Domestic abuse victim found on the verge of death

Dave Herbal said:
I’m not blaming him for it. I’m blaming him for not being able to do anything about it. Maybe I’m too alpha male to see it? But I can’t imagine anyone I know putting up with that. I think most of us have been assaulted by our lasses at some point and very few will have retaliated. But the extent to which he put up with that suggests that he had mental problems of his own. I mean Haway..if your lass sat there with the kettle on the boil waiting for an opportunity to pour it on you what would you do about it? He was obviously terrified of breaking the family up but by the same token they’d be broken up anyway if he ended up dead.
You can see exactly the kind of blokes it would happen to though - the ones that have to ask permission to go out; call the wife “the boss”; come up with shit excuses not to do perfectly acceptable things etc. Softcocks, as the smb would say.
Imagine being in a relationship where the woman wears the trousers and makes all the rules, instead of it being an equal partnership? (All of the above also being applicable to women with domineering husbands btw)
Fuck that, I’d rather be single forever than live like that.
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You're not blaming him, you're just blaming him.

It's not like he just lost a fist fight with someone smaller and weaker than him, which might be hard to understand. He was manipulated and abused by the person he loved for a long time. He would've felt like his whole world was collapsing. That would seriously fuck you up. Not just from the physical pain, but the mental torture too.

Survivors of abuse don't deserve further criticism for being abused. They only deserve support.
 


I can’t believe some of the responses. There are reasons why women stay in abusive relationships and it’s no different for men. Harder in some ways, it’s harder for men to admit than women.
He’d also split up from her once, she acted all changed, introduced their first baby into the equation, won him around then completely isolated him from everyone. Telling him his grandad was dead man, that’s not violence it’s emotional shit.
It’s absolute text book.
 
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super noodles said:
You're not blaming him, you're just blaming him.

It's not like he just lost a fist fight with someone smaller and weaker than him, which might be hard to understand. He was manipulated and abused by the person he loved for a long time. He would've felt like his whole world was collapsing. That would seriously fuck you up. Not just from the physical pain, but the mental torture too.

Survivors of abuse don't deserve further criticism for being abused. They only deserve support.
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janey said:
I can’t believe some of the responses. There are reasons why women stay in abusive relationships and it’s no different for men. Harder in some ways, it’s harder for men to admit than women.
He’d also split up from her once, she acted all changed, introduced their first baby into the equation, won him around then completely isolated him from everyone. Telling him his grandad was dead man, that’s not violence it’s emotional shit.
It’s absolute text book.
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it's hard for some people to grasp the idea that a man can be in a physically abusive relationship where the woman is the abuser. It fails their every nurture and nature and they can't wrap their heads around it.

I hope there is more awareness about this as it is a problem, but the victims won't talk about it and others refuse to believe/accept that it exists. It's sad.
 
pillars of hercules said:
I believe you shouldn't raise your hand to a lady, but they have to act like one for it to apply. Any of that boiling water or hammer carry on would result in a swift back hander. I'm not proud to admit it but someone should only be pushed so far.
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I fully agree mate, I would never be the instigator of violence to a woman. Even if it did occur I would attempt to close it down with the least possible damage. This was a whole different kettle of fish though, we all asked him what the fuck he was doing. He just couldn’t or wouldn’t act to protect himself.
 
The Lonious Monk said:
it's hard for some people to grasp the idea that a man can be in a physically abusive relationship where the woman is the abuser. It fails their every nurture and nature and they can't wrap their heads around it.

I hope there is more awareness about this as it is a problem, but the victims won't talk about it and others refuse to believe/accept that it exists. It's sad.
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Yep, the police officer at the end acknowledged as much. Said if it had been the other way round he’d probably have looked closer the first time. Fortunately it was only the next day when he was called back, probably saved his life ultimately.
The lad is at least now using his experiences to talk to professionals about how to look for the signs.
 
Too many blokes on here thinking it's some sort of fist fight or physical battle where the bloke should easily win. Men can be trapped emotionally, throw the child in the mix (the law is always on the woman's side) and a blokes reluctance to strike back and its very easy to see how it happens. Blokes calling other blokes soft as shite doesn't help either. Sane reason blokes suicide rates are shockingly high no one yo turn to.
 
Barnacle Boy said:
That's f***ing awful but at the same time I can't help but think he should have grown some goolies and just left her
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Not that easy, but not impossible either. I know a lass who treated a really decent bloke like this. She was constantly trying to convince those around her that he abused her. I knew exactly what she was up to, and the moment he said he’d leave she was giving him the “you’ll never see your daughter again” routine. He called her bluff, and she honestly beat herself with hard object, and then called the police out. Of course they took her word for it, and he was made to leave the home. She dropped charges of course, because she got her way. She even boasted to us about it all. There are some really shitty, controlling women out there, but they are in the minority, and I hope it stays that way. I do worry a tad that there are too many viscious, sadistic female roles in films these days. Being a tough woman who can handle herself is one thing, but when female psychopaths are being sold as role models then we’ve moved a step too far.
 
rickopooly said:
I fully agree mate, I would never be the instigator of violence to a woman. Even if it did occur I would attempt to close it down with the least possible damage. This was a whole different kettle of fish though, we all asked him what the fuck he was doing. He just couldn’t or wouldn’t act to protect himself.
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Some things are just instilled into people from an early age. They think they're doing the right thing but it doesn't help anyone by letting it go, because it will keep happening.

Someone hit me over the head at work with a broom then tried to stab me in the chest with the broken end. I took it off him and restrained him. I said if he didn't stop we would both get sacked. He said ok.

As I walked away he hit me across the back with a shovel. I repeated my action.

The third time he picked up a large crow bar and I snapped. I picked up a claw hammer and charged at him screaming I'm going to f***ing kill you. The lad froze and dropped the crow bar. He didn't try to attack me again.
 
pillars of hercules said:
Some things are just instilled into people from an early age. They think they're doing the right thing but it doesn't help anyone by letting it go, because it will keep happening.

Someone hit me over the head at work with a broom then tried to stab me in the chest with the broken end. I took it off him and restrained him. I said if he didn't stop we would both get sacked. He said ok.

As I walked away he hit me across the back with a shovel. I repeated my action.

The third time he picked up a large crow bar and I snapped. I picked up a claw hammer and charged at him screaming I'm going to f***ing kill you. The lad froze and dropped the crow bar. He didn't try to attack me again.
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Why the fuck did you wait till the third attempted murder to lose it ?
 
SydneyFan said:
Why the fuck did you wait till the third attempted murder to lose it ?
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The lad had thrown some stuff on the floor in my area and I would have had to pick it up. I told him to sort it and gave him a gentle push towards it and he went over. I thought I would get the sack for what was technically the first assault. I was only 19 at the time and I'm not easily provoked :D
 
grim story that the poor fucker, still though if a lass hit me for no reason or tried to stab me etc id knock the fucker clean out and shit in her knicker drawer
 
pillars of hercules said:
Some things are just instilled into people from an early age. They think they're doing the right thing but it doesn't help anyone by letting it go, because it will keep happening.

Someone hit me over the head at work with a broom then tried to stab me in the chest with the broken end. I took it off him and restrained him. I said if he didn't stop we would both get sacked. He said ok.

As I walked away he hit me across the back with a shovel. I repeated my action.

The third time he picked up a large crow bar and I snapped. I picked up a claw hammer and charged at him screaming I'm going to f***ing kill you. The lad froze and dropped the crow bar. He didn't try to attack me again.
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Where the fuck do you work WWE?
 

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