S
stephen cartwright
Guest
Took me 24 hours to get from Sunderland to Mansfield and back.
Conked out at leeming bar on the way back.
Conked out at leeming bar on the way back.
Disastrous journeys
- Thread starter thamesvalleyman
- Start date
Reminds me of the time my sister was kidnapped in South America, and I had to go there to help release her because she sent me what turned out to be a map of the location of a huge emerald. I tried to take a bus to Cartagena but got the wrong one, then it crashed and and this roughneck adventurer and I had to escape through the jungle to get away from the kidnappers. It all turned out ok in the end though
Oh , dearest darling you should have wrote ... man !
Loads.
I'll start with the yellow suit incident. I'd been to the game one Sunday and had to fly out of Ponteland that night for a meeting in Ladenburg in Germany the next afternoon. Got to Frankfurt and, of course, no luggage (an occupational hazard in my job, has happened loads of times), so I drove to Landenburg in the only clothes I had for the meeting the next day - a 1937 cup final shirt.
As my meeting wasn't until after lunch, I decided to head out of my hotel to buy a suit to wear for my meeting, but there was only one shop, and only one suit that fitted me.
I attended the meeting with the hierarchy of ABB wearing a mustard suit, sage green shirt and flowery tie.
I'll start with the yellow suit incident. I'd been to the game one Sunday and had to fly out of Ponteland that night for a meeting in Ladenburg in Germany the next afternoon. Got to Frankfurt and, of course, no luggage (an occupational hazard in my job, has happened loads of times), so I drove to Landenburg in the only clothes I had for the meeting the next day - a 1937 cup final shirt.
As my meeting wasn't until after lunch, I decided to head out of my hotel to buy a suit to wear for my meeting, but there was only one shop, and only one suit that fitted me.
I attended the meeting with the hierarchy of ABB wearing a mustard suit, sage green shirt and flowery tie.
ajthemackem
Striker
I had to spend 8 hours overnight in Manchester railway station and spent that time riding the escalators to the airport and back.
Driving from Beijing to Chengde and was held up at gunpoint. There were three of us in the car, the driver, me and my interpreter.
I was advised by my man to get on the floor of the car as they might hold a westerner to ransom. One of them saw me however and the atmosphere changed completely, letting us go in just a few minutes. It turned out they were protesting against a road being built through their village.
I was advised by my man to get on the floor of the car as they might hold a westerner to ransom. One of them saw me however and the atmosphere changed completely, letting us go in just a few minutes. It turned out they were protesting against a road being built through their village.
Wonderbra
Midfield
Drove across the US from Chicago with the wife and kids.
Got the wrong hire car.
Someone stole our wheel trims.
Met a blonde stunner in a Ferrari
Picked up the wife's aunt and her dog on the way. Both died.
Ran out of fuel between Arizona and Utah. Nearly died in the desert.
Lost all my money.
Finally got to the theme park and it was closed.
Got the wrong hire car.
Someone stole our wheel trims.
Met a blonde stunner in a Ferrari
Picked up the wife's aunt and her dog on the way. Both died.
Ran out of fuel between Arizona and Utah. Nearly died in the desert.
Lost all my money.
Finally got to the theme park and it was closed.
YEars ago, I flew from Moscow to Samara on an old Tupalov. My Russian friend told me to bring cognac as I'd "need it".
The plane took off from Moscow and suddenly everyone started physically moving their seats to the side of the plane and playing poker on the floor. None of the seats had been fastened to the floor of the plane.
On the way back, leaving Samara they wouldn't let me on the plane as my visa didn't allow me to travel there, just to Moscow. I played the senile old git card and they eventually let me on.
The plane took off from Moscow and suddenly everyone started physically moving their seats to the side of the plane and playing poker on the floor. None of the seats had been fastened to the floor of the plane.
On the way back, leaving Samara they wouldn't let me on the plane as my visa didn't allow me to travel there, just to Moscow. I played the senile old git card and they eventually let me on.
Jack Ford
Winger
Stay at home mate, you wont have these problems...........unless you're on M25
Vagrant
Midfield
Luckily all the locals on the bus were spot on. I'd spoken in broken spanish with a few about football and they argued with the guerrillas and virtually dragged me off them. Some old dear even gave them a bollocking! Genuinely thought I was going to be kidnapped.
The people were fantastic all through Colombia and I found it a great place
Driving from Tanggu to Quinhuangdao on the Bohai Bay in Eastern China. We left Tanggu for what should have been an hour or so's drive.
As we got to the coast road, my Chinese agent started shouting " The Frog! The Frog!" A sea mist had descended and we couldn't see more than 10ft in front of us. Anyone who's ever driven in China will know that they don't give a fuck if they die driving and just go for it.
It took 5 hours of near-death experiences to get us to Qinhuangdao
As we got to the coast road, my Chinese agent started shouting " The Frog! The Frog!" A sea mist had descended and we couldn't see more than 10ft in front of us. Anyone who's ever driven in China will know that they don't give a fuck if they die driving and just go for it.
It took 5 hours of near-death experiences to get us to Qinhuangdao
Those internal flights in Russia would be on most people’s top 10 for adventure factor
My Mrs is in Cartagena this week.
I'd be surprised if she brought back any emeralds. Jewles remain still cleaming, and all that.
Brilliant man, I wouldn't swap those years for all the money in the world.Those internal flights in Russia would be on most people’s top 10 for adventure factor
Ditto. Had so many class adventures, more than enough for a lifetime but I’m glad I don’t travel nearly so much these days.
For any young uns if you have a chance of getting a job which involves travel, go for it. YOLO as they say.
in the early 90's i had just bought a brand new bike (bmw gs) got it in my head i wanted to go to monaco so played the nick from work and set off.
had a great ride till i got to clermont ferrand in france where there was a mega storm and the roads were just about unpassable. the rain was just washing mud across the road from the mountains. spent a night in a minging formula 1 hotel to see if it would get better the next day. it didn't so i turned round and came home.
had a great ride till i got to clermont ferrand in france where there was a mega storm and the roads were just about unpassable. the rain was just washing mud across the road from the mountains. spent a night in a minging formula 1 hotel to see if it would get better the next day. it didn't so i turned round and came home.
The Fernhurst? Pub in Blackburn.few seasons back. Was at Uni in Lancaster. We were playing Blackburn on a Monday night live on Sky. Cash turnstiles on the night. I considered it all day then finally decided to fuck it off and attend my final lecture 4-5pm instead. Came to 5pm. Lecture was shit. I checked train times to Blackburn. Asked on here should it be done? Advice was aye, go for it! All the old-timers reminisced about the days of hitch hiking to the arse end of nowhere. I rechecked times to Blackburn but completely forgot about times home. It won't matter I thought I'll jump in a taxi outside the ground and be back at the station in no time! Young & naive.
Got to the game. It finished 0-0. Worst game I've ever witnessed. There was basically me and about 3 buses of ALS kids in the away end. It was beyond freezing.
Came out. No taxis anywhere. I nipped into that away pub (forgot it's name now?) and asked for a taxi number. They pointed to the phone on the wall which was a direct line. I didn't factor in the inevitable match traffic and I was still stood outside Ewood when my train was leaving Blackburn. Jumped in the taxi & told him to take me straight to Preston. Pitch black and only me in the taxi with a North East accent. I'm sure he took me around the houses because the taxi cost about £90. Dropped off at Preston. Only fucker in the whole station. Not a soul anywhere. Eerily quiet. Sat on the bench in the station like a down and out making a home for the night waiting for the final train to depart Preston for the night.
got home about 1am, £100 lighter (on student income this just about bankrupt me) having stood with the ALS knackers watching the worst game of my life. Was up and sat in a lecture room at 8am the following morning.
morale of the story - when the SMB says do it, do the opposite!
aupaalaves
Striker
I was in Uyuni, Bolivia in 2012 and company who we had arranged the salt flats tour with assured us that train tickets to La Paz had been booked and were to be collected at Uyuni train station under the reservation name of their company.
We wanted to take the train as one of the backpackers we had met up with lost a friend through a bus crash from Uyuni to La Paz some years earlier so it was quite emotional for her and an eye opener for the rest of us.
So we got to the train station and find out that we had no tickets as there was no reservation under that name. Obviously, we'd been done.
So, we had to decide between catching a late night bus or the evening train the following day. Everyone decided it was best to get the bus as they'd already booked hostels. The girl whose friend died broke down in tears as we tried to convince her to come on the bus and that everything would be OK. In the end we did.
So, we got our tickets, bus was due to leave at midnight. It arrived at 2:30 in the early hours. It looked like one of those American school buses though this one was in much worse condition.
Everyone with a ticket got on. Poor locals who didn't, bribed the bus driver and slept in the aisle and even in the toilet which was out of order for the whole 14 hours.
We got on the bus, windows were steamed up from the cold, locals sleeping in the aisle were trying to pickpocket French backpackers and I remember just wondering if I was going to die that night as the bus shakily travelled at about 20 miles per hour for what seemed hours. All this without being able to see the road outside.
We got there in the end but it was scary.
We wanted to take the train as one of the backpackers we had met up with lost a friend through a bus crash from Uyuni to La Paz some years earlier so it was quite emotional for her and an eye opener for the rest of us.
So we got to the train station and find out that we had no tickets as there was no reservation under that name. Obviously, we'd been done.
So, we had to decide between catching a late night bus or the evening train the following day. Everyone decided it was best to get the bus as they'd already booked hostels. The girl whose friend died broke down in tears as we tried to convince her to come on the bus and that everything would be OK. In the end we did.
So, we got our tickets, bus was due to leave at midnight. It arrived at 2:30 in the early hours. It looked like one of those American school buses though this one was in much worse condition.
Everyone with a ticket got on. Poor locals who didn't, bribed the bus driver and slept in the aisle and even in the toilet which was out of order for the whole 14 hours.
We got on the bus, windows were steamed up from the cold, locals sleeping in the aisle were trying to pickpocket French backpackers and I remember just wondering if I was going to die that night as the bus shakily travelled at about 20 miles per hour for what seemed hours. All this without being able to see the road outside.
We got there in the end but it was scary.
Just finished watching the film based on your life an hour ago. Spooky
Did you like the bit where I fucked the living daylights out of Michael Douglas?
Your tits looked canny mind
I remember once trying to get home from New York
Some bassa stole my cab. Then my plane was diverted due to snow
Then the only hotel room going was with this big fat lad who smoked
Then I ended up having to drive all night but the police impounded my car after it was set on fire
I was thinking of writing a book . Maybe calling it "Billy and his bad luck with travel"
Anyway, we made it home for Thanksgiving
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