It will be interesting at work tomorrow

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I've just been in the lifts in a tall building. From the ground floor up there was music playing, relaxing classical pieces by Bizet, Debussy and Ravel. But after the 20th floor the music got switched off. They don't take pleasant airs to that level.
 


I was in the department store enquiring about our wedding rings, when the assistant curtly informed me I'd mistaken the headwear section for the jewellers.

They don't make his'n'hers at hat level.
 
I was working on a new series of adverts for a range of chocolate sweets, like minstrels but with a variety of centres. We filmed a trendy teenager wearing South American ethnic clothes and one of those woolly bobble hats with flaps over the ears. They made us change it; they didn't take to peasant wear and hats with their Revels.
 
I was working with a German fashion designer friend of mine on his range of imitation animal skin clothing along with a north east news anchorman legend. The clothes came out looking dreadful. You don't fake Franz-Otto's furs with Mike Neville.
 
Piers Morgan hit on hard times, being a cunt was no longer considered a reasonable way to make a living so he took up his fathers occupation as an undertaker and often leased the company vehicles out as taxis at a weekend to supplement his income. When 80's pop singer Chris Hamill ( bear with me ) got very drunk one night down the clerb he hailed one of Pier's "cabs". Unfortunately the driver refused to take him claiming
"I can't take Pier's hearse with pissed Limhal"
 

zinedine

Striker
When my Gran was cremated we had this beautiful container made for her ashes, made of really thick glass that refracts light. We wanted to put it up by the stained glass windows at her favourite church but the vicar doesn't take prism urns at that level.
:lol: How long did it take you to think up that?
 
L

LouCarpenter With A Shave

Guest
When Saddam Hussein was hanged he went straight to Hell. Being a good Muslim he had abstained from alcohol all his life. As Saddam was strolling through the gates of hell he was really looking forward to having some of the American infidel's famous Jack Daniels. Saddam headed straight for the nightclub chain Club El Diablo (nicknamed the Devil). He got to the bar and shouted for the barman to come over and ordered a Jack Daniels on the rocks. The barman shook his head and said "I'm sorry, we serve no liquer at this Devil".
 
N

not spavin

Guest
I was speaking to the outgoing VP, Neville Chan, about his career options. He said that he either wanted to work for PETA, or become a royal guard. PETA because he hates animal cruelty, and a royal guard as he loves standing still in a little box while wearing a massive hat. I said that he should steer clear of becoming a royal guard if he's at all bothered about animal conservation.

"Wha' you mean?" enquired Neville Chan. To which I explained "They do wear Grizzly Bears as hats Neville."
 

greedminds

Striker
I was speaking to the outgoing VP, Neville Chan, about his career options. He said that he either wanted to work for PETA, or become a royal guard. PETA because he hates animal cruelty, and a royal guard as he loves standing still in a little box while wearing a massive hat. I said that he should steer clear of becoming a royal guard if he's at all bothered about animal conservation.

"Wha' you mean?" enquired Neville Chan. To which I explained "They do wear Grizzly Bears as hats Neville."
:lol::lol:(black bear btw)
 

Skippy

Midfield
Leonardo Da Vinci was working on an early design for a submarine, when he began to consider the problem of establishing the location of objects whilst under water.
Nobody had thought about this before as this was a time pre-sonar.

Oh fuck it, life's too short.
 

Hoond

Central Defender
Haway man ..Harry is not well....he was also a Durham miner...just in case you didn't know:eek:
I've just read this thread and wasn't aware of the global SMB interest in Harry's Office adventure's.
Will ring him today and ask him to update you all if thats what the people want??
I was told yesterday that he has been seen around town but they have bitten their own legs off rather than stay and listen again to the Office epic. The riveting tales of Harry's various degrees, Durham Mining and Thai hemaphrodites is not the average conversation piece of Singapore's alcoholic intellegensia.

Hopefully Harry will regain his confidence and self respect to inform you all of the VP and his own fate very soon...I will buy him Cider and see if we can conclude this uberstory...
 
D

Deleted member 18809

Guest
Haway man ..Harry is not well....he was also a Durham miner...just in case you didn't know
I've just read this thread and wasn't aware of the global SMB interest in Harry's Office adventure's.
Will ring him today and ask him to update you all if thats what the people want??
I was told yesterday that he has been seen around town but they have bitten their own legs off rather than stay and listen again to the Office epic. The riveting tales of Harry's various degrees, Durham Mining and Thai hemaphrodites is not the average conversation piece of Singapore's alcoholic intellegensia.

Hopefully Harry will regain his confidence and self respect to inform you all of the VP and his own fate very soon...I will buy him Cider and see if we can conclude this uberstory...
:lol: :lol: :lol: :lol:
 

Soz Marra

Striker
Haway man ..Harry is not well....he was also a Durham miner...just in case you didn't know:eek:
I've just read this thread and wasn't aware of the global SMB interest in Harry's Office adventure's.
Will ring him today and ask him to update you all if thats what the people want??
I was told yesterday that he has been seen around town but they have bitten their own legs off rather than stay and listen again to the Office epic. The riveting tales of Harry's various degrees, Durham Mining and Thai hemaphrodites is not the average conversation piece of Singapore's alcoholic intellegensia.

Hopefully Harry will regain his confidence and self respect to inform you all of the VP and his own fate very soon...I will buy him Cider and see if we can conclude this uberstory...
Haway man, Harrys doesn't drink cider at his level.
 

Hoond

Central Defender
Haway man, Harrys doesn't drink cider at his level.
Aye, its harry's tipple, chasser la chasser is lost on us cuturally incomplete folk here....no sign of the intrepid Tolstoy today , so will have to wait for the sequel ...
fancy a cyber book..... The Harry's Office .. I'll begin..

VP. "Harry, I'm in a human resourse vortex and the servers down, can you fix it?"...............

Any budding writers to continue?
 
Aye, its harry's tipple, chasser la chasser is lost on us cuturally incomplete folk here....no sign of the intrepid Tolstoy today , so will have to wait for the sequel ...
fancy a cyber book..... The Harry's Office .. I'll begin..

VP. "Harry, I'm in a human resourse vortex and the servers down, can you fix it?"...............

Any budding writers to continue?
to VP: learn to spell resource and I'll consider it, we don't take spelling bees at this level
 

Copacabana

Midfield
Aye, its harry's tipple, chasser la chasser is lost on us cuturally incomplete folk here....no sign of the intrepid Tolstoy today , so will have to wait for the sequel ...
fancy a cyber book..... The Harry's Office .. I'll begin..

VP. "Harry, I'm in a human resourse vortex and the servers down, can you fix it?"...............

Any budding writers to continue?
Hoond,

Anywhere showing the Hull game (18th April) in Singapore?
 
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