I have something to do which I am at a loss to prepare for.

Discussion in 'SMB' started by Scimmy, May 18, 2017.

  1. Scimmy

    Scimmy Striker

    In my early twenties there was a group of us who kicked around together like all twenty-somethings do. We were always together, living in each others' pockets. As we got older we all drifted apart from each other with families being raised etc.

    There is one bloke though with whom I shared an almost identical sense of humour and with whom I spent more time and had better "adventures". We haven't been out for a pint together for at least fifteen years despite bumping into each other in Asda a couple of times a year and promising to contact each other for a night in the pub, which of course we never did, as we have years ahead of us to do that. The other lads from our group have all basically turned into people I would no longer want to spend time with as they have got older. But the lad I am talking about is a bloke I have a great regard for.

    Yesterday I got a phone call from his wife to tell me he has been given two weeks to live, having been diagnosed with cancer throughout his body. She said her husband would like to see me before he dies and I gladly agreed to go and visit him.

    Problem is I do not know what to say to him. His wife says he's ok about his impending fate but that doesn't really help. What do you say to a pal who knows he is about to die, and knows that you know as well??

    When it is time to leave him for the last time, how do I say goodbye??

    God, I'm filling up typing this.
    niceonemarra likes this.
  2. dom

    dom Striker

    I really have no idea mate.
  3. Sleepy

    Sleepy Striker

    There is no answer here. Go and let it be natural. Have some crack and don't mope around.
  4. Kevj

    Kevj Winger

    Awful situation to be in for both of you. Just go and try to have the same crack as you always did. He might need that right now.
  5. mux

    mux Striker Contributor

    Just be strong for your old mate Scimmy. He will want to reminisce and obviously holds you in very high regard to want to see you before he dies. Be an excellent friend and make him laugh. Good luck, I don't envy you but you can make a massive difference to his last few days of life.

  6. Pilner

    Pilner Central Defender

    I fancy he wants a catch up about happier times and won't want your sympathy or you feeling down etc although it will be hard.a good old man hug won't do you wrong marra.all the best
  7. tooliohelmet

    tooliohelmet Midfield

    Go and see him and he'll still be the same person you remembered. You'll regret it if you dont.
  8. Scimmy

    Scimmy Striker

    That's the problem. For some reason over the last few years I have become quite an emotional person. Our lass says I shouldn't go to see him 'cos I'll start crying and that'll knack the job.
  9. dom

    dom Striker

    Why? For showing empathy for his dilemma?
    Stevie Freestein II likes this.
  10. Pilner

    Pilner Central Defender

    Your only human mate
  11. Scimmy

    Scimmy Striker

    There's no question that I'll dodge visiting him Marra.
  12. Sleepy

    Sleepy Striker

    Even if you do though, still gotta go. Don't leave him hanging in a situation like this mate.

    It's hard, very hard, but it's gotta be done mate.
    Batdad likes this.
  13. Skandhaless

    Skandhaless Striker

    If he has asked to see you he will have something to say . Let him say it and take it from there . Just don't be shy in the final instance of telling him the regard you have had for him despite no seeing a lot of each other , no points for a manly punch on the arm
    York likes this.
  14. Cowvahlo

    Cowvahlo Striker

    Try not to avoid the elephant in the room, ask about the cancer, how is about everything. Reminisce, have a laugh, have a cry, have a hug and be there fo him. You might get a lot out of it too.

    Shit situation mate, sorry it's happening.
  15. Mate that's awful. Can't offer any advice. Just go and make him laugh.
  16. dangermows

    dangermows Striker

    Just be normal mate, have a laugh and and act as if he isn't soon to sign off. Easier said than done but he will want that.
    Daffy likes this.
  17. Arkle

    Arkle Striker Contributor

    Try and hold it together, talk about what he wants to talk about, ask about his condition but don't dwell on it. It's a difficult position to be in but you may well make him feel a lot happier for a day at least.
  18. Good advice, I could not add anymore to this.

    Btw, I don't think Dom was trying to be funny or nasty. His comment was just letting Scrimmy know he was acknowledging the difficulty in the op and being honest in not being able to offer advice.
  19. dangermows

    dangermows Striker

  20. palm 1

    palm 1 Winger

    Ignore you're missus and get your arse over there. So fuck if you get emotional. He will have seen and shed plenty of tears already.
    its obviously important to him and you'll end up feeling much worse if he passes away and you haven't been over.

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