contained a photograph of a pregnancy scan).

A whole life wasted because of the increased availabilty of the likes of cocaine, and his inability to resist taking it to excess.

That's so sad, I'm sorry. Could happen to any family, and is happening to many.
 
A tale I’m sure that is replicated in innumerable families up and down the country. You and your wife have my deepest sympathies.
I once did a perfunctory drugs course through my employer and the only thing that stuck was the fact that drugs enhance a mood whether it’s a good mood or a bad one.
That's so sad, I'm sorry. Could happen to any family, and is happening to many.
Cheers, both.

It just wore us down in the end and we realised that it was ruining our lives as well as his. He has a younger brother who is the polar opposite - maybe he's learned from his brother's mistakes - and it also dawned on us that we had been neglecting him in our attempts to sort out his irresponsible, selfish older brother. We simply changed our focus as it was causing rifts that wouldn't have been there had he made even a token effort to help himself.

We've never seen the eldest lad now for almost two years now and the only contact we have is via Facebook Messenger - about one message every two months, usually initiated by his mother. He's nearly thirty years old and we've resigned ourselves to the fact that we'll never have a normal relationship with him and whatever partner he eventually settles down with.
 
Definitely was the case with our eldest lad - threatened to kill himself many times, usually when he was coming down from a three- or four-day cocaine bender.

We tried to get him to get help but he preferred listening to his arsehole mates. He's now estranged from us, the rest of his family, his ex-girlfriend and their daughter.

After about the fifth occurrence, we simply got fed up of cashing in Bonds, selling cars, clearing our savings accounts, and taking out loans to pay of the debts he had accrued to loan sharks, payday lenders, logbook lenders and drug dealers. His own mother actually asked him to leave the house and not return until his life was in order.

He still owes us, and his last remaining Grandparent, thousands of pounds and we have about as much chance of seeing that repaid as we do of ever seeing our granddaughter and the new one that is on the way by a different girlfriend (whose name we only found about from a swiftly-deleted post on his brother's Facebook page which also contained a photograph of a pregnancy scan).

A whole life wasted because of the increased availabilty of the likes of cocaine, and his inability to resist taking it to excess.

aweful that, I don’t know how I would have handled that.
Sounds like you supported him above and beyond until it went too far.
Thank f*ck my kids haven’t dipped into drugs, I always believe it about who there mates are also, supportive mates can help far more than parents.
Sad story mate
 
aweful that, I don’t know how I would have handled that.
Sounds like you supported him above and beyond until it went too far.
Thank f*ck my kids haven’t dipped into drugs, I always believe it about who there mates are also, supportive mates can help far more than parents.
Sad story mate
Was always told early on in my children's lives to have a great influence on who they knock about with.
 
Its not used that often by cops. In 5 years ive used it only 3 times. Probably same for others as well. If you hear someone sectioned you know its pretty bad


It should only be their responsibility in ideal world. Thats what people are saying. It should be the situation where within an hour of police attendance and safe to do so, mental health professional is on scene. It would take millions of investment.


Lets put it this way. Ive been in the situation where subject is sober, having a mental crisis, has no friends or family and is stating that when/if police leave they will harm themselves, around 20 times more than ive used 136. This has usually occurred through the night where there is no street triage and subject is not willing to go to a unit. No response from crisis team and have left 2-3 voicemails. Eventually get through where its a ball ache to get them to believe you that they're not pissed. Many a time this has taken 4+ hours. Some subjects, weve even had a cuppa while waiting. That is not good enough.
Staff at the units have usually been brilliant. This is not from what ive heard but from experience and its not good enough basically. I think we all know that.

yep, there’s no disagreement with that... and that scenario is happening more and more.
There is loads more that should and could be done but there aren’t the teams there for it.
 
Was always told early on in my children's lives to have a great influence on who they knock about with.
Believe me, we tried. Nothing we said or did had any effect.

It just seemed like he was drawn to the 'daft lads' - the wannabe 'gangstas' - because they were 'cooler' - or maybe they were drawn to him and he was the bad influence? Who knows? Nothing would surprise me any more.

Everything we warned him about is coming to pass - he'll be paying the consequences, both mentally and financially, of the sh!t life he's led up to now well into his 50s - possibly for the rest of his life.

Ignorant, stupid waste of a life.
 
Believe me, we tried. Nothing we said or did had any effect.

It just seemed like he was drawn to the 'daft lads' - the wannabe 'gangstas' - because they were 'cooler' - or maybe they were drawn to him and he was the bad influence? Who knows? Nothing would surprise me any more.

Everything we warned him about is coming to pass - he'll be paying the consequences, both mentally and financially, of the sh!t life he's led up to now well into his 50s - possibly for the rest of his life.

Ignorant, stupid waste of a life.
I meant no disrespect in what I posted by the way mate. Somethings can never be in a parents hands no matter how hard we try.
 
a lad in our distant family chucked himself off the tyne bridge, 19 year old i think and had a promising career. Was on the phone to his mate on the way down. Horrible.

My Auntie hasnt recovered at all since as she was close to him.

However im sad to see stuff like 'defund the police' in a thread about suicide, undoubtedly they have helped countless people overcome this type of thing, but politics gets brought into everything these days unfortunately
 
Only if the training is needed.

Of course it's not good enough, it's what happens when a blue light service refers to a service that isn't classed as an emergency service. Most crisis teams are commissioned with a 4 hour response as a target, some don't even run 24 hours a day and are commissioned to respond within 24 hours which is scary.
Things are undoubtedly getting better but there's much room for improvement. I remember the days when people could be waiting with police in 136 suites for 6-10 hours for a crisis or MHA assessment whilst desk sergeants (I think?) were constantly on the phone trying to get their officers to stand down, when the law says they can't. It was scandalous from both health and police.
The north east has the best rated mental health trust in the country but there's still huge improvements that could be made. I've always thought an element of the crisis team should be a blue light service but that will cost huge amounts of money to commision and run and there isn't enough staff to run services already.

Its not really scandalous to want 2 officers out of a mental health hospital when there are immediate incidents coming in with no officers to answer them.
The last bit i think we agree on
 
This. They have dedicated school staff that only deal with child wellbeing now etc along with much more emphasis on mental health


Your right. However if the person is under the influence of alcohol or drugs a mental health team cant assess them. This is the issue for emergency services as they're usually left with someone who has had a skinful to try and take the pain away of what their about to do.
What mental health services need to realise that if someone is willing to go to the extreme of going to the edge of suicide when under the influence they still need to take ownership in order to prevent harm.
Used to hear the sigh of relief from crisis team when you told them they were drunk 'nah sorry they need to be sober'. Used to have play down and be creative to make them out to be less drunk
Reading your posts with interest.

Some of what you've been referring to was basically me at the end of last year.

Was an awful place to be. Made worse by I couldn't get any help.
 
Reading your posts with interest.

Some of what you've been referring to was basically me at the end of last year.

Was an awful place to be. Made worse by I couldn't get any help.

And speaking to people with mental illness, you know you dont need police. Probably become frustrated its us and not a mental health worker and then to compound matters, are required to get in a cage possibly in cuffs to be taken to the professionals. No where near the right service
 
a lad in our distant family chucked himself off the tyne bridge, 19 year old i think and had a promising career. Was on the phone to his mate on the way down. Horrible.

My Auntie hasnt recovered at all since as she was close to him.

However im sad to see stuff like 'defund the police' in a thread about suicide, undoubtedly they have helped countless people overcome this type of thing, but politics gets brought into everything these days unfortunately
This is all about politics and the cut backs to social services and offloading onto the police.
 
Its not really scandalous to want 2 officers out of a mental health hospital when there are immediate incidents coming in with no officers to answer them.
The last bit i think we agree on
It is when the holding power is only enforceable by the police and they were being told to walk away. You've continually looked at this from the policing side only. The same things could easily be said for the crisis team.
You really should go and do the RESPOND training. It's excellent and will help you understand what's going on from all those involved from start to finish.
 
It is when the holding power is only enforceable by the police and they were being told to walk away. You've continually looked at this from the policing side only. The same things could easily be said for the crisis team.
You really should go and do the RESPOND training. It's excellent and will help you understand what's going on from all those involved from start to finish.

Ah another course. Thankfully i dont have to deal with it in my role no more. Maybe the police should put a course on for mental health workers about what we do from start to finish
 
Ah another course. Thankfully i dont have to deal with it in my role no more. Maybe the police should put a course on for mental health workers about what we do from start to finish
Erm, hate to say this but the police already do, it's called the RESPOND training! :lol:
That's the whole point of the training, to increase understanding of everyones role in a mental health crisis.
 
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Definitely was the case with our eldest lad - threatened to kill himself many times, usually when he was coming down from a three- or four-day cocaine bender.

We tried to get him to get help but he preferred listening to his arsehole mates. He's now estranged from us, the rest of his family, his ex-girlfriend and their daughter.

After about the fifth occurrence, we simply got fed up of cashing in Bonds, selling cars, clearing our savings accounts, and taking out loans to pay of the debts he had accrued to loan sharks, payday lenders, logbook lenders and drug dealers. His own mother actually asked him to leave the house and not return until his life was in order.

He still owes us, and his last remaining Grandparent, thousands of pounds and we have about as much chance of seeing that repaid as we do of ever seeing our granddaughter and the new one that is on the way by a different girlfriend (whose name we only found about from a swiftly-deleted post on his brother's Facebook page which also contained a photograph of a pregnancy scan).

A whole life wasted because of the increased availabilty of the likes of cocaine, and his inability to resist taking it to excess.
So sorry to hear that mate. It's every parents worst nightmare.
That’s how my dad went, sadly. It wasn’t the landing but the shock when he went in as it was in the middle of winter and the sudden temperature drop sent him into shock.
I'm sorry mate.
 

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