I have something to do which I am at a loss to prepare for.

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In my early twenties there was a group of us who kicked around together like all twenty-somethings do. We were always together, living in each others' pockets. As we got older we all drifted apart from each other with families being raised etc.

There is one bloke though with whom I shared an almost identical sense of humour and with whom I spent more time and had better "adventures". We haven't been out for a pint together for at least fifteen years despite bumping into each other in Asda a couple of times a year and promising to contact each other for a night in the pub, which of course we never did, as we have years ahead of us to do that. The other lads from our group have all basically turned into people I would no longer want to spend time with as they have got older. But the lad I am talking about is a bloke I have a great regard for.

Yesterday I got a phone call from his wife to tell me he has been given two weeks to live, having been diagnosed with cancer throughout his body. She said her husband would like to see me before he dies and I gladly agreed to go and visit him.

Problem is I do not know what to say to him. His wife says he's ok about his impending fate but that doesn't really help. What do you say to a pal who knows he is about to die, and knows that you know as well??

When it is time to leave him for the last time, how do I say goodbye??

God, I'm filling up typing this.
 


In my early twenties there was a group of us who kicked around together like all twenty-somethings do. We were always together, living in each others' pockets. As we got older we all drifted apart from each other with families being raised etc.

There is one bloke though with whom I shared an almost identical sense of humour and with whom I spent more time and had better "adventures". We haven't been out for a pint together for at least fifteen years despite bumping into each other in Asda a couple of times a year and promising to contact each other for a night in the pub, which of course we never did, as we have years ahead of us to do that. The other lads from our group have all basically turned into people I would no longer want to spend time with as they have got older. But the lad I am talking about is a bloke I have a great regard for.

Yesterday I got a phone call from his wife to tell me he has been given two weeks to live, having been diagnosed with cancer throughout his body. She said her husband would like to see me before he dies and I gladly agreed to go and visit him.

Problem is I do not know what to say to him. His wife says he's ok about his impending fate but that doesn't really help. What do you say to a pal who knows he is about to die, and knows that you know as well??

When it is time to leave him for the last time, how do I say goodbye??

God, I'm filling up typing this.

Just be strong for your old mate Scimmy. He will want to reminisce and obviously holds you in very high regard to want to see you before he dies. Be an excellent friend and make him laugh. Good luck, I don't envy you but you can make a massive difference to his last few days of life.

I really have no idea mate.
Idiot
 
There is no answer here. Go and let it be natural. Have some crack and don't mope around.

That's the problem. For some reason over the last few years I have become quite an emotional person. Our lass says I shouldn't go to see him 'cos I'll start crying and that'll knack the job.
 
Just be strong for your old mate Scimmy. He will want to reminisce and obviously holds you in very high regard to want to see you before he dies. Be an excellent friend and make him laugh. Good luck, I don't envy you but you can make a massive difference to his last few days of life.


Idiot
Why? For showing empathy for his dilemma?
 
That's the problem. For some reason over the last few years I have become quite an emotional person. Our lass says I shouldn't go to see him 'cos I'll start crying and that'll knack the job.
Your only human mate
 
That's the problem. For some reason over the last few years I have become quite an emotional person. Our lass says I shouldn't go to see him 'cos I'll start crying and that'll knack the job.

Even if you do though, still gotta go. Don't leave him hanging in a situation like this mate.

It's hard, very hard, but it's gotta be done mate.
 
In my early twenties there was a group of us who kicked around together like all twenty-somethings do. We were always together, living in each others' pockets. As we got older we all drifted apart from each other with families being raised etc.

There is one bloke though with whom I shared an almost identical sense of humour and with whom I spent more time and had better "adventures". We haven't been out for a pint together for at least fifteen years despite bumping into each other in Asda a couple of times a year and promising to contact each other for a night in the pub, which of course we never did, as we have years ahead of us to do that. The other lads from our group have all basically turned into people I would no longer want to spend time with as they have got older. But the lad I am talking about is a bloke I have a great regard for.

Yesterday I got a phone call from his wife to tell me he has been given two weeks to live, having been diagnosed with cancer throughout his body. She said her husband would like to see me before he dies and I gladly agreed to go and visit him.

Problem is I do not know what to say to him. His wife says he's ok about his impending fate but that doesn't really help. What do you say to a pal who knows he is about to die, and knows that you know as well??

When it is time to leave him for the last time, how do I say goodbye??

God, I'm filling up typing this.
If he has asked to see you he will have something to say . Let him say it and take it from there . Just don't be shy in the final instance of telling him the regard you have had for him despite no seeing a lot of each other , no points for a manly punch on the arm
 
In my early twenties there was a group of us who kicked around together like all twenty-somethings do. We were always together, living in each others' pockets. As we got older we all drifted apart from each other with families being raised etc.

There is one bloke though with whom I shared an almost identical sense of humour and with whom I spent more time and had better "adventures". We haven't been out for a pint together for at least fifteen years despite bumping into each other in Asda a couple of times a year and promising to contact each other for a night in the pub, which of course we never did, as we have years ahead of us to do that. The other lads from our group have all basically turned into people I would no longer want to spend time with as they have got older. But the lad I am talking about is a bloke I have a great regard for.

Yesterday I got a phone call from his wife to tell me he has been given two weeks to live, having been diagnosed with cancer throughout his body. She said her husband would like to see me before he dies and I gladly agreed to go and visit him.

Problem is I do not know what to say to him. His wife says he's ok about his impending fate but that doesn't really help. What do you say to a pal who knows he is about to die, and knows that you know as well??

When it is time to leave him for the last time, how do I say goodbye??

God, I'm filling up typing this.
Try not to avoid the elephant in the room, ask about the cancer, how is about everything. Reminisce, have a laugh, have a cry, have a hug and be there fo him. You might get a lot out of it too.

Shit situation mate, sorry it's happening.
 
Just be normal mate, have a laugh and and act as if he isn't soon to sign off. Easier said than done but he will want that.
 
Try and hold it together, talk about what he wants to talk about, ask about his condition but don't dwell on it. It's a difficult position to be in but you may well make him feel a lot happier for a day at least.
 
Just be strong for your old mate Scimmy. He will want to reminisce and obviously holds you in very high regard to want to see you before he dies. Be an excellent friend and make him laugh. Good luck, I don't envy you but you can make a massive difference to his last few days of life.


Idiot
Good advice, I could not add anymore to this.


Btw, I don't think Dom was trying to be funny or nasty. His comment was just letting Scrimmy know he was acknowledging the difficulty in the op and being honest in not being able to offer advice.
 
That's the problem. For some reason over the last few years I have become quite an emotional person. Our lass says I shouldn't go to see him 'cos I'll start crying and that'll knack the job.
Ignore you're missus and get your arse over there. So fuck if you get emotional. He will have seen and shed plenty of tears already.
its obviously important to him and you'll end up feeling much worse if he passes away and you haven't been over.
 
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