how does one tell their mrs

[Grammar Police]

Do nothing.

You married her for better or for worse; not for fatter or for thinner. I'd suggest that sooner or later she will make some comment about her weight and then its your time to step in.

Do anything else and youre in a world of hurt.

Anyway as she gets fatter her tits will get bigger. There is an upside to everything.

But that's offset by the fat arse getting fatter, no overall gain.

 

[TheWanderer]

The wife never has to tell me I’m hoying the timber on, the kids do a pretty good job of mentioning my gut all the time!

If you’ve got young kids, get them to do the dirty work for you.

 

[Spennymackem1981]

Imagine being called a fatty by once a day kebab man !!

stopped all that shit and doing at least an hour of cardio + 8,000 steps everyday

The wife never has to tell me I’m hoying the timber on, the kids do a pretty good job of mentioning my gut all the time!

If you’ve got young kids, get them to do the dirty work for you.

they would grass me up mate

 

[butcher]

play this song on loop, she will get the hint

 

[the boot]

stopped all that shit and doing at least an hour of cardio + 8,000 steps everyday




they would grass me up mate

Take her to see chubby brown (front row seats) arrive late. Let that kernt do it. Steam out in disgust and be the shoulder to cry on.
Job done and you are her hero.

 

[Old Timer]

Suggest a date night when she can wear that dress she wore where you fell in love with her.

 

[supersesh]

I deal with this via work, your best bet is to go along the health risk issue... diabetes, heart disease, and cancer all increased chances because of obesity.

Start a health kick yourself after “reading some worry news about the above” and get her to join in with you.

 

[Mantobar]

Tell her to run 5 miles everyday. Then after a week the fatty will be 35 miles away from you

 

[Deleted member 40288]

Whenever she take a few steps backwards do the beep, beep, noise of a reversing HGV?

 

[Deleted member 559]

Get one of these to stick on the car when she gets in.

Logon or register to see this image

 

[Makcem Crihs]

Make retching noises when you see her with nowt on

 

[max wartbug]

When she sits on the settee jump up and shout whey hey.....

Brilliant.

You could also slide across in to her.

 

[Mary Hinge]

Brilliant.

You could also slide across in to her.

Is ya floor on a slope like?

 

[Deleted member 40857]

Change her name by deed poll to Betty Sweaver.
She’ll get the hint when the letter arrives from the registry.

 

[myleftfoot1978]

Ask her to weigh herself, when she stands on pretend to be the scales, in a scales like voice say 1 at a time please

 

[fyl2u]

that's shes fat and needs to loose some weightand that she has let herself go...

asking for a friend.

Loosen the screws on any chairs she tends to sit in, so that they fall apart when she sits down.

Move the fridge and all food cupboards into the loft so that she has plenty of stairs to climb to retrieve any.

Sell your car and buy a couple of pushbikes.

Secretly make all the doorways in your house thinner so that she struggles to get through them.

Convert your house electrics to treadmill-powered so that she has to be constantly running to power the TV.

Take all her clothes to a haberdashery and get the waists taken in a couple of inches without telling her.

 

[I'm Spartacus]

that's shes fat and needs to loose some weightand that she has let herself go...

asking for a friend.

Just put this on repeat.

 

[dangermows]

Shrink all of her clothes.

 

[knarfw]

Leave a trail of pies to the bathroom scales.

 

[BigPete]

Buy a shirt for when you next go out with Im with tubster and an arrow pointing towards her on it.