Depression

[yorkyexile]

Got a grip of me big style again. Back to the quacks Monday morning.

Sorry i`ve liked that and just figured what you meant. Still have a like for recognizing it for what it is and doing something positive about it.

Lost track of the thread a bit lately, so rather than read back through how we all doing?

How do you find motivation when you think so bad of yourself? I failed my driving test recently I did book a another one but I'm going to have to cancel it since I haven't had anymore lessons and it's in a couple of weeks so going to cancel and I can't really be bothered to do it again since I've got so little going for me and I can't explain it any better than describing myself as a 'faulty human'. All that probably sounds stupid and I realise it is!

Also made work an awkward place for me tomorrow since I overheard some people talking about me (taking the piss out of something i said basically) and I brought it up with one of them afterwards and now wish I hadn't, so got to deal with that tomorrow while thinking about ways of committing suicide so I'll no doubt end up making myself look a bigger weirdo!

Don`t take extra lessons between you`ll just batter your head with a bit more info you already know is my advice.

 

[becs]

How do you find motivation when you think so bad of yourself? I failed my driving test recently I did book a another one but I'm going to have to cancel it since I haven't had anymore lessons and it's in a couple of weeks so going to cancel and I can't really be bothered to do it again since I've got so little going for me and I can't explain it any better than describing myself as a 'faulty human'. All that probably sounds stupid and I realise it is!

Also made work an awkward place for me tomorrow since I overheard some people talking about me (taking the piss out of something i said basically) and I brought it up with one of them afterwards and now wish I hadn't, so got to deal with that tomorrow while thinking about ways of committing suicide so I'll no doubt end up making myself look a bigger weirdo!

You're still a wad mind

What happened on the driving test? I failed mine as I was a bag of nerves and I had a panic attack in the middle of it. A turn in the road turned into me just randomly going backwards and forward stotting the car off all available kerbs while trying to concentrate on my breathing At least the second time, you'll know what happens in the test so you have a bigger advantage going into the test. Loads of people fail first time and it doesn't make them faulty.

Just ignore the people at work. Some people say some stupid things. It's them who are the weirdos, not you. You're a smashing lad and definitely not a weirdo. Don't think about suicide. Think about doing something for you that makes you appreciate you for who you are. Look after yourself mate xx

Got a grip of me big style again. Back to the quacks Monday morning.

Hope you are ok marra. You know where people are if you need anything. Take care xx

 

[ChrisAshley]

I took driving lessons in 1980 when I was 17 and was deemed good enough to go for my test.
Unfortunately, mates, football, girls and beer, put paid to me going for my test.
I eventually re-took lessons 16 years later, and after failing my test, I eventually passed in 1996.
My message is, take more lessons when you're feeling up to it, as there's no rush, and there's no point in taking lessons, if you're not in a good place, mentally, because it would affect your concentration.
Many people fail their test, but the trick is to use the failure as a way of motivating yourself to be doubly determined to hopefully pass your test next time.

As for the problem at work.
It's never nice to hear people having a go at us, as it can badly affect our confidence among our peers.
If you feel you overreacted, then maybe have a quiet word at work tomorrow, and explain why you reacted the way you did.
Hopefully they'll admire you for taking the time to explain yourself, and clear the air, as it's in everybody's interests to try to get along in the workplace.

Suicide is NEVER the answer to our problems, so please don't even contemplate taking your own life.
Think of your loved ones, who'd be heartbroken as they'd be left behind to try to pick up the pieces, and try to make sense of your actions.

Talking always helps.
Have a chat with a trusted family member or a close friend, about how low you feel, or better still, have a chat with your doctor, who will know best how to help you.

How about joining a night class, doing something which interests you ?
I've been on computer courses, maths improvement courses, Spanish language courses and got City and Guilds qualifications for catering and health and safety in the workplace, as well as other C&G qualifications for language and computing.
It's a great way to meet people and make friends, as well as learning new skills. - why not give it a try ?

Best of luck mate.

Good point about the lessons I think I'll postpone it, I didn't take the failing the driving test too bad since my driving instructors car had to be taken into the garage and was giving a completely different car to drive for the first time on my driving test and also had a stomach bug a few days before and wasn't feeling great! But because of other things it's knocked my confidence in driving and the motivation to do it in the first place.

I don't think I'd attempt to commit suicide but it's a thought that is constantly there at the moment and to be fair it's a thought that I've had for a long time! It's at the point at the moment where if I get any little set back it'll immediately pop into my mind.

I need to find an interest in something all I'm doing is going to work and then home with nothing much to do on weekends either, thing about night classes I'd probably need to pass my driving test to get there but yeah maybe I can try and use that as motivation to pass my test,

Don`t take extra lessons between you`ll just batter your head with a bit more info you already know is my advice.

I think I need some just to get myself comfortable with driving again after a shakey driving test!

 

[RossTheNinja]

You're still a wad mind

What happened on the driving test? I failed mine as I was a bag of nerves and I had a panic attack in the middle of it. A turn in the road turned into me just randomly going backwards and forward stotting the car off all available kerbs while trying to concentrate on my breathing At least the second time, you'll know what happens in the test so you have a bigger advantage going into the test. Loads of people fail first time and it doesn't make them faulty.

Just ignore the people at work. Some people say some stupid things. It's them who are the weirdos, not you. You're a smashing lad and definitely not a weirdo. Don't think about suicide. Think about doing something for you that makes you appreciate you for who you are. Look after yourself mate xx


Hope you are ok marra. You know where people are if you need anything. Take care xx

Becs wants you so you can't give up now, Chris.

The 2nd go at the driving test is a million times easier. I actually thought I'd failed early on so kind of resigned myself to getting the rest of the rest right.

The hobby idea is a good one mind

Good point about the lessons I think I'll postpone it, I didn't take the failing the driving test too bad since my driving instructors car had to be taken into the garage and was giving a completely different car to drive for the first time on my driving test and also had a stomach bug a few days before and wasn't feeling great! But because of other things it's knocked my confidence in driving and the motivation to do it in the first place.

I don't think I'd attempt to commit suicide but it's a thought that is constantly there at the moment and to be fair it's a thought that I've had for a long time! It's at the point at the moment where if I get any little set back it'll immediately pop into my mind.

I need to find an interest in something all I'm doing is going to work and then home with nothing much to do on weekends either, thing about night classes I'd probably need to pass my driving test to get there but yeah maybe I can try and use that as motivation to pass my test,

I think I need some just to get myself comfortable with driving again after a shakey driving test!

Also, don't be hard on yourself for thinking about suicide. It's a habit that will take a while to break. If you start to make plans for it please get help.

 

[ChrisAshley]

You're still a wad mind

What happened on the driving test? I failed mine as I was a bag of nerves and I had a panic attack in the middle of it. A turn in the road turned into me just randomly going backwards and forward stotting the car off all available kerbs while trying to concentrate on my breathing At least the second time, you'll know what happens in the test so you have a bigger advantage going into the test. Loads of people fail first time and it doesn't make them faulty.

Just ignore the people at work. Some people say some stupid things. It's them who are the weirdos, not you. You're a smashing lad and definitely not a weirdo. Don't think about suicide. Think about doing something for you that makes you appreciate you for who you are. Look after yourself mate xx


Hope you are ok marra. You know where people are if you need anything. Take care xx

You'd probably change your mind in real life!

Had to drive a car I'd never driven before as my driving instructors car had been taken into the garage and the car I was driving for the test was a bit bigger, ended up hitting the kerb when he told me to pull over on the left not once but twice! He was going to let me off with the first one but couldn't for the second, the second time i did it I knew it was going to be a fail and because I was thinking this ended up stalling about 4 times in a row, wanted the world to swallow me up!

Aw thanks It's hard to appreciate who I am when I think so low of myself, there isn't anything I think 'Well I'm canny there' I think I'm hopeless at pretty much everything in life like everyone else just seems to be getting by in life having normal lives being able to have normal social interactions etc and I'm clueless at everything.

 

[Deleted member 2014]

Good point about the lessons I think I'll postpone it, I didn't take the failing the driving test too bad since my driving instructors car had to be taken into the garage and was giving a completely different car to drive for the first time on my driving test and also had a stomach bug a few days before and wasn't feeling great! But because of other things it's knocked my confidence in driving and the motivation to do it in the first place.

I don't think I'd attempt to commit suicide but it's a thought that is constantly there at the moment and to be fair it's a thought that I've had for a long time! It's at the point at the moment where if I get any little set back it'll immediately pop into my mind.

I need to find an interest in something all I'm doing is going to work and then home with nothing much to do on weekends either, thing about night classes I'd probably need to pass my driving test to get there but yeah maybe I can try and use that as motivation to pass my test,

I think I need some just to get myself comfortable with driving again after a shakey driving test!

Good on you, mate.
Boredom can be a reason for feeling low, and I certainly know about that.
The same routine, day in, day out, can grind us down, so hopefully finding a hobby or interest will give you a boost.

As I say, start again with the driving lessons in your own time, and when you feel up to it, then hopefully you'll be motivated, and there'll be no stopping you.

Best of luck

 

[RossTheNinja]

You'd probably change your mind in real life!

Had to drive a car I'd never driven before as my driving instructors car had been taken into the garage and the car I was driving for the test was a bit bigger, ended up hitting the kerb when he told me to pull over on the left not once but twice! He was going to let me off with the first one but couldn't for the second, the second time i did it I knew it was going to be a fail and because I was thinking this ended up stalling about 4 times in a row, wanted the world to swallow me up!

Aw thanks It's hard to appreciate who I am when I think so low of myself, there isn't anything I think 'Well I'm canny there' I think I'm hopeless at pretty much everything in life like everyone else just seems to be getting by in life having normal lives being able to have normal social interactions etc and I'm clueless at everything.

Bit unfair on you with having a new car.

My dad lead the instructor out to the car for his test but couldn't find the car. He was walking up and down for five minutes thinking it had been stolen. He then remembered the car had changed the week before. Still passed the bugger.

 

[look out piano]

Had been struggling but started taking 3000mg / 30 % full spectrum hemp oil and It's really helping, feel less stressed, less anxious and able to cope = result ! I've had virtually every anti depressant over the years, this may be the stuff that is a good fit for me and my needs, I've been taking it for 5 days and can feel the results already - positive stuff !
Keep on keeping on folks, lots of love xx

 

[Deleted member 2014]

Had been struggling but started taking 3000mg / 30 % full spectrum hemp oil and It's really helping, feel less stressed, less anxious and able to cope = result ! I've had virtually every anti depressant over the years, this may be the stuff that is a good fit for me and my needs, I've been taking it for 5 days and can feel the results already - positive stuff !
Keep on keeping on folks, lots of love xx

Glad to see you've found a product that is helping to make a positive difference to your general wellbeing, and peace of mind.
Onwards and upwards LOP.

 

[becs]

You'd probably change your mind in real life!

Had to drive a car I'd never driven before as my driving instructors car had been taken into the garage and the car I was driving for the test was a bit bigger, ended up hitting the kerb when he told me to pull over on the left not once but twice! He was going to let me off with the first one but couldn't for the second, the second time i did it I knew it was going to be a fail and because I was thinking this ended up stalling about 4 times in a row, wanted the world to swallow me up!

Aw thanks It's hard to appreciate who I am when I think so low of myself, there isn't anything I think 'Well I'm canny there' I think I'm hopeless at pretty much everything in life like everyone else just seems to be getting by in life having normal lives being able to have normal social interactions etc and I'm clueless at everything.

That's a challenge now mind! Shame I'm going to be laid up for a while otherwise I'd be pestering you

That is rubbish with the change of car mind. It takes a bit of getting used to when you get in another car anyway, never mind when you have test nerves.

Have you had a look at Future Learn before? Free online courses from Top Universities - FutureLearn There's all sorts of stuff on there that you can dabble with. Have a play around with different courses and if you find something you are really keen on, that could be something you could progress into.

 

[Deleted member 15970]

...Suicide is NEVER the answer to our problems, so please don't even contemplate taking your own life.
Think of your loved ones, who'd be heartbroken as they'd be left behind to try to pick up the pieces, and try to make sense of your actions...

In the badly depressed's thought processes (and know this from my own struggles) we are the ones who create all of the problems and reverses so suicide becomes the best way to help our loved ones. We convince ourselves that they are better off without us and that any short term grief and upset is worth it for the hurt and problem free future.

I'm still here and loathe myself because of this. Then I feel guilty with thoughts about selfishness and that makes my self loathing worse. I've grown a beard so I don't have to look at myself whilst shaving. This to me makes sense and thoughts of loved ones acting as emotional anchors makes me resentful about them then I realise that I'm the one causing problems and so suicide seems like the best way to help my loved ones.

 

[look out piano]

Glad to see you've found a product that is helping to make a positive difference to your general wellbeing, and peace of mind.
Onwards and upwards LOP.

Thank you my friend xx

In the badly depressed's thought processes (and know this from my own struggles) we are the ones who create all of the problems and reverses so suicide becomes the best way to help our loved ones. We convince ourselves that they are better off without us and that any short term grief and upset is worth it for the hurt and problem free future.

I'm still here and loathe myself because of this. Then I feel guilty with thoughts about selfishness and that makes my self loathing worse. I've grown a beard so I don't have to look at myself whilst shaving. This to me makes sense and thoughts of loved ones acting as emotional anchors makes me resentful about them then I realise that I'm the one causing problems and so suicide seems like the best way to help my loved ones.

Don't give up please, seriously you're not alone and we're here to help / listen. I once sat down in front of my dad and told him that I wanted to kill myself many years ago. I'm still here and I'm still fighting but I can see light at the end of the tunnel (I promise you it's there xxx)

 

[citybythesea]

I've got a theory the growing rates of depression is linked to high levels of sugar in western diets

 

[toxic tracksuit]

I've got a theory the growing rates of depression is linked to high levels of sugar in western diets

Me too.
Linked with the majority of the body’s seratonin being produced in the gut.

 

[Skandhaless]

Good point about the lessons I think I'll postpone it, I didn't take the failing the driving test too bad since my driving instructors car had to be taken into the garage and was giving a completely different car to drive for the first time on my driving test and also had a stomach bug a few days before and wasn't feeling great! But because of other things it's knocked my confidence in driving and the motivation to do it in the first place.

I don't think I'd attempt to commit suicide but it's a thought that is constantly there at the moment and to be fair it's a thought that I've had for a long time! It's at the point at the moment where if I get any little set back it'll immediately pop into my mind.

I need to find an interest in something all I'm doing is going to work and then home with nothing much to do on weekends either, thing about night classes I'd probably need to pass my driving test to get there but yeah maybe I can try and use that as motivation to pass my test,

I think I need some just to get myself comfortable with driving again after a shakey driving test!

You need to find more than an interest Chris (although that in its self would provide some sense of achievement) , you need to find a way of recognising and then expressing your basic values in life and you will have plenty, you just need a bit help finding them.
Immediately I can spot you value kindness, humility, compassion, quiet courage, determination just in how you get through a testing life (there will be others) . They may not be the alpha male values of success, competition and striving that society lauds and places value on but they are great ones for a human .
Anytime you do anything that lives up to your values you are doing and living well mate no matter who else sees it or recognises it.
Just work on living to values in tiny ways rather than trying to achieve outward markers of success and recognise each time you do. You will be happier with yourself and believe me others would wish to be associated with such a person.
Stick in son.

 

[Deleted member 2014]

Thank you my friend xx

Don't give up please, seriously you're not alone and we're here to help / listen. I once sat down in front of my dad and told him that I wanted to kill myself many years ago. I'm still here and I'm still fighting but I can see light at the end of the tunnel (I promise you it's there xxx)

You're welcome LOP
It's great that you're so upbeat, happier and in a positive frame of mind, thanks in part, to the hemp oil.

 

[ChrisAshley]

That's a challenge now mind! Shame I'm going to be laid up for a while otherwise I'd be pestering you

That is rubbish with the change of car mind. It takes a bit of getting used to when you get in another car anyway, never mind when you have test nerves.

Have you had a look at Future Learn before? Free online courses from Top Universities - FutureLearn There's all sorts of stuff on there that you can dabble with. Have a play around with different courses and if you find something you are really keen on, that could be something you could progress into.

Having a browse on there and looks canny, thanks.

You need to find more than an interest Chris (although that in its self would provide some sense of achievement) , you need to find a way of recognising and then expressing your basic values in life and you will have plenty, you just need a bit help finding them.
Immediately I can spot you value kindness, humility, compassion, quiet courage, determination just in how you get through a testing life (there will be others) . They may not be the alpha male values of success, competition and striving that society lauds and places value on but they are great ones for a human .
Anytime you do anything that lives up to your values you are doing and living well mate no matter who else sees it or recognises it.
Just work on living to values in tiny ways rather than trying to achieve outward markers of success and recognise each time you do. You will be happier with yourself and believe me others would wish to be associated with such a person.
Stick in son.

Thanks mate I'll try! I think of myself as a bit of a nothing person like I offer nothing to anyone wanting to be a friend let alone girlfriend and haven't got a whole lot going for me compared to others (at least in my head anyway) so it's hard to really see any good qualities I have other than just being a nice person which is one of the easiest things to be.
Edit: Also hope you're recovering well @Ginger John !

 

[Deleted member 2014]

Having a browse on there and looks canny, thanks.

Thanks mate I'll try! I think of myself as a bit of a nothing person like I offer nothing to anyone wanting to be a friend let alone girlfriend and haven't got a whole lot going for me compared to others (at least in my head anyway) so it's hard to really see any good qualities I have other than just being a nice person which is one of the easiest things to be.

You might not be aware of your other qualities, but others will notice and appreciate what you have to offer.
Just trying to be the best version of yourself, is a positive start.
Others will see your true worth, even if you cannot see it, for yourself.
Being a nice person is a big deal and a fantastic quality in itself imho, and should be commended.

Take care, and try to keep your chin up Chris.

 

[Skandhaless]

Having a browse on there and looks canny, thanks.

Thanks mate I'll try! I think of myself as a bit of a nothing person like I offer nothing to anyone wanting to be a friend let alone girlfriend and haven't got a whole lot going for me compared to others (at least in my head anyway) so it's hard to really see any good qualities I have other than just being a nice person which is one of the easiest things to be.
Edit: Also hope you're recovering well @Ginger John !

You need to dig a bit mate all those values are there.

 

[ChrisAshley]

You might not be aware of your other qualities, but others will notice and appreciate what you have to offer.
Just trying to be the best version of yourself, is a positive start.
Others will see your true worth, even if you cannot see it, for yourself.
Being a nice person is a big deal imho, and should be commended.

Take care, and try to keep your chin up Chris.

Cheers mate, I turned to this place since I don't really have any close friends and try to not let family members know since they're going through their own stuff and don't want to add to it but this place definitely helps.