How to get your kids to sleep

Usually just leave them in their room playing on the PlayStation til they fall asleep. Usually drop off about 1am. Not ideal on school days but means they havea canny lie in at the weekend


Central Defender
I used to inflict my shite guitar playing on my little girl.
It always seemed to work but I always wondered if she was just shutting her eyes and thinking "ffs dad, not again"
Anyway she's now 14 and recently asked me what the song was that I used to play because she wants to try and learn it. I felt about 12 feet tall.
The song was Sad Eye by the Pretty Things.
I came across a particularly boring chapter of the Weirdstone of Brasingamen (an otherwise good read for kids) so I read it again four nights in a row and each time - out like a light. On night five this sleepy voice asks if we've already read this bit.

Great whilst it lasted. I'm trying the financial times next week.


By not producing any i have avoided any child related annoyances.

I recommend trying that.
They come in handy in other ways though. Like when was the last time you went down the slide in a soft play without people shouting “nonce alert”.