How Resiliant Are You?



I'm not resilient at all.
I'm the complete opposite. Extremely fragile and sensitive. I usually burst into tears if somebody is a little bir terse with me. If there's ever any serious issues to deal with, I usually just end up in bed crying for a week.
 
Thought I was. I spent the best years of most people’s lives (19-22) on dialysis and eventually having a kidney transplant. Obviously this has led to a life of constant in-and-out of hospitals with various side issues. It never really bothered me. I suffered some shit jobs, some unemployment and some more shit, unfulfilling jobs until I grasped my opportunity to become a tattooist and never really have to ‘work’ another day in my life. As I said, I thought I was a bit of an emotional superman! Then my wife left me out of the blue and I was (and still am) fucked. I’ve never known existential pain like it, and nothing works to satiate it, I try to be nice, I try to be evil (as fuck...like....proper horrible) and nothing really makes me feel better. I’ve moved on from the initial self-pity and black hole of despair, but I’m still waiting for the nagging pain that arrives just before sleep and just after waking to abate. I sometimes dream about her, and in the dreams she basically leaves me over and over again.....and if anyone has any ideas how I can become friends with my subconscious again, I’d love to hear them. I’d swap it all for a little thing like kidney failure and a few years on dialysis. It’s literally the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.

So....I was resilient, to a point. It seems that point was my perceived existence falling apart. And I reckon that’s fair enough.
 
Thought I was. I spent the best years of most people’s lives (19-22) on dialysis and eventually having a kidney transplant. Obviously this has led to a life of constant in-and-out of hospitals with various side issues. It never really bothered me. I suffered some shit jobs, some unemployment and some more shit, unfulfilling jobs until I grasped my opportunity to become a tattooist and never really have to ‘work’ another day in my life. As I said, I thought I was a bit of an emotional superman! Then my wife left me out of the blue and I was (and still am) fucked. I’ve never known existential pain like it, and nothing works to satiate it, I try to be nice, I try to be evil (as fuck...like....proper horrible) and nothing really makes me feel better. I’ve moved on from the initial self-pity and black hole of despair, but I’m still waiting for the nagging pain that arrives just before sleep and just after waking to abate. I sometimes dream about her, and in the dreams she basically leaves me over and over again.....and if anyone has any ideas how I can become friends with my subconscious again, I’d love to hear them. I’d swap it all for a little thing like kidney failure and a few years on dialysis. It’s literally the worst thing that’s ever happened to me.

So....I was resilient, to a point. It seems that point was my perceived existence falling apart. And I reckon that’s fair enough.
If say most folks would have a bit of a wobble in similar circumstances. Don’t go beating yourself up.

I’m no counsellor mind, but it might be worth jotting along to the Depression thread, even if you’re not suffering depression, as that seems to be a place on here where others who have experienced similar life changing events can talk openly, and without fear of being shamed or ridiculed, and there’s some good life techniques and coping strategies discussed.

Genuinely hope you see your way through this, marra.
 
Some people think that they are but their worst life experience has been the time that Instagram was unavailable for 3 hours.

I thought that I was until our 4 week old baby was on a children’s ward for 2 weeks. It wasn’t life threatening but I struggled at times when it was my turn to stay on the ward at night time. And that was totally insignificant compared to what the kids were facing, and they were as brave as f@ck.
 
Some people think that they are but their worst life experience has been the time that Instagram was unavailable for 3 hours.

I thought that I was until our 4 week old baby was on a children’s ward for 2 weeks. It wasn’t life threatening but I struggled at times when it was my turn to stay on the ward at night time. And that was totally insignificant compared to what the kids were facing, and they were as brave as f@ck.
I've had plenty of ups and downs in life but nothing compared to losing or thinking you may lose a child. My 7 year old had heart surgery within an hour of being born and his 3rd lot saw him have an 11 hour operation and in an induced coma for 3 weeks with his ribcage wide open covered in clingfilm. This is the only thing that has really made me feel completely helpless.

I'm in hospital atm after keeling over in the doctors surgery this morning. I stopped breathing for 5 minutes, the doctor couldn't find a pulse and I got blue lighted to hospital in an ambulance but it doesn't even compare to the thoughts of losing a child.
 
I've had plenty of ups and downs in life but nothing compared to losing or thinking you may lose a child. My 7 year old had heart surgery within an hour of being born and his 3rd lot saw him have an 11 hour operation and in an induced coma for 3 weeks with his ribcage wide open covered in clingfilm. This is the only thing that has really made me feel completely helpless.

I'm in hospital atm after keeling over in the doctors surgery this morning. I stopped breathing for 5 minutes, the doctor couldn't find a pulse and I got blue lighted to hospital in an ambulance but it doesn't even compare to the thoughts of losing a child.
Hope all is ok and they patch you up.
 
I've had plenty of ups and downs in life but nothing compared to losing or thinking you may lose a child. My 7 year old had heart surgery within an hour of being born and his 3rd lot saw him have an 11 hour operation and in an induced coma for 3 weeks with his ribcage wide open covered in clingfilm. This is the only thing that has really made me feel completely helpless.

I'm in hospital atm after keeling over in the doctors surgery this morning. I stopped breathing for 5 minutes, the doctor couldn't find a pulse and I got blue lighted to hospital in an ambulance but it doesn't even compare to the thoughts of losing a child.
I hope that you are okay, keep us posted.
 
Hope all is ok and they patch you up.
I'm out now. Nowt wrong with my heart. I went in because I've been feeling light headed all week and I passed out while he was taking my BP, pulse etc. GP thought I had gone into cardiac arrest because I stopped breathing and had no pulse but the cardiologist said my heart is fine. I'm still none the wiser how I can be 'dead' then walk out of the hospital 5 hours later. I just remember hearing shouting that I'd arrested and opened my eyes to see paramedics coming at me with the defibrillator. I remember saying you're not putting that on me, I'm alive :lol:.

I hope that you are okay, keep us posted.
I'm alive mate. It's not even in the top 10 stressful things that has happened to me :D.
 
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I'd have bit their hands off for that like.

Sometimes I regret it but I’d not have met some of the people that are most important to me now and I’m not sure being retired early 30’s would’ve been good for my mental health either. I’ve gone on to earn a lot more than I was offered but aye some days when I’m struggling I think it was daft - I was and still an obstinate cow really so when I was told I wouldn’t be able to do something it triggered a response in me that I would ...
 
Life’s hard, everyone copes with each situation no matter how small or big differently. One small handling of a situation could be a big one to someone else......that’s what makes us individuals, in other words man up or women up, or f*ck manning up and handle it your own way. We don’t have to act the way society expects us to, it’s ok to handle a situation the way you feel it should be handled.
 

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