Irrational things your other half does to piss you off...

Herself - 'Which dress should I wear?'

Me - 'That one'

Herself - 'Hmmm. Which shoes? (standing with different shoes on each foot).

Me - Those ones.

Herself - Hmmm.

I go downstairs.

20 minutes later she comes down in a completely different outfit.
 


My one's accent has changed from being normal, to a posh accent. I've pulled her up on it a few times, but she came out with some "Oh, how dare I try to speak properly in front of the kids"? bullshit.

Listen love, I have no problem having the kids speak properly, in fact I encourage it. But not in a posh f***ing accent.
 
She likes to buy them little metal hair clip things. Not to wear it seems, but to randomly place them all over the house

My missus tends to leave said pins in the bathroom. The wettest room in the house. For days so inevitably a rust stain develops on the predominantly light surfaces which is a bitch to get out. So I’ve started picking them up and putting them in the box where they come from.

This morning it was ‘where are the pins I left in the bathroom?’

I’ll add another which involves her and my mother. Now that her children are out of the house my mam has decided to go on a cleaning/tidying spree during lockdown which means the random crap she has accumulated over several years is coming out of the wardrobes/shed. For some reason this also means that said random crap is now coming to my house as my wife is incapable of telling my mam that she doesn’t want something.

This morning I threw several of said items in the skip out the back...
 
Her: where do you think we should put these plants
Me: .... {any answer is wrong but try anyway}..how about here, here and here?
Her: oh no, that won't work, those need sun, those need shade and if you put those there they will be in the flightpath of the honey bees that Mrs whateverthefuck at no.17 keeps.
Me: where's my wine?
 
We were watching something about honour killings just there. However it was spelled honor, the American way.

"Haha, the fools spelled honour wrong".

"No, they didn't. That's how they spell it over there".

"What do ya mean? They just left out the U, or they don't actually have a U in their ABC"?

🤷‍♂️
 
We were watching something about honour killings just there. However it was spelled honor, the American way.

"Haha, the fools spelled honour wrong".

"No, they didn't. That's how they spell it over there".

"What do ya mean? They just left out the U, or they don't actually have a U in their ABC"?

🤷‍♂️
What’s irrational about that? The fact she’s thick as fuck. 🤷‍♂️
 
Just been out, wife had a bottle of water in her handbag which leaked onto her phone (because she didn't close it properly).. guess who got the blame?
 
Denies she's getting drunk, despite drinking the equivalent of 10 cans of lager. She's making these cocktails and putting twice the amount of vodka in to what is in the recipe. When she's starting to get loud and carried away and I ask her are you a bit drunk, she denies it and has a reet hissy fit. "I've only had 5 of them of course not" and off she goes. She's away to bed and was swaying. Forgets that when she buys them in town there's 50ml of vodka instead of the 100ml she's putting in
 
Denies she's getting drunk, despite drinking the equivalent of 10 cans of lager. She's making these cocktails and putting twice the amount of vodka in to what is in the recipe. When she's starting to get loud and carried away and I ask her are you a bit drunk, she denies it and has a reet hissy fit. "I've only had 5 of them of course not" and off she goes. She's away to bed and was swaying. Forgets that when she buys them in town there's 50ml of vodka instead of the 100ml she's putting in
Get stuck into her... She’ll be up for all sorts.
 
Today I said I was going to go round the edges of the garden with the strimmer (didn’t do it the last two times so loads of grass to hack back), cut the grass, weed round the pond then weed one or the other borders. While I was strimming, she came out, cut the grass then tackled one of the borders while I did the pond.

Oh hang on, that wasn’t irrational or annoying
 
One that’s just cropped up lately as she’s working from home, as I do. On her very regular zoom calls her voice goes up several octaves as does all the other women she’s speaking to, normally all at talking over the top of each other. Driving me round the twist.
 

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