If we're talking FB messenger it's "We have a new dog coming in, can you do the assessment? It's supposed to be an English Bulldog but I think there's something else in there. Maybe Frenchie?"
If we're talking text message it's "FFS, You won't believe this, well you will cos it's the mags, but I'm looking at a grown woman wearing a tea towel on her head. A f***ing tea towel!! "