End of Life Pathway



Sad news, mate. My Mam passed about six months ago using the 'end of life' protocols, and it was actually quite beautiful in a way and totally pain free. You have time for the family to come and say goodbye, and you are left with a vigil until the end comes, to share with those closest to you. Just talk and be re-assuring: don't be afraid to repeat yourself because he will just hear your voice not the content, and I think that is very comforting on both sides. It left me with a strange feeling of satisfaction. It was a 'good death', if there can be such a thing.
 
Sad news, mate. My Mam passed about six months ago using the 'end of life' protocols, and it was actually quite beautiful in a way and totally pain free. You have time for the family to come and say goodbye, and you are left with a vigil until the end comes, to share with those closest to you. Just talk and be re-assuring: don't be afraid to repeat yourself because he will just hear your voice not the content, and I think that is very comforting on both sides. It left me with a strange feeling of satisfaction. It was a 'good death', if there can be such a thing.
So true mate.
 
Issue is I now live in the US. From what I can gather from the hospital it looks likely to happen in the next day or so. Don't know whether to get a flight now or wait for the inevitable and fly over for funeral.
 
Issue is I now live in the US. From what I can gather from the hospital it looks likely to happen in the next day or so. Don't know whether to get a flight now or wait for the inevitable and fly over for funeral.
Shite news matey. Only you know your circumstances, regarding time off etc but if it were me i`d try and make it. I`ve not been there when one or two popped off and have regretted it a bit since
 
I can't say that either parent had a lovely end. Mam had a stroke and hung on for 2 months, however I didn't feel guilty saying 'just let go' to her as we had been told there was no brain activity. Actually the anniversary of her stroke is today, which I remember more than the date when she died.

If it was me I'd leave as soon as, if that's possible. Sorry for your news.
 
Issue is I now live in the US. From what I can gather from the hospital it looks likely to happen in the next day or so. Don't know whether to get a flight now or wait for the inevitable and fly over for funeral.
You should ask the hospital for more advice. Mam was 99, suffering a chest infection and barely conscious, so they said it would be 12-24 hours. Maybe your Dad has longer, and you might both benefit from a farewell, but please don't beat yourself up if you can't get there. If he is critical or in pain it might not work anyway. Ask your family to tell him how much you love him. To pass the hours we told Molly all the people who loved her throughout all her life. Even if she was not always responsive, I'm sure there were some smiles!
My thoughts are with you an any case. It's not an easy time.
 
He has dementia, when I visited last year, he did not know who I was. It's a strange situation when the person you know left years ago, but the shell still carries on. If I was in the same situation, I would not have wanted to exist in a care home for the past couple of years. Looking at flights now, but the one thing holding me back is that he would not know who I was if I turned up.
 
He has dementia, when I visited last year, he did not know who I was. It's a strange situation when the person you know left years ago, but the shell still carries on. If I was in the same situation, I would not have wanted to exist in a care home for the past couple of years. Looking at flights now, but the one thing holding me back is that he would not know who I was if I turned up.
It's a hard one mate. Just remember that this next few hours/days shouldn't and won't define anything whatever happens . I'm sure whatever is there in your dad is just happy his son loved him and is doing OK it's all dad's want.
 
Sorry to hear it mate but it will be for the best.

The alternative is they keep him going in a wretched state that you would struggle to call "living". When they made this call for my mam, we were all massively relieved as she was in a constant state of suffering.

Hoping you come around to seeing this as the best thing for your dad, even though you'll miss him like hell.
 
He has dementia, when I visited last year, he did not know who I was. It's a strange situation when the person you know left years ago, but the shell still carries on. If I was in the same situation, I would not have wanted to exist in a care home for the past couple of years. Looking at flights now, but the one thing holding me back is that he would not know who I was if I turned up.
But you will. I missed my Mam's passing by a day and was, like you, in two minds about travelling to my Dad's bedside after a stroke when my sister told me he was a bit better but decided to go anyway. I'll never know whether he knew I was there or not at the end but I'm glad I was. Not the same situation as you but I think you will feel better about yourself in years to come if you are there when the time comes. My thoughts are with you.
 
He has dementia, when I visited last year, he did not know who I was. It's a strange situation when the person you know left years ago, but the shell still carries on. If I was in the same situation, I would not have wanted to exist in a care home for the past couple of years. Looking at flights now, but the one thing holding me back is that he would not know who I was if I turned up.
Aye mate it’s like grieving twice.
Thoughts are with you all.
 
He has dementia, when I visited last year, he did not know who I was. It's a strange situation when the person you know left years ago, but the shell still carries on. If I was in the same situation, I would not have wanted to exist in a care home for the past couple of years. Looking at flights now, but the one thing holding me back is that he would not know who I was if I turned up.
Just awful mate. Wish I had an answer for you
 
He has dementia, when I visited last year, he did not know who I was. It's a strange situation when the person you know left years ago, but the shell still carries on. If I was in the same situation, I would not have wanted to exist in a care home for the past couple of years. Looking at flights now, but the one thing holding me back is that he would not know who I was if I turned up.
It sounds like you would be going for you and not him as he’s not aware you are there anyway . That’s ok mind as you are feeling it
 

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