Depression

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ChrisAshley said:
Cheers mate, I turned to this place since I don't really have any close friends and try to not let family members know since they're going through their own stuff and don't want to add to it but this place definitely helps.
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Maybe there's that selflessness in respect of your family, values?
 


ChrisAshley said:
Cheers mate, I turned to this place since I don't really have any close friends and try to not let family members know since they're going through their own stuff and don't want to add to it but this place definitely helps.
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You're very welcome my friend.
I've suffered with depression some years ago so know what you're going through.
Others on here, have really had it much worse than I have, and my heart goes out to them.
They are better qualified to give you good advice and guidance.
One to one counselling really helped me when I most needed help.
Just being able to tell somebody who can help, how I felt was a tremendous relief and getting stuff off my chest and unburdening myself really helped me no end.
Just taking those first steps to talk to somebody who understood, was the best feeling.
If you feel you can't talk to somebody in person, then by all means talk on here.
You are not alone mate.
You have friends on here.
 
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Skandhaless said:
You need to find more than an interest Chris (although that in its self would provide some sense of achievement) , you need to find a way of recognising and then expressing your basic values in life and you will have plenty, you just need a bit help finding them.
Immediately I can spot you value kindness, humility, compassion, quiet courage, determination just in how you get through a testing life (there will be others) . They may not be the alpha male values of success, competition and striving that society lauds and places value on but they are great ones for a human .
Anytime you do anything that lives up to your values you are doing and living well mate no matter who else sees it or recognises it.
Just work on living to values in tiny ways rather than trying to achieve outward markers of success and recognise each time you do. You will be happier with yourself and believe me others would wish to be associated with such a person.
Stick in son.
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Beautifully put.
 
ChrisAshley said:
Having a browse on there and looks canny, thanks. :)

Thanks mate I'll try! I think of myself as a bit of a nothing person like I offer nothing to anyone wanting to be a friend let alone girlfriend and haven't got a whole lot going for me compared to others (at least in my head anyway) so it's hard to really see any good qualities I have other than just being a nice person which is one of the easiest things to be.
Edit: Also hope you're recovering well @Ginger John !
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Not being a cock is a tremendous quality mate. Rarer than you'd think
 
Well where do I start.. I am on Sertraline and have been for years. It is just over a year since my wife died suddenly. It was her birthday last week and we went out for a meal. My step-daughter and her girls have been a rock for me. I am just going along and planning my world trip. Today I was contacted to say one of my school mates had died. I had lost contact with him and found him on Facebook a few years ago. He had been treated for C and it came back recently and then this afternoon a good lad who I played cricket with was admitted to a hospice after his treatment had little effect. I am sitting here, by myself, and the memories are rushing by...so bloody sad. Christ Almighty will this stuff ever stop. I am alright just fuming about losing people. I am going to see the Doc next week and was going to ask to reduce the dose but I just don't know now.
 
Johnap said:
Well where do I start.. I am on Sertraline and have been for years. It is just over a year since my wife died suddenly. It was her birthday last week and we went out for a meal. My step-daughter and her girls have been a rock for me. I am just going along and planning my world trip. Today I was contacted to say one of my school mates had died. I had lost contact with him and found him on Facebook a few years ago. He had been treated for C and it came back recently and then this afternoon a good lad who I played cricket with was admitted to a hospice after his treatment had little effect. I am sitting here, by myself, and the memories are rushing by...so bloody sad. Christ Almighty will this stuff ever stop. I am alright just fuming about losing people. I am going to see the Doc next week and was going to ask to reduce the dose but I just don't know now.
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I'm so sorry to hear that marra. Grief is a terrible thing and really hard to deal with. Don't think about your meds today - that can wait for the time being. Take time to deal with your emotions over your losses and think about your meds when you have a clearer head on. Sending my love xx
 
Ginger John said:
I'm so sorry to hear that marra. Grief is a terrible thing and really hard to deal with. Don't think about your meds today - that can wait for the time being. Take time to deal with your emotions over your losses and think about your meds when you have a clearer head on. Sending my love xx
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Thanks Ginger. I think I just wanted a release valve and this is the greatest thread for that and support.
 
Johnap said:
Well where do I start.. I am on Sertraline and have been for years. It is just over a year since my wife died suddenly. It was her birthday last week and we went out for a meal. My step-daughter and her girls have been a rock for me. I am just going along and planning my world trip. Today I was contacted to say one of my school mates had died. I had lost contact with him and found him on Facebook a few years ago. He had been treated for C and it came back recently and then this afternoon a good lad who I played cricket with was admitted to a hospice after his treatment had little effect. I am sitting here, by myself, and the memories are rushing by...so bloody sad. Christ Almighty will this stuff ever stop. I am alright just fuming about losing people. I am going to see the Doc next week and was going to ask to reduce the dose but I just don't know now.
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Things take time mate, just over a year for your wife, a normal grief period. Significant date just past, emotions are bound to be up. You're not obliged to "manage" every day . See how tomorrow goes and give it a shot.
 
Evening folks. How is everyone doing. Hope we are all fighting the fight and kicking this depression in the hole!!

I’m up and down at minute after my cancer scare. Getting more tests done. Still on 50 mg of sertraline but my sleeps are the worst ever. I go to bed as soon as I wake up im
Out of bed singing songs always the same routine. Up singing a song drink back to bed. f***ing knackered during day. Going back to doctors when I’m off cos it’s like stars in there f***ing eyes every night. Haha.

Hope everyone is doing the best they can. Xx
 
Rhubarb said:
Evening folks. How is everyone doing. Hope we are all fighting the fight and kicking this depression in the hole!!

I’m up and down at minute after my cancer scare. Getting more tests done. Still on 50 mg of sertraline but my sleeps are the worst ever. I go to bed as soon as I wake up im
Out of bed singing songs always the same routine. Up singing a song drink back to bed. f***ing knackered during day. Going back to doctors when I’m off cos it’s like stars in there f***ing eyes every night. Haha.

Hope everyone is doing the best they can. Xx
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Lack of sleep is a killer mind. It affects all sorts of body functions such as your eating pattern and metabolism as well as the usual tiredness symptoms. I'm assuming you've tried all the usual cutting caffeine in the evenings, doing relaxing things, meditation apps etc? Hope you get it sorted soon marra xx
Update on me: After suffering for years with PMDD (linked to female hormone issues and causes severe depression amongst other symptoms), I was glad when they finally decided to take my ovaries out last December. At the initial discussion, the consultant said I would need to take estrogen HRT which I was happy to do as otherwise I'm at much higher risk of other things such as osteoporosis, dementia, heart disease etc. She never mentioned progesterone. It's the progesterone that triggers the PMDD and my crohns which is why I wanted my ovaries out as they make the hormones.

After surgery I was told that because she had left my uterus in, then I needed to take progesterone to protect it. I didn't understand putting the progesterone back in but I did try two different oral tablets. They both had a tiny amount of estrogen and an average amount of progesterone in. I ended up in a mess again with PMDD and crohns symptoms on both of those and asked for a second opinion.

I was referred to another consultant who said she had done the wrong operation and I should have had ovaries and uterus out. Given my long history of reacting to progesterone medications and the nature of PMDD, he couldn't see any logical reason for leaving my uterus in. He booked me in for a hysterectomy in May but then it was cancelled at short notice due to supply issues with the surgical instruments needed for a laparoscopy.

I saw the original consultant again in June who is still convinced she did the right operation and I need to keep playing with progesterone until I find one that suits. Rather than oral medications, she gave me estrogen patches and a progesterone pessary to use for seven days a month. I was doing fine when I just had the patch on, but as soon as I started the seven days of progesterone, I had an almighty crash and all my symptoms flared back up again. She seemed to think that was the way forward, even though it just put me back in the position I was in before the op due to the cycling of hormones so I wasn't happy about it. After the original op, her whole care centred around caring for my uterus which was defunct anyway as I'd previously had the lining to it removed so I could no longer carry a baby in it and it had prolapsed into my bladder causing continence issues. I still don't understand the point of keeping it in.

The original consultant came back with a new dates for the hysterectomy and I had that done last week. I'm still really sore and off my feet at the moment, but fingers crossed I'm fixed now. I'm happy with the level of estrogen patches he has given me as I they don't have any side effects and I should be well ongoing once everything heals up and my body gets back to normal.

I'm furious with the original consultant. I've since read medical papers by PMDD experts. None of them recommend removing just ovaries and all state that the only cure from PMDD is a full removal of everything so the progesterone is eliminated.

Also annoyed about the two oral treatments that I was initially prescribed. I've since read that neither are recommended for people with crohn's and both are ultra low dose estrogen. They are more designed for older women approaching natural menopause so their hormones are dropping off and they just need a little something to top them back up. In my case, the hormones went from all to nothing at a much younger age, so I should have been on a high dose estrogen patch from the start.

It's a shame I've been through an extra eight months of suffering plus another major op when it could have all been sorted if she'd taken the lot away last December.

Pleased it's finally sorted now though. Got a check up on the 17th September and assuming I'm fine, I'm allowed to go back to the gym and running and stuff. Looking forward to that :)
 
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Johnap said:
Well where do I start.. I am on Sertraline and have been for years. It is just over a year since my wife died suddenly. It was her birthday last week and we went out for a meal. My step-daughter and her girls have been a rock for me. I am just going along and planning my world trip. Today I was contacted to say one of my school mates had died. I had lost contact with him and found him on Facebook a few years ago. He had been treated for C and it came back recently and then this afternoon a good lad who I played cricket with was admitted to a hospice after his treatment had little effect. I am sitting here, by myself, and the memories are rushing by...so bloody sad. Christ Almighty will this stuff ever stop. I am alright just fuming about losing people. I am going to see the Doc next week and was going to ask to reduce the dose but I just don't know now.
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Sadly the only certainty in life is Death. Thats being brutly honest. But as you touched upon, memories dont die. Songs, videos, places, smells thats how people live on. Dont hate the memories, love them! Laugh at them, use them to spur you on. When you wake up cherish the fact you can think about what you achieved with these people that are no longer with you.

As for reducing the dose, try it... worse case you can go back to what you are on now. You know your triggers, you know how to spot when you feeling it a bit more than usual. You might just suprise yourself!

Make sure you keep this thread updated though mate!

Just to add, reading your post just made me go and give my wife a hug, so youve just made a difference in my day already, thank you very much.
 
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Ginger you take it easy. Pleased you are feeling positive. We are all together on here.

Shrek - thanks for the support and I will keep the thread updated. I hope you didn't surprise the good lady!
 
Maravilla said:
Know this is a pretty frequently discussed topic on here and a lot of good advice is given so here goes.

Been suffering from depression for years and I'm currently going through one of those stages where I'm just constantly feeling shit no matter what I do and am really struggling to get up in the morning to go to work and can barely go an hour without having a suicidal thought, took an overdose of pills last year but that didn't work and in all honesty I feel like I did around that time, but don't really have the bottle to try owt like that again. Know fine well that I don't help myself in some aspects but just want to get to the point where I can live a relatively normal life.

I'm not especially close to my family and whilst I do love them I can't really bring myself to confide in them, been fucked about and fobbed off at every opportunity by the doctors whenever I go to see them about it, I do know that I can always tell my best friend but I don't want to bother them again with this shit, especially after a little drunken heart-to-heart we had last night, so just thought I'd give this a go.
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Mate whatever you are going through, however shit you feel bear in mind that life is not as bad as you think. I know this sounds like the usual soundbites but beleive me this life is the only one you get so try to rationalise your feelings and understand why you feel the way you do.
If you drink alcohol STOP NOW! This will fuck you up big style. Quitting the booze is the single best thing you can do.
Stay strong mate.
 
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