Domestic abuse victim found on the verge of death

Dave Herbal said:
I just don’t get it. Deprived of food? Just go and get some man. And unless she was attacking him in his sleep, why didn’t he just stop her and sit on her til she calmed down? She’s tiny. I don’t know how any man can be bullied like this.
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Maybe read the story though? Instead of coming across as fairly ignorant to the whole thing? All blokes aren't as big and hard, as you clearly think you are. I would imagine any kind of confidence would quickly disappear if any of us had to go through what he did. It's inspiring towards other blokes going through the same thing, that there is a light at the end of it all. Lads done well to come out and tell his story, fair play to him.
 


Rodderz said:
Maybe read the story though? Instead of coming across as fairly ignorant to the whole thing? All blokes aren't as big and hard, as you clearly think you are. I would imagine any kind of confidence would quickly disappear if any of us had to go through what he did. It's inspiring towards other blokes going through the same thing, that there is a light at the end of it all. Lads done well to come out and tell his story, fair play to him.
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I speed read it. It doesnt matter though. If your lass puts you in hospital then it’s time to sit down and think about your options.
Simply write her a note explaining that if she does it again she can expect either physical retaliation or if that’s not your thing, the police involved. She clearly needed help, not him.
 
What was the program on it called?

Dave Herbal said:
I speed read it. It doesnt matter though. If your lass puts you in hospital then it’s time to sit down and think about your options.
Simply write her a note explaining that if she does it again she can expect either physical retaliation or if that’s not your thing, the police involved. She clearly needed help, not him.
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Can't do much more really, Dave.
 
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Dave Herbal said:
I speed read it. It doesnt matter though. If your lass puts you in hospital then it’s time to sit down and think about your options.
Simply write her a note explaining that if she does it again she can expect either physical retaliation or if that’s not your thing, the police involved. She clearly needed help, not him.
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It's not right to make out like the victims of abuse are at fault in any way. Maybe he's been so conditioned by societal expectations of men that he didn't feel like he could retaliate physically with a woman. Or maybe like a lot of survivors of abuse it took getting out of the situation to see just how bad it really was. Someone who supposedly loves you assaulting you must be very frightening and confusing, so it's not fair to expect a rational response.
 
super noodles said:
It's not right to make out like the victims of abuse are at fault in any way. Maybe he's been so conditioned by societal expectations of men that he didn't feel like he could retaliate physically with a woman. Or maybe like a lot of survivors of abuse it took getting out of the situation to see just how bad it really was. Someone who supposedly loves you assaulting you must be very frightening and confusing, so it's not fair to expect a rational response.
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I’m not blaming him for it. I’m blaming him for not being able to do anything about it. Maybe I’m too alpha male to see it? But I can’t imagine anyone I know putting up with that. I think most of us have been assaulted by our lasses at some point and very few will have retaliated. But the extent to which he put up with that suggests that he had mental problems of his own. I mean Haway..if your lass sat there with the kettle on the boil waiting for an opportunity to pour it on you what would you do about it? He was obviously terrified of breaking the family up but by the same token they’d be broken up anyway if he ended up dead.
You can see exactly the kind of blokes it would happen to though - the ones that have to ask permission to go out; call the wife “the boss”; come up with shit excuses not to do perfectly acceptable things etc. Softcocks, as the smb would say.
Imagine being in a relationship where the woman wears the trousers and makes all the rules, instead of it being an equal partnership? (All of the above also being applicable to women with domineering husbands btw)
Fuck that, I’d rather be single forever than live like that.
 
super noodles said:
It's not right to make out like the victims of abuse are at fault in any way. Maybe he's been so conditioned by societal expectations of men that he didn't feel like he could retaliate physically with a woman. Or maybe like a lot of survivors of abuse it took getting out of the situation to see just how bad it really was. Someone who supposedly loves you assaulting you must be very frightening and confusing, so it's not fair to expect a rational response.
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Not to mention if he retaliated we all know which way the prosecution would've headed.
 
Rodderz said:
Maybe read the story though? Instead of coming across as fairly ignorant to the whole thing? All blokes aren't as big and hard, as you clearly think you are. I would imagine any kind of confidence would quickly disappear if any of us had to go through what he did. It's inspiring towards other blokes going through the same thing, that there is a light at the end of it all. Lads done well to come out and tell his story, fair play to him.
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Inspiring? The bloke was at deaths door and still did nowt about it. He was lucky the copper pressed him for answers or he’d be dead now.

I’d understand it more if she was physically superior to him but she looks about 5 foot and 6 stone.
 
rickopooly said:
I played rugby with a lad in Hartlepool for years, big strong lad; Inside Centre. Very good, hard player; used to get knocked to fuck by their lass all the time. He'd always been told that 'you don't hit girls' so just 'took it like a man'. Horrible bitch played on that!!
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I believe you shouldn't raise your hand to a lady, but they have to act like one for it to apply. Any of that boiling water or hammer carry on would result in a swift back hander. I'm not proud to admit it but someone should only be pushed so far.
 
Dave Herbal said:
I’m not blaming him for it. I’m blaming him for not being able to do anything about it. Maybe I’m too alpha male to see it? But I can’t imagine anyone I know putting up with that. I think most of us have been assaulted by our lasses at some point and very few will have retaliated. But the extent to which he put up with that suggests that he had mental problems of his own. I mean Haway..if your lass sat there with the kettle on the boil waiting for an opportunity to pour it on you what would you do about it? He was obviously terrified of breaking the family up but by the same token they’d be broken up anyway if he ended up dead.
You can see exactly the kind of blokes it would happen to though - the ones that have to ask permission to go out; call the wife “the boss”; come up with shit excuses not to do perfectly acceptable things etc. Softcocks, as the smb would say.
Imagine being in a relationship where the woman wears the trousers and makes all the rules, instead of it being an equal partnership? (All of the above also being applicable to women with domineering husbands btw)
Fuck that, I’d rather be single forever than live like that.
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PhilSAFC said:
Inspiring? The bloke was at deaths door and still did nowt about it. He was lucky the copper pressed him for answers or he’d be dead now.

I’d understand it more if she was physically superior to him but she looks about 5 foot and 6 stone.
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I would say that there are some issues with him as well. An abusive relationship is not just a man being abusive of a woman, but the opposite is true as well, although probably not talked about as openly though. A person size has nothing to do with it. There is a mental state with victims of abusive relationship that is bigger than them. Many honestly believe that when a person is abusive towards them, it is their (the victim) fault. They blame themselves for doing something that caused their partner to be abusive.

You cannot see this in the perspective of what is manly or what isn't. These victims suffer from a mental prison that is debilitating.

He needs to get counseling after this ordeal. The mental harm from this relationship is a lot more damaging than what he has suffered physically.

I respect both of your points of view. I know you're not being insensitive but you just can't wrap your head around how this can happen. But there are also people out there who cannot understand how anyone can suffer from depression. Both are comparable mental prisons that warp reality.
 
Watched it, was awful to watch in large parts.

Throughout couldn’t help think he already had issues before getting together with that psycho bitch.

He was like a frightened rabbit.
 

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