I really really need to fart or shite



I’m so pleased you’ve had a shit, I’m so pleased you’ve had a shit.

I’m so pleased, I’m so pleased, I’m so pleased you’ve had a shit. I’m so pleased you’ve had a shit.
 
Foggy’s had his insides wrecked
Raindog rang the nurse and checked
He’s now out of theatre and raring to go
But his bowel movements are incredibly slow
He told RTG how he was constipated
The catheter we know he hated
On the day they took that out
He unhitched metal Mickey and let it all fall out
 
Foggy should join the hallowed ranks of Viz’s section of famous people on the toilet:

Jimmy Cricket - There’s more
Magnus Magnusson - I’ve started so I’ll finish
Neville Chamberlain - I have in my hand a piece of paper
Gary Davis - And now, the sloppy bit
 
@foggy I once read a little ditty etched into a bog door that has helped in times of need
To have a shit with great ease
Place your elbows upon your knees
Rest your head on your thumbs
Give a grunt and out she comes
It's never failed me in times of need, good luck mate!
 
Myself, I'm slightly upset at the desecration of the once pristine hoop. No doubt the denizens of the NHS will be along to give it a spruce-up soon.
 
If this is the bowel movement thread, I'm currently on number three of christ knows how many because I had an iffy curry last night.....
 

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