Irrational things your other half does to piss you off...

Doing me tits in today

Not like i wasn't warned. Happens every 30 days or so

Might suggest having a baby so I get 9 months of peace without the monthly cycle ruining me weekends
Do it mate. What could go wrong? The instant addition of hundreds of consecutive nights without sleep, possibly while having a virtuoso, shit producing fleshy foghorn that will need a good 45 minute violently aggressive chew of her nipples every 2-4 hours for months on end whilst her hormones are repeatedly hitting the nuclear self destruct button will definitely improve things domestically. Then, after a couple of noisy, hectic years, when things settle down a little you can enjoy the brief respite between the ages of 4 and 13 before it becomes a 3/4 sized human pressure vessel filled with sarcastic disdain, stroppiness, a shark like, all consuming feeding frenzy hunger for your money and the ability to effortlessly turn Mary Poppins into Courtney Love in seconds. I'm told they normally turn out canny again after about 18 or 20 years,
Those months off have a heavy cost.
Pregnant women make rag week women look like angels
They aren't anywhere near as fast when they chase you though.
 
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Do it mate. What could go wrong? The instant addition of hundreds of consecutive nights without sleep, possibly while having a virtuoso, shit producing fleshy foghorn that will need a good 45 minute violently aggressive chew of her nipples every 2-4 hours for months on end whilst her hormones are repeatedly hitting the nuclear self destruct button will definitely improve things domestically. Then, after a couple of noisy, hectic years, when things settle down a little you can enjoy the brief respite between the ages of 4 and 13 before it becomes a 3/4 sized human pressure vessel filled with sarcastic disdain, stroppiness, a shark like, all consuming feeding frenzy hunger for your money and the ability to effortlessly turn Mary Poppins into Courtney Love in seconds. I'm told they normally turn out canny again after about 18 or 20 years,
Those months off have a heavy cost.

They aren't anywhere near as fast when they chase you though.
:lol:

I have got 3 kids I should add
 
Leaves things on the stairs. Particularly things that I have no clue what they are or where they belong. Then walks past them a dozen times when she goes upstairs and never picks a single thing up. There is a little bottle of some "Eucalyptus Essential Oil" that has been there since lockdown started. How "Essential" it is, given that it was apparently bought to be a trip hazard I don't know.

Complains about the "state of our coffee table" and how "She just wants a tidy living room". What she really means is "the one item on the table that's mine makes it untidy, but the 5 magazines, nail file, numerous notepads, shopping lists, makeup removal pads and hair bobbles which belong to her are fine"
 
I think I didn’t pay him enough attention when me dad was poorly. 🤷‍♀️😁
But he never really explained, left and just didn’t really ever come back to explain. 🤣🤣
Ah one of those big baby types that need to be held and told all the time just how special they are.
That is no man then so you are better off :D
 
It has always been this way, ask Alan Jay Lerner. and Professor Higgins


Why can't a woman be more like a man?

Why do they do everything their mothers do?
Why don't they grow up, well, like their father instead?

Why can't a woman take after a man?
Men are so pleasant, so easy to please.
Whenever you're with them, you're always at ease.

One man in a million may shout a bit.
Now and then, there's one with slight defects.
One perhaps whose truthfulness you doubt a bit,
But by and large we are a marvelous sex!
Why can't a woman take after a man?
'Cause men are so friendly, good-natured and kind.
A better companion you never will find.

If I were hours late for dinner would you bellow? Of course not.
If I forgot your silly birthday, would you fuss? Nonsense.
Would you complain if I took out another fellow? Never.
Why can't a woman be like us?
 
Constantly plays games on her phone for the two hours before we go to bed then complains she cant get to sleep, told her staring at the phone screen keeps you awake, told me im full of shit
Similar. Thought women were supposed to be able to multi task. Can't even get a grunt out of her when ask a question.
 
She likes to talk to me from 3 rooms away while I am doing something, then moaning because I said what....

She refuses to be on time for anything.... like yesterday she had an appointment 30 minutes away for work. She left 5 minutes before her appointment. Drives me batty
 
Biggest one for me is her complete inability to open the dishwasher to check if its clean or dirty dishes in there. She just piles it on the top and then when i ask her why she hasnt put them in she declares "well i thought it was full of clean dishes" this game has gone on for at least 15 years. does me tits in
 
Just discovered another one.
Buying toothpaste.

Ran out of Toothpaste this morning. So I added toothpaste to the shopping list on the fridge. Only to be told we have loads. Its kept in a bag under the sink.
She wasnt wrong. 9 different tubes. We have "anti plaque", "whitening" and "Tartar Control".

When I asked why we have so many she replied
"They were on buy 2 get one free... and they never come in wrong".....
 
One more for the list. Despite spending most of her life on the phone, she'll wait until I'm around to ask me to ring a plumber, vet, charity shop etc. It's as if she's incapable of using the phone all of a sudden.
 

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