Hearing the Neighbours

I presume we are the noisy ones in a semi-detached, live next door to a teacher lass who lives alone.

Mind, I did tell her to sort her alarm out on a morning as it woke me up everyday at 6.30 and she kept snoozing the fucker - I politely asked if she could either put it on later, move the alarm or stop being a lazy twat.
 


Live next to OAP’s, only ever hear her sneezing occasionally.

Always asked who lived next door when we were looking to buy, any house with OAP’s next door was bumped to the top of the list.
 
When I lived in Barclay court the bloke kept pigs in the downstairs flat.Noisy bastards, my hens couldn't get to sleep for them.
 
The one out back likes to sing and play the f***ing ukulele in the back garden. One on one side is a builder and a decent enough bloke but obviously has about a million powertools and shit choice of radio station like all builders, the other side is an absolute steaming arsehole who has late night garden parties every single night of every weekend from about March through to October.

There's some who must have moved in recently though who have some amazingly badly behaved kids - the language and bickering coming over into our garden has been nuts this week - and the mum's just been out absolutely letting rip at them yet again. Makes me feel quite pleased mine aren't the loudest and most feral around here on occasions.
 
Used to have a neighbour in Durham who used to regularly cause a rukus over the road.

Every few days or so we'd see him carrying a few slabs of lager back home in the afternoon. Then at 10:00 pm sharp wed hear him playing James Blunt on repeat at full volume (must have had git massive speakers) which would go on until about 8:00 or 9:00am, presumably crying to himself and wanking constantly. His front door was so regularly kicked in (not a euphemism btw) by the rozzers (and various locals) that it was a piece of plywood held on by string.
 
When I was a student I called the police as I woke up one morning to the sound of the man next door screaming at his wife saying he was going to cut her into pieces. She was screaming and then I heard their child shriek ‘daddy stop!’ and the mum begging don’t do it in front of the kids.

Rang the police and got out the house ASAP. Got a call back from the police who attended (they got there in minutes) who told me that they were arguing because the kids were going to be late for school. I told them that wasn’t what happened, I heard it all, and the police just said that’s what they said happened, nowt they could do.

I then worried for months if the nutter next door would ever find out I called the police and if he’d try that on me :eek:
 
Julio_legend said:
When I was a student I called the police as I woke up one morning to the sound of the man next door screaming at his wife saying he was going to cut her into pieces. She was screaming and then I heard their child shriek ‘daddy stop!’ and the mum begging don’t do it in front of the kids.

Rang the police and got out the house ASAP. Got a call back from the police who attended (they got there in minutes) who told me that they were arguing because the kids were going to be late for school. I told them that wasn’t what happened, I heard it all, and the police just said that’s what they said happened, nowt they could do.

I then worried for months if the nutter next door would ever find out I called the police and if he’d try that on me :eek:
Click to expand...

Soft shite ;)
 

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