How big can a house spider grow?

safcrob

Midfield
I heard they only grow to about the size of a 10p coin, well that's bollocks because the one i spotted back of the bog was about the size of a cream egg, it actually looked like a cream egg with legs, it was probably female because they tend to be bigger and they lay their eggs around this time of year, thank fuck they only lay about three.
 
I heard they only grow to about the size of a 10p coin, well that's bollocks because the one i spotted back of the bog was about the size of a cream egg, it actually looked like a cream egg with legs, it was probably female because they tend to be bigger and they lay their eggs around this time of year, thank fuck they only lay about three.
Depends how big your house is, they're like fish, bigger the tank bigger the fish will grow.
 
I was once bucking a lass at hers, she was on top bucking back and suddenly she froze and let out a loud scream. It shocked me and I thought 'What the fuck, surely this is nowt to do with me?'. She then shouted "SPIDER!!!" and jumped off fast as fuck. I turned my head quickly, still in full stott on and look at the wall behind my head.
The biggest House Spider that I had ever seen was just a few inches above my head on the wall, I nearly shit myself and jumped up fast as fuck, heart racing!!
As this lasses naked body was shaking with fear, she shouted "I'll get the hoover and hoover it up". I shouted "No!! get me a cup and a letter, I'll get rid of it" stating to her that we cannot kill it.
She brought up a cup and as I went to put the cup over it, it's legs were sticking out like fuck!! I did not want to damage its legs, so turned to her and said slowly and calmly, "We need a bigger cup", bit like what happened in the film Jaws.
She brought up a large food container and I got rid of the massive bastard using that. Chucked it out of her bedroom window, set it free!! sadly the bonking did not resume after that, because this scary event killed the passion in us both.

It was more than twice as large as this spider below and I have never seen a House Spider as large ever since.

 

AlpineExile

Striker
I was once bucking a lass at hers, she was on top bucking back and suddenly she froze and let out a loud scream. It shocked me and I thought 'What the fuck, surely this is nowt to do with me?'. She then shouted "SPIDER!!!" and jumped off fast as fuck. I turned my head quickly, still in full stott on and look at the wall behind my head.
The biggest House Spider that I had ever seen was just a few inches above my head on the wall, I nearly shit myself and jumped up fast as fuck, heart racing!!
As this lasses naked body was shaking with fear, she shouted "I'll get the hoover and hoover it up". I shouted "No!! get me a cup and a letter, I'll get rid of it" stating to her that we cannot kill it.
She brought up a cup and as I went to put the cup over it, it's legs were sticking out like fuck!! I did not want to damage its legs, so turned to her and said slowly and calmly, "We need a bigger cup", bit like what happened in the film Jaws.
She brought up a large food container and I got rid of the massive bastard using that. Chucked it out of her bedroom window, set it free!! sadly the bonking did not resume after that, because this scary event killed the passion in us both.

It was more than twice as large as this spider below and I have never seen a House Spider as large ever since.

One of my sisters was like that.

Not the bonking part, but the screaming like a wet fanny over a spider until I removed it for her. She's four years older than me, ffs. :rolleyes:
 

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