I have something to do which I am at a loss to prepare for.

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A bit harsh? I think that @dom was implying that it's difficult to offer advice when a lot of people haven't had to deal with this situation. Sometimes things can be easily misconstrued on here but I've found him to be a sound bloke.
Wew read the thread man I have since conducted a speedy reverse manoeuvre and apologised to the fine gentleman for misinterpreting his post.
 


So sorry to hear you never got to see him. Similar situation here, my mam has been told this morning my uncles test results have came back last night and he has an inoperable brain tumour so he's been allowed home today, she goes on holiday Monday and has been told to go through today as it's not thought he'll be here when she gets home.
 
So sorry to hear you never got to see him. Similar situation here, my mam has been told this morning my uncles test results have came back last night and he has an inoperable brain tumour so he's been allowed home today, she goes on holiday Monday and has been told to go through today as it's not thought he'll be here when she gets home.

Sorry to hear that mate. Your mam's going to have an odd holiday, eh?
 
Sorry to hear that mate. Your mam's going to have an odd holiday, eh?

I think it's Kind of bittersweet as hes been poorly for a long time and hasn't been himself for a good while of that. She last saw him on Monday and he's deteriorated a lot since then
 
Oh hell. Just read this from the beginning and wasn't expecting that ending.
I'm sure what you're feeling is perfectly normal in this situation so don't worry.
 
I started off reading this thinking it was about a lad struggling with the concept of people growing up and having families when he still wants the laddish boozy life style but ended it feeling really moved.
If I were you, just go in a treat him as you always did. Insult his dress sense, his taste in music. Have all the banter you used to have. Reminisce about the old days. Just have a laugh with him. he`ll probably be sick of people tip-toing around him. Just go there and be yourself.
 
Thanks for all the good advice people. Unfortunately I'm not going to have the chance to use it. I was planning to go and see my pal this afternoon, but got a call from his wife half an hour agoto tell me that he took bad yesterday and passed away quickly. I said what everyone says in situations like this, "II'm so sorry blah blah.....it's a good thing he was spared too much suffering blah blah blah". His now widow told me she is in shock and will be in touch about the funeral.

I'm so glad for him that he got a quick getaway, but there's a horrible selfish shrivelled part of me that is relieved that I have been spared the distressing last conversation with my mate. I'll remember him as I knew him.
So sorry to read about this mate but this is a very nice and important line to finish your comment with and the best way forward. No regrets but only love and wonderful happy thoughts of a good friend!!
 
In my early twenties there was a group of us who kicked around together like all twenty-somethings do. We were always together, living in each others' pockets. As we got older we all drifted apart from each other with families being raised etc.

There is one bloke though with whom I shared an almost identical sense of humour and with whom I spent more time and had better "adventures". We haven't been out for a pint together for at least fifteen years despite bumping into each other in Asda a couple of times a year and promising to contact each other for a night in the pub, which of course we never did, as we have years ahead of us to do that. The other lads from our group have all basically turned into people I would no longer want to spend time with as they have got older. But the lad I am talking about is a bloke I have a great regard for.

Yesterday I got a phone call from his wife to tell me he has been given two weeks to live, having been diagnosed with cancer throughout his body. She said her husband would like to see me before he dies and I gladly agreed to go and visit him.

Problem is I do not know what to say to him. His wife says he's ok about his impending fate but that doesn't really help. What do you say to a pal who knows he is about to die, and knows that you know as well??

When it is time to leave him for the last time, how do I say goodbye??

God, I'm filling up typing this.

A good friend of mine had terminal cancer and died in 2015 aged 29. He was understandably really struggling towards the end but I always kept as normal as possible, told him he was a scruff for being in pjs all the time etc.

With you both having the same sense of humour have you had an in joke over the years or daft nicknames? I'd start wih that marra.

Goes without saying but be as strong as you can, I'm feeling emotional thinking about my mate now but stiff upper lip and take his mind off it as best you can.
 
You all need to read this thread through before replying. His friend has since died.

I am so sorry for your loss @Scimmy. I can't imagine all the different emotions you must be going through at this time :neutral:.
 
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If you have the same humour what would you want him to say to you if the roles were reversed? This is the starter.

Try not to get over emotional, talk about the good times?

Good luck mate.

Shit sorry. Didn't read all the threat. Sorry for your loss.
 
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