Ideas for TV Programmes


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Uphill Gardeners World - Dale Winton get's outdoorsy with homosexual friends

Fern - residents of Ashington show us their Nokias
 
Really Loose Women
4 middle aged 'celebrity' women talk about the runny consistency of their shit for an hour & claiming all men are bastards.
 
Cu.ntry File

an examination of Z list celebrities and their claims to fame.


A Place in your Son

Program filmed in Middlesborough showing the differing attitudes of locals towards the practise of Incest in the town.

may contain graphic scenes and imagery which will leave you depressed as fuck staring at the dreary industrial wasteland and possibly a mag shirt or 2
 
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Tales of the expected

Weekly press conference whereby Steve Bruce blames injuries,suspensions or referees for Sunderlands latest defeat .
 
Britain's Got A Photogenic, Asexual Singer, Who Can Be Marketed In A Way To Appeal To Gullible Girls And Housewives Everywhere, And Make Millions For Simon Cowell In The Process

-self explanatory
 
Gok's Mashing Fix

Heterosexual Gok Wan gets to spend half an hour a week grabbing and mashing women's tits of all shapes and sizes - whilst still trying to convince the world he's gay.
 
This Mourning

Fearne Britton and Phillip Schofield interview celebrities and do cooking pieces at various funerals.
 
Waller vs Wall

We attach Rick Waller to a crane, swing him at a wall, and see which one wins. Start off with something low grade, like plywood, then gradually build up to steel or lead
 
Mock the Geek

Each week a panel of comedians rips the piss out of a hapless freak.

Pimp my Bride

Three desperate men engaged to marry three fat munters compete in a series of challenges to get a number of cosmetic surgeries to 'fix' their missus-to-be.

Cum dine with Me

Seven unsuspecting page 3 models go to the house of a male pornstar for dinner and afterwards take turns to guess the secret ingredient in his mayonnaise.
 
Ready steady fook

The contestants still bring the veg along but ainsley provides the meat. He competes with steve gutenberg each week to satisfy the most women and the loser gets a red tomato inserted into them by the winner.

Re-minder

Arthur is getting on a bit and his memory is going. The script writes itself.

Street Weight

Davina drops weights onto unsuspecting members of the public then runs around interviewing the ones who survive
 
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